


He Is The Air

by FruitsOfPassion



Series: He Is The Air [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Love, makoharu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-26
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 16:56:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 59,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FruitsOfPassion/pseuds/FruitsOfPassion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto is the same as air to Haruka, essential to his life and without him he feels like he's suffocating. While his heart belongs to another Haruka has to cope with his life line being taken away, deciding whether it's time to sink or swim. MakoHaru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I did a little oneshot called It Had Been Two Months and this is the story that came out of it :) hope you like it
> 
> Also like to thank Zaabeth for helping to iron out all the kinks in this chapter

Haruka sulked slightly as he scanned the various shopping aisles surrounding him, his best friend's hand tightly wrapped around his wrist, dragging him along and keeping him close at all times. He wanted to roughly pull from the hold, he wanted to say that he had no reason to be here, he wanted to leave and jump into the nearest body of water, but instead he stayed. The warmth he received from the skin to skin contact kept him tethered to Makoto.

Makoto glanced over his shoulder, offering his friend a quick smile. There was something about the smile that was a bit difficult to discern, but if Haruka had to place it, he would say the smile was a mixture of apology, gratefulness, and reassurance. Apology that Makoto was dragging him around the shops on the weekend, gratefulness that he didn't have to do this alone, and reassurance that they'd be finished soon enough.

Although he never offered a smile in return, Haruka knew that Makoto understood his look of acceptance. He knew Makoto would make this as painless as possible.

Ordinarily he didn't mind helping Makoto. In fact he'd do anything just to see that little smile on his face. But today was different. Today he wasn't shopping for some must-have toy for the twins, some tool essential for his dad's DIY, some food his mother had forgotten to pick up. Today he was helping Makoto buy a gift for Gou.

That was the reason he was dragging his heels, the reason he wanted to run and never look back, the reason he wanted to scream. He still hadn't managed to control his jealousy, hadn't managed to accept their relationship, hadn't managed to push his feelings for Makoto back into the realms of friendship.

It had been exactly three months since they'd gotten together, and Haruka knew this for a fact. It was a fact that Gou had no issues flaunting, telling anyone who would listen, throwing it in Haruka's face at every chance she got. That she and Makoto were and official couple.

…

Haruka leant against the wall, his shoulder brushing against Makoto's, eating lunch as the only pair on the roof. In his typical mother hen style Makoto was insisting he shared his food with the other, claiming Haruka couldn't live on mackerel.

He offered the taller male an indignant look but still leaned in and ate the food being offered to him, heart fluttering at the treatment he was currently receiving, the treatment that was usually reserved for Gou.

"Mako-chan!" A voice called out, almost as if the mere thought of her name had summoned her.

He resisted the urge to glare at the younger girl, instead choosing to lean back and cross his arms. School was his time with Makoto, they had different friends and tended to stick with them, occasionally they'd be together – Gou would always make a big deal out of him if she saw him in passing – but it was mostly outside of school hours they spent in each other's company.

Haruka usually had to share his time with Makoto with Nagisa and Rei, but today the two had somewhere else they needed to be. Haruka hadn't been overly bothered by the details, only recognizing the opportunity to finally get Makoto to himself. But then she'd shown up. Haruka was sick of sharing, and although it was selfish, he wanted his best friend back.

"Gou-chan?" The boy asked, turning slightly to see her dropping to her knees beside him.

Haruka inwardly groaned as Makoto's back was pressed further into his shoulder with Gou's added weight, their kisses ringing in his ears.

"What did you need?" Makoto asked when he was finally released, although his back was to him he could still sense Haruka's unimpressed mood.

"Do you know what this Saturday is?" She asked, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"This Saturday?" Makoto repeated the question, trying to find a reason in the back of his mind as to why it should hold some significance to him.

"The 25th?" Haruka offered, hoping to end this conversation and rid himself of the girl.

"No." Gou shook her head with a laugh, Haruka hating how it caused Makoto to smile. "Well technically it is but it's also something far more important."

"Rin's coming to stay?" Makoto suggested.

"No. It's our three month anniversary!" She exclaimed.

"Oh, you're right!" Makoto nodded. "We'll have to do something special then."

"Really? Oh, Mako-chan you're the best!" She squealed, throwing herself yet again at the boy.

Haruka audibly groaned as the couple once again used him as a support, though it failed to separate the pair, far too caught up in each other to notice he was even there.

He couldn't understand how Makoto put up with her, the constant giggling, shrieking and blushing whenever he was around, her manipulative eyes that managed to get him to do anything – and worse think it was his idea – and her fake sulks when she didn't have his constant full attention. He must like her a lot for these things to not bother him. The thought only served to anger Haruka further.

He roughly pushed the couple, hoping to knock her off but Makoto's solid back took most of the impact, the girl being completely unaffected and still showering the other with kisses.

"Three months." She breathed once she pulled back.

"A quarter of a year." He laughed.

"Can you believe it Haru?" She asked, dragging him into their world.

He remained silent for a while, his mind reeling from the name, she had no right to call him that, only his close friends could call him that and she most certainly didn't fall into that category.

"No, I can't." He said eventually, the girl smiling at his answer before pulling Makoto's lips back to hers, this time using the wall as their support rather than him.

I can't believe he's stayed with you, if it was up to me he wouldn't have, he added in his head before pushing himself up. Gathering his belongings he walked away from the pair, his feet subconsciously leading him towards the pool.

"Haru!" Makoto's voice called after him but he didn't stop, he'd had all he could handle of the couple for one day. If he needed him that badly he knew where to find him.

Eventually Haruka made it to the pool, quickly discarding his clothes before diving in, the cool water hitting him and holding him. He usually came here to relax, take away any worries he had and to just be one with the water, but it didn't work anymore. Even lying on the base and staring up at the sky through the ripples couldn't clear his mind. Makoto and Gou still occupied his thoughts.

He stayed in the pool until he heard the bell, indicating the end of lunch, his heart heavy as he pulled himself out, Makoto didn't come for him. Gou had won again, she'd managed to take the precious time they had together and make it about her.

…

It had been four days since that lunchtime, four days since all Makoto could talk about was spoiling his girlfriend, four days since Haruka realised he was losing him a little more each day.

"What about this, Haru-chan?" Makoto asked, holding out a necklace with a small plain, silver dolphin charm on it.

"Drop the 'chan'." He muttered in fake annoyance, truth was he loved the nickname he'd been given. "Does she like dolphins?" He asked, eyeing up the necklace.

"I don't think so." He shook his head. "Maybe I should give it you instead."

"It's been thirteen years, I'd expect more than just a necklace." Haruka said, smiling slightly as he heard Makoto's laugh echo off the walls as he placed the necklace back on the shelf.

"I think thirteen years of my friendship is enough of a gift." He squeezed Haruka's shoulders before heading further down the aisle, eyes trailing the shelves.

Haruka found his cheeks burning slightly. Unfortunately this was his normal reaction whenever Makoto would touch him unexpectedly. Luckily the latter never seemed to notice.

"If she doesn't like dolphins what does she like?" Haruka questioned, quickly catching up to his friend.

"Girl stuff." Makoto shrugged. "Make-up, jewellery, clothes, accessories, flowers, water. Though not to your extent." He said, offering the smaller boy a wink and earning another blush. "But beyond that I'm stumped, some boyfriend huh?"

"She seems happy." Haruka added.

"Hopefully." He nodded, lifting up a bracelet to examine it before placing it back in its position with a shake of the head.

"Even if she does only like you for your biceps." He grumbled bitterly, Gou was always blushing and complimenting Makoto's looks, but did she not realise his worth ran deeper than that? Did she not realise he was a perfect person inside and out?

"Beyond that what have I got going for me?" Makoto joked.

You're caring, you're considerate, you're always there for your friends, your exterior masks the pure heart inside, you still use me for protection whenever you're scared, you have a perfect smile, you have the warmest eyes and you can understand me perfectly. Without having to say any words I know you understand what I'm feeling, sometimes even better than I do myself.

But he couldn't bring himself to say these words aloud.

"That's true." He nodded instead, choosing to just go along with the joke.

"And that's why, after thirteen years, you still haven't got a gift. You need to appreciate me more, Haru." He laughed, dropping to his knees to view the items on the bottom shelves.

"You don't understand how much I appreciate you." He whispered to himself, Makoto oblivious to the fact he'd spoken.

Slowly, Haruka bent his legs bringing himself down to Makoto's height, the pair cluelessly eyeing the rows of sparkling jewels in front of them.

"Maybe I should have brought Nagisa." Makoto commented, stretching back to his full height.

"Am I not good enough?" Haruka huffed, crossing his arms.

"I didn't mean that." He said, rubbing the back of his neck and smiling, his eyes fluttering shut as he did, a look that Haruka loved. "He just seems to know more about this stuff, he'd have filled my arms with potential gifts by now."

Haruka wanted to feel offended but he knew that he had a point. When Makoto had asked him about this shopping trip he'd almost suggested bringing Nagisa instead, it was on the tip of his tongue. But the thought of spending the day alone with Makoto had pushed the suggestion down, rather, he accepted the offer himself while making a show of begrudgingly doing so, making Makoto feel that he owed him.

"How about this?" Haruka asked, grabbing the first ring that caught his eye, showing he was just as good as Nagisa. He blushed slightly at his current position, knelt down on one knee offering a ring towards his best friend, the taller boy unaware of their compromising situation. Makoto eyed up the ring in his fingers, head tilted slightly as he assessed it, a plain silver band with a large turquoise gem, like water trapped inside a ring.

"Oh Haru, it's perfect." He gushed, grabbing the ring from his outstretched hand.

"Great." He said, standing up again, trying to ignore the whispers and stares from the young girls also shopping.

Usually he was unaffected by others, never bothered by their opinions, but when he was around Makoto his senses seemed overly aware, he noticed every look, every touch, every movement, every voice around him.

Currently, he was conscious of the smiles shot in the pair's direction as Makoto swung his arm around his neck in a friendly gesture, but the fellow shoppers had likely already made their assumptions, viewing their relationship and the gesture as something it wasn't.

Haruka let himself pretend for a moment, pretend that Makoto was his, pretend that he could hold him whenever he wanted, pretend that when Makoto fell asleep at night it was his face he saw, pretend that the person his heart beat for returned his feelings.

"She's going to love it." Makoto commented, bringing Haruka crashing back to reality.

Although he could pretend all he wanted, he could never have what he desired. Makoto's heart would always belong to Gou.

…

Once the ring had been successfully purchased the pair walked home from the shops, the sun setting behind them. They used the usual route along the beach, Haruka noticing how the sun reflected perfectly in sea, casting light into Makoto's eyes, making the green orbs shine.

"Thanks for today Haru, I appreciate it." Makoto said as the pair turned onto their street, Haruka shrugging casually in response.

The pair came to a stop outside Haruka's door, Makoto smiling down at the other boy, his shoulder leaning gently against the wall while Haruka fumbled with his keys.

Haruka wondered if this was what it had been like with Gou, walking her back to her door, Makoto's smile causing butterflies so powerful without his knowledge, making her feel like she was the only person in the world, the only person that mattered.

"Mako…" He started but was cut off by the shrill ring of a cell phone.

Makoto offered a quick apologetic look before answering, Haruka silently cursing the timing, knowing full well who would be on the other end.

"Hello Gou-chan." Makoto said, confirming Haruka's suspicions.

"Yeah, I hadn't forgotten." He laughed, giving the other boy a look that he could only weakly return.

"I might have done." Makoto said, eyes dropping to the bag in his hand, Haruka rolling his eyes, knowing what she was asking about.

"You'll just have to wait and see." He offered the shorter boy a quick wave before heading towards his own house, his voice become nothing more than a slight whisper on the wind.

Haruka continued to watch him, his heart aching, until he was gone, all that remained was the empty steps outside his home.

Why couldn't Makoto see how shallow she was? Why couldn't he understand how much better he could do? Why couldn't he realise that there was already someone waiting to love him?

With a sigh, Haruka let himself into his house, his feet padding across the floor towards the bathroom, hoping the water would sooth him and help him forget about his best friend, even though he knew it wouldn't work.

Instead, he lay in the water until his skin started to pucker, listening to the sounds of moving water echo through his empty house, his mind constantly imagining Makoto's night, Gou smiling across at him as he presented her with his gift.

His mind created a variety of different scenarios until he finally admitted defeat and went to bed, where the scenarios finally changed and it was he who was sat across the table from Makoto, rather than someone who didn't deserve him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Zaabeth for helping

Haruka floated in the sea, his body rising and falling with the currents and waves, the relaxing smell of salt assaulting his nose. The noises of someone making their way through the ocean caught his attention, causing him to push his feet to the ground and seek out the sound's origin.

He looked towards the shore and saw Makoto forcing his way through the surfs, eagerly waving at his friend as the water dripped off his chest. Haruka watched him in confusion. Although Makoto was getting better with his fear he still avoided the ocean when possible, not seeking it out so willingly.

"Haru-chan!" He called out once he was closer.

Haruka wanted to tell him to drop the chan, but he found he was rendered speechless, his eyes soaking in the way Makoto's body almost glistened in the sun.

"Haru!" The object of his observation shouted once at his side, his voice sounding distant despite how close they now stood.

Haruka nodded dumbly in response before he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist, pulling him into the taller boy's chest. Haruka inhaled deeply, all smells of the sea gone, instead replaced with the scents of Makoto. No amount of products in the world could smell as perfect as the boy.

"Haru." Makoto said, softer this time, gently brushing aside some of his wet bangs. Haruka felt electric just from the touch.

"What are you doing here?" He managed to ask, looking up to meet green eyes, so close he could count the brown flecks.

But Makoto didn't answer, instead he just repeated his name, his breath against his ear causing a shiver to go down Haruka's spin. He brought his arms up and wrapped them around his friend's broad shoulders, feeling each individual muscle under his skin.

"Haru-chan." Makoto said, lightly chuckling at his friend.

Suddenly, Haruka felt like he was being shook, but not with the movement of the waves. It was a force far stronger than that.

Slowly, sleepy eyes began to open and he found himself lying in his bed, a hand placed on his shoulder as he was moved with a gentle shaking motion.

"Good morning Haru-chan. Or should I say good afternoon." Makoto smiled, tilting his head to one side.

"Makoto? What are you doing here?" Haruka asked groggily, pulling his hands back in embarrassment when he realised they were tightly gripping his friend's shirt. He was thankful that he was woken from quite a mild dream. If it had been one of his more intense fantasies, he would have had a difficult situation to explain to Makoto.

"I came to get you for practice, but I had at least expected you to have had a bath by now." He laughed.

"I went to bed late." He shrugged, pushing himself so that he was now sitting, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.

Recently, he could find very few reasons to get out of bed on the weekends, with Makoto always occupied with Gou his days just seemed to stretch, rattling around his house alone.

"Where's Gou?" He asked as he felt his bed sag with Makoto's added weight.

"She's out with her friend." He explained, leaning back on his arms and staring at the ceiling.

Haruka turned to look at his friend, taking in every last detail of him while the latter was unaware. His plump lips that were gently blowing out air, his defined jawline, his strong chest, his muscular arms that tensed as he leant against them.

"We should get going." Makoto finally said, pushing himself up.

Haruka frowned lightly.

"If Gou's out then why are we having this practice?" He questioned. As their manager she usually arranged their practices, the boys having a tendency of finding other activities to distract them without her gentle nagging.

"Nagisa's idea. He wants to see if he can get Rei to learn some new strokes." Makoto said, holding out his hand for Haruka.

With a quick smile Haruka reached up and took hold of the hand, letting the taller boy pull him out of his bed.

"Fine." Haruka relented. "But I'm having something to eat before we go." He kept hold of Makoto's hand, blushing slightly when he realised his friend made no attempts to let go either.

"I guess I can allow that." Makoto laughed, finally dropping his hand as he turned around. "Get ready and I'll wait for you in the kitchen."

Haruka watched as he walked out the room, sighing and running his fingers through his hair. Why did he have to develop these feelings? Life was much easier when Makoto was just his best friend and nothing more. Groaning he kicked a pair of discarded shoes across the room, cringing slightly as they clattered across the wooden floor.

…

Once dressed, Haruka joined Makoto in the kitchen, who stood up from the table when he saw him walk in.

"I'm impressed, I expected you to just be in your swim shorts." Makoto said, his carefree smile gracing his face once again.

In response, Haruka just rolled his eyes, choosing not to mention that he was wearing them underneath for easy access.

Makoto leant against the counter and watched his friend take ingredients out of the fridge to beginning cooking.

"Mackeral? Really?" He asked in disbelief. It was a wonder how could he not get tired of the same food day after day.

Haruka just shrugged in response, Makoto groaning loudly and letting his shoulders slump as he heard the familiar sizzle of fish against the hot pan.

"You need to vary your diet, Haru." He scolded, still not getting a single word out of him. "Haru, you listening? Haru?"

Tired of being ignored Makoto reached out a finger and sharply poked Haruka in his side, the boy jumping away in shock from the unexpected contact.

"Is Haru-chan ticklish?" Makoto asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"No, I'm not." He said, trying to keep his face neutral, his body betraying him by squirming every time Makoto's finger touched him.

The finger was replaced by a whole hand, another quickly joining, the tips dancing across his skin.

"Makoto, stop." He tried to move away but he was trapped. Haruka could feel the heat from the chest stood just behind his back.

Makoto didn't stop. Instead he increased his pace, watching in satisfaction as Haruka writhed under his touch.

"Please." He begged, cursing as a small laugh escaped his lips.

He hadn't wanted to get carried away, knowing he would only end up reading too much into the situation. Haruka had seen Makoto pin Ren and Ran to the ground with tickles numerous times, this moment wasn't any different. Makoto would always comment on how close they were, comparing them to brothers, and this was just a brotherly display of affection.

But, despite reminding himself of this, he couldn't help but imagine it was something more. Perhaps Makoto was just looking for small reasons to touch him? Perhaps this was his shy way of letting Haruka know he felt something more too?

"I will stop if you promise me something." Makoto laughed, his deep chuckle echoing through Haruka's mind.

"Anything." He replied breathlessly.

"You will stop eating mackerel for breakfast, lunch and dinner." Haruka nodded at his request, expecting Makoto to stop but his relief never came. Instead the hands moved from his hips to his stomach.

Unable to control himself Haruka giggled helplessly, his body shaking, falling backwards into his friend's chest. He hated, yet loved, every minute of his torture.

"You said you'd stop." He complained through his laughs.

"I did, but I love hearing you laugh." He explained, Haruka's cheeks flushing at the confession.

All too quickly Makoto pulled away, reaching into his pocket to grab his now ringing phone.

"Hey." His cheerful voice exclaimed as he answered the phone.

Haruka's spirits waned, hating how he could tell just from the tone who was on the other end. The loving voice Makoto used only for Gou.

He looked back at his fish – almost forgetting he was cooking something in the heat of the moment. Seeing the less-than-ideal sight, he groaned. One side was burnt and the other not even cooked. He flipped the fish over, knowing he wouldn't enjoy his meal as much as usual.

"Haru?" Makoto's voice called out, bringing him back to reality. He had stopped listening altogether when his friend had answered the phone.

"Yes?" He looked towards the other.

"Be quick, okay? I told Nagisa we'd be there half an hour ago." He smiled, pulling his hand away from his speaker and returning to his conversation. "Of course I was listening Gou-chan."

Haruka turned back to his cooking with a heavy heart. In Makoto's eyes he would always be a little brother that he tolerated, loved because he had to and never anything more.

…

"Where's Gou?" Nagisa asked as Haruka and Makoto arrived at the pool. Clearly he wasn't the only one who thought it strange to see the pair separated on a weekend.

"Shopping." Makoto laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I saw her last night anyway."

"Yes, it was the big anniversary dinner." Rei commented, stretching out his body. "How did it go?"

"Good thanks, we had a great time."

"Did she like the present?" Nagisa asked, bounding up to his captain.

"Yeah, she did." Makoto said, shooting a thankful smile in Haruka's direction.

"How much did she like it?" Nagisa questioned, raising his eyebrows quickly.

"Nagisa." Rei scolded, letting his arms drop it his side, but the blonde ignored him, continuing to look up at Makoto with wide eyes.

"I'm not giving you all the details." Makoto said, his cheeks becoming pink.

"So something did happen!" Nagisa exclaimed in excitement, causing Makoto's blush to brighten. "Come on, we're all friends here and we want to know."

"I'm not bothered." Haruka stated, the young boy turning to glare at him but he didn't change his mind. The last thing he wanted was all the sordid details of Makoto's night with Gou.

"Then don't listen." Nagisa shrugged, turning back toward Makoto.

"Nagisa." Makoto sighed, grabbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I'm going to get changed."

He reached down and grabbed his bag, walking towards the changing room. The excitable boy followed close behind.

"No fair Mako-chan!" He exclaimed. "You can't leave me hanging like this."

Haruka watched them leave with a sigh, guilt slowly encasing his heart. Not once had he asked Makoto about his date. The whole time he ate his breakfast, the whole walk here there wasn't a single mention of Gou. For someone who claimed to care deeply about Makoto he hadn't been taking much of an interest in his life recently.

"Don't you need to change too, Haru-senpai?" Rei asked, turning only to see a pile of clothes where Haruka had once been, the boy in question now submerged within the pool's cool water.

Rei shook his head slightly and continued his stretches, waiting for his other team mates to return.

…

Haruka only stopped swimming when he noticed Nagisa and Makoto walking back out into the sun. With a few swift kicks, he brought his feet to the bottom of the pool, standing tall in the water. Judging by the smug look on Nagisa's face, the persistence had worked and Makoto had caved, giving Nagisa all the details from last night.

"I think I'm going to have an ice lolly." The young boy declared loudly.

Nagisa strutted over to the cool box, aware of three sets of eyes following him, and reached in to pull a treat out. They were usually reserved for after practice but the boy clearly decided he deserved one now.

He slowly brought the ice to his mouth, loudly slurping and sucking as it passed his lips, nodding his head in Makoto's direction. Haruka gasped slightly at the implication while Rei just shook his head.

"Nagisa!" Makoto shouted, having watched his whole act. "You said if I told you that you'd keep it to yourself."

"I didn't say anything." Nagisa feigned innocence.

"But you might as well have just come out here and announced it." He groaned, hiding his face in his hands in embarrassment.

"Fine, Makoto got a…" He started but was soon cut off.

"Don't you even dare." Makoto warned.

"Okay, it can be our little secret Mako-chan." He smiled up at the boy who responded by letting himself drop into the pool, refusing to make eye contact with the other two members as he began swimming laps.

…

Haraku watched as Nagisa held his hands under Rei's back as he practiced his backstroke, pulling away slightly when he thought he'd mastered it only to quickly replace them as he watched his friend begin to sink. That was when he noticed a distinct lack of ripples through the water. Haruka turned to see Makoto no longer aggressively lapping the pool, instead resting on the side, head still down.

He swam over to him, catching his eye and tilting his head to one side in question.

"I'm fine Haru." He laughed, trying to forget his earlier embarrassment.

Haruka gave him a look that implied he didn't believe his act for a second.

"Really, I'm alright." He smiled.

The other boy finally nodded before swimming away slightly.

"Haru?" Makoto called out, causing the boy to freeze and turn around. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Makoto held his hand up where a pair of goggles hung off his fingers.

He slowly slid back into the pool, and Haruka held his hand out for his possession. But Makoto held them above his head, out of reach for the smaller boy.

"And what do I get in return if I give these to you?" Makoto asked, smirking down at the boy.

Haruka wasn't one to play in a pool, he preferred to swim, preferred to feel the water surrounding him, but the teasing glint in Makoto's eye challenged him, he couldn't resist. He jumped quickly, hoping to catch the taller boy off guard and get the goggles, however, he didn't count on Makoto being able to read his every movement. The goggles were soon thrown to his other hand and behind his back, rendering Haruka's action useless.

"I'm not giving up that easy Haru-chan." He laughed as Haruka tried to reach behind him, the act only resulting in his chest being pressed against the others and a blush on his cheeks, the goggles still untouched.

He groaned and tried to move around the taller boy but Makoto mimicked his movement and the prize still remained annoyingly out of reach. It seemed Makoto had made it his mission for the day to tease him, and if he was being completely honest with himself, he wasn't complaining.

"I need those." Haruka lied, he'd been swimming fine without them earlier but he was enjoying the dance the two of them were doing through the water.

"You're going to have to offer me something before I give them up." He joked.

"You can have anything you want from me." He mumbled, far too honestly for his liking.

"Oh Haru-chan, you shouldn't make these sorts promises." He shook his head with a smile, Haruka thankful he'd missed the truth in his voice. "I've got all sorts of ideas going through my mind."

"Like what?" He whispered, stopping in the water and pressing his body fully against his.

"H-Haru?" Makoto questioned, eyes widening ever so slightly.

"Mako-chan!" A high pitched voice called out, causing the boy in question to drop the goggles and jump back from his friend.

"Gou-chan? What are you doing here?" He asked, turning towards his girlfriend.

Haruka watched as the goggles slowly sunk to the bottom of the pool, once again his time with Makoto had been cut short, whether it was a phone call or turning up in person, Gou always ruined it. He let his body drop under water, reaching out for the goggles that he'd been previously fighting for. Resurfacing, he noticed Makoto was already out the pool, standing by the girl's side. He watched as the male gently brushed her hair from her face. Haruka's cheeks flushed slightly as he thought back to his dream, Makoto providing him with that same caring gesture.

"Stop, you're getting my hair wet." Gou giggled, letting the boy pull her into a soggy embrace anyway. He then greeted the friend she'd brought with her over her head.

"Gou! You're ruining it for everyone." Nagisa called out, voicing Haruka's thoughts but far more playfully.

"How so?" She glared, pulling away from Makoto.

"We just wanted some fun but now we've got our manager bossing us around." He responded, sticking his tongue out at her.

"I'm not here to boss you around, just here for the view." She replied, then blushed, trailing a finger down Makoto's chiselled chest.

The action caused Haruka to slap the water in anger and push himself from the pool, although his response went unnoticed by most around him. He walked over to the couple with a scowl on his face.

"Hello Nanase-kun." Gou's friend said, smiling at the boy as he arrived.

He nodded at her in acknowledgment, he'd seen her with Gou before but had never cared to learn her name or converse with her. He saw Makoto giving him a firm look, silently telling him to treat her politely.

"Hello." He said in return, the girl blushing slightly at his greeting.

"Go on boys, carry on swimming. Act like we're not here." Gou said, linking her arms with the other girl and pulling her away to the stands, the pair whispering furiously as they did.

"Come on Haru-chan." Makoto gestured with his head and walked back towards the pool's edge.

"Drop the 'chan'." He muttered, following after him.

Makoto paused a few steps before the water, pulling an arm across his chest and stretching, each muscle in his back contracting perfectly. Haruka stopped in his tracks, watching in awe as Makoto repeated the action with his other arm. Finishing, he dropped his arms to his side and continued walking towards the pool, only for a voice to call out to him.

"No! You haven't stretched out enough, Makoto." Gou teased, watching him with the usual glazed over eyes.

Makoto shot his girlfriend a wink over his shoulder before holding his arm above his head and pulling it in another stretch, Gou biting her lip as she stared. Annoyed, Haruka began moving towards the stretching boy and with a quick push he fell into the pool, the splash so powerful it hit him, water dripped from his hair.

"Haru." Makoto moaned as he resurfaced.

"You were taking too long." He shrugged.

Makoto gave him a look and brought his hand out of the water, reaching it towards him. But before he could make a grab for the other boy's legs Nagisa jumped on his back, sending him, once again, crashing under the water.

He sprung up and turned to face the younger boy, his eyes narrowed playfully.

"I was just cooling you off." Nagisa offered weakly as an excuse before Makoto leapt at him.

The pair raced around the pool, as fast as they could against the resistant water, splashing each other, their laughs ringing out from the pool.

Haruka watched them – Nagisa dragging Rei in so he could be used as a shield, Makoto intent on getting Nagisa back whatever the cost – and he felt the corners of his lips tugging up slightly as he stood there.

But as he turned towards the two girls, the smile quickly faded. Gou's eyes were fixed on Makoto, her face brimming with pride as she chatted, probably boasting about last night and what she'd done with him. He watched as she leaned in to whisper to the other girl, not-so-subtly pointing at Haruka as she did. Her friend looked up and caught his eye, waving slightly at him. Haruka offered an awkward wave in return before she blushed and looked back down. Gou giggled at the exchange and quickly winked at Haruka, who just looked away in confusion.

Pushing the pair to the back of his mind he jumped into the water, deciding if Nagisa was using Rei, then Makoto deserved a partner in this fight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Zaabeth for helping me :) my little angel

Haruka slowly made his ways down the steps from his house, his feet dragging as he went. He walked the familiar route to Makoto's house – he hadn't called in advance, but with the amount of times Makoto had turned up unannounced he assumed it wouldn't be a problem. When he reached the door he hesitated before knocking, knowing he'd be pinned to the ground by Ren and Ran if he did. And although he loved them he wasn't in the mood right now.

Instead, he walked around the house and let himself in through the back door. Once inside he noted the calm air in the house, and deciding the twins were out he strode through the corridors towards Makoto's door.

When he reached his destination he found himself frozen. What if he was in there with Gou? He'd seen them kiss plenty of times but alone in his bedroom they'd be far more intimate. It was something that would haunt his mind if he did unfortunately walk in on such a situation. He moved his head closer for any tell-tale sounds, but judging by the silence Makoto was either reading or was out with the rest of his family.

Haruka opened the door. His unexpected intrusion was met with silence. Makoto wasn't here. He walked in further and took in all the small details of his best friend's room.

Discarded glasses on the side, an empty contact-lens packet next to them. An open book, face down to save the page. A dresser left open from where someone had changed in a hurry before leaving, school clothes thrown haphazardly on the bed. A bed that had been perfectly made, despite how much of a rush Makoto might have been in, the tail of his tatty, old orca teddy that he liked to keep hidden poking out from under his pillow. The space above his bed filled with pictures that his younger siblings had drawn for him, and one by Haruka himself that the twins insisted was placed with pride alongside their own masterpieces.

Haruka walked over to Makoto's bed, his eyes trying not to focus on the new addition of a framed picture of Makoto and Gou smiling happily under a blossoming tree. He lay down on the bed, eyes fluttering closed in contentment. He knew he couldn't stay here for long but for now he didn't care – for now he felt at home.

He turned to his side and reached for the orange and yellow shirt that Makoto slept in, he held it close and breathed in. The smell of Makoto filling his senses, imagining they were lying here together. Imagining he wasn't clinging desperately to a shirt but instead was holding the real thing.

The sounds of movement caused his blood to turn cold and eyes to shoot open, quickly pushing himself up on the bed. Although the room was still empty he knew there was someone in the house, he gently stood and left, hoping to find Makoto as the source of the sound.

He walked through hall towards the noise, realising someone was in the kitchen. His heart dropped instantly when he noticed the red head at the sink. Gou. Haruka clenched his fists slightly when he noticed Makoto's large shirt covering her, a skirt just peeping out underneath. He used to always offer Haruka a shirt when he came over after school for comfort, but clearly that gesture was transferable.

"Jesus!" Gou cried out, turning to see another figure in the room, the teapot in her hands clattering to the ground. "When did you get here?" She asked, dropping to her knees to clean the spilt water.

"Not long ago." Haruka shrugged, grabbing the teapot and refilling it.

"Right, well Makoto just went to go get something from the shop." She explained, standing tall and reaching for the pot. "He'll be back soon."

Haruka just nodded in response, watching as she placed the pot on the stove, his eyes closing in on the ring she was wearing with pride. The ring he's stupidly picked out for her.

"Can I get you a drink?" She offered, trying to fill the silence.

Haruka's eyes narrowed at her back, did she really think he was her guest? As if she was more a part of this family than he was?

"I'll get it myself." He murmured, walking over to the cupboard.

"Could you grab me a mug from the top shelf?" She asked, Haruka rolling his eyes at her question.

He'd been coming here since he was four, he knew his way around, he didn't need her reminding him where everything was kept. He could do this blindfolded. He used to find his way around in the dark when Makoto was too scared to get his own water, long before Gou had even been in the picture.

Roughly handing Gou a mug he took his glass of water and sat at the table, refusing to say anything more to the girl.

Gou sighed and made her tea, and despite his resistance she still went and sat with him. She placed herself down across from his and stared at her steaming drink.

"Haruka, we need to talk." Gou said quietly, never once looking up.

"We do?" He questioned, uninterested in what she had to say.

"Yeah." She took a long sip from her drink before continuing. "I know."

"Know what?" He sighed, getting tired of these games.

"About how you feel." She admitted, finally looking up into his widened eyes.

After a moment of tense silence, Haruka spoke.

"H-how?" He stuttered nervously. If she had found out, how long would it be before she told Makoto?

"Well you haven't exactly been subtle about it." She replied with a small laugh. "But I don't understand why."

"You don't understand why?" He questioned, surely out of everyone she'd be the one who understood the most.

"But we don't have to tell Makoto, we can sort this out ourselves." She smiled warmly at him.

"How?" He questioned again, a little worried where she could be going with this.

"Look Haruka, you're my boyfriend's best friend, I want us to get along. I know we've never been close but I never realised how strongly you felt about me."

Haruka blinked.

"Oh." He muttered quietly. So that was the reason she assumed he was so distant to the couple – not because of his love for Makoto but instead due to his hatred for Gou.

"So do you think you could try? I'd really like us to be friends." Gou reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. "I know it really would make Makoto happy."

Haruka looked at their hands for a brief moment, and then raised his eyes to Gou's earnest face. He knew he would agree, but it wouldn't be for her sake. It was and always would be for Makoto.

"Okay." He accepted. "I'll try."

Gou smiled. "Thank you."

"I'm back!" Makoto's voice boomed through the house. Haruka quickly pulled his hand back, not wanted to feel as if he was currently betraying his friend.

"In the kitchen." Gou called back, wrapping her hand back around her tea.

"Hey." Makoto said, arriving in the kitchen and placing a kiss on Gou's head. "Haru-chan? What are you doing here?"

"He's been keeping me company." Gou replied, giving him a quick wink.

"Really?" Makoto asked with a smile.

"Yeah." Haruka nodded slightly, feeling butterflies in his stomach as the smile on Makoto's face widened at the idea.

"Anyway." Gou announced, clasping her boyfriend's hand in her own. "I'm going to have to love you and leave you because I promised mum I'd cook dinner." She pushed herself to her feet, giving Makoto a quick embrace before making her way out of the room. "I just need to get changed."

Makoto smiled at her as she left, picking up Gou's empty cup and taking it over to the sink. Haruka watched his movements, his friend going through the motions of cleaning the already perfect kitchen.

"Where is everyone?" Haruka asked to break the silence.

"Ren and Ran have a club after school and mum and dad are still at work." He said, turning to face Haruka. "So, it's just us."

"Yeah, just us." Haruka said quietly to himself as Gou re-entered the room, dressed in her school uniform once again.

"Alright, I'm off." She smiled, walking over to Makoto and rising onto her tiptoes. He smiled in return, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her up to his lips.

Haruka averted his eyes and stared hard at the glass of water in front of him, wanting nothing more than to throw it at the couple.

"Bye Haru." Gou said as she left the room.

"Bye." He muttered in return, never glancing up from his drink.

"Want to go play video games?" Makoto asked once the click of the front door was heard.

Without a word Haruka rose to his feet and headed towards the hallway, knowing with just a look he could convey all he needed to.

"I'll just get a drink and meet you there." Makoto chuckled as he watched his best friends retreating form.

Once Haruka was back in his friend's room, he picked up the sleep shirt that he'd dropped earlier in his haste and placed it back on the bed, removing any evidence he'd already been here. He then placed his drink on the desk and with a quick flick of the wrist he knocked the picture, watching with satisfaction as it slipped between the wood and the wall.

"Oops." He muttered, allowing himself a small smile. It was only a small victory but he counted it as a triumph none the less.

"You can pick the game." Makoto said, causing Haruka to jump slightly in guilt as he walked in the room.

"Okay." He bent down to go through the games, watching from the corner of his eye as Makoto placed his glass down next to his own, not noticing anything was missing from the desk. Haruka allowed himself another smile as he inserted the game.

"I do like Gou, you know?" Haruka said after his character beat Makoto's for the fifth time.

"You do?" Makoto asked, looking towards his friend.

"Yeah, really." He replied, keeping his eyes forward so Makoto wouldn't be able to see the lies. He was only saying this to see him smile and he wasn't even able to appreciate it.

"I'm glad you do, you know. It means a lot to me. You're both so important to me." He admitted, Haruka flushing slightly at the comment.

The pair began another game in silence. Not long after, Makoto began speaking again, breaking Haruka's concentration.

"The three of us should do something tomorrow evening." He said, using Haruka's distraction as a chance to win for the first time.

"I'm not sure." Haruka mumbled. Spending a whole evening with the young lovers was his idea of hell.

"Why not? I barely get to see you anymore." Makoto whined playfully.

I wonder whose fault that is, Haruka thought bitterly, images of Gou flashing through his mind.

"You're seeing me now." He offered instead, but Haruka knew once Makoto had his heart set on an idea he'd find a way to get him to agree.

"Come on Haru-chan, just to see a film or something?" He said, eyes wide and shining with a small pout that could rival Nagisa. Haruka could feel his heart warming slightly at the look.

"Just a film?" He questioned, hesitantly.

"Just a film." Makoto nodded, the look replaced with a smile and Haruka knew he was finished.

"Fine, if we must." He acquiesced with a sigh.

"Thanks Haru." He smiled, swinging an arm around the smaller boy's shoulders, the heat returning to Haruka's cheeks. "Besides, it's better than sitting in the bath all night." He laughed.

"Sure." Haruka mumbled.

Although spending the night with Makoto was something he was looking forward to, knowing that Gou would be there as well did put a dampener on his spirits. Playing third wheel in a dark cinema, he was beginning to regret this decision already.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Zaabeth for going through this chapter for me :) much love!

Haruka sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at his phone as he mindlessly spun it between his thumb and finger. His screen showed Makoto's number, waiting for him to gain the courage to press call. He decided to cancel tonight – he'd actually decided this almost as soon as he'd made the plans, but here he was, an hour before he was due to leave and he had yet to follow through.

He'd avoided the subject all day at school, knowing if he tried to do it face to face he'd end up caving. But yet even now, he was still reluctant. Knowing that even over the phone Makoto had a power over him, he could get him to bend to his whim without even trying.

Haruka pressed the call button and slowly brought the phone to his ear, deciding feigning illness was his best form of attack. It also had the potential to result in a night in with Makoto taking care of him.

"Hi." A high-pitched voice screeched down his ear. Haruka pulled the phone away in shock and glanced towards the screen to confirm he'd called Makoto. "Hello?" The voice repeated as he brought the phone back.

"Gou?" Haruka questioned.

"Hey Haru." She greeted happily. "What can I do for you?"

"Where's Makoto?" He asked, completely skipping her question.

"He's in the bathroom." She explained.

"Right, so about tonight." He began, hoping cancelling with Gou would involve less questioning and guilt tripping.

"It's going to be so much fun Haru! I've got a little surprise for you." She sung down the phone as he winced slightly.

"You do? Does it involve water?" He asked hopefully, he could maybe get through the night if he was promised a dip in the water afterwards, or maybe even the ocean.

"Nope, even better." She gushed to a disbelieving Haruka. There was only one thing in his mind that was better than water and he was currently trapped in Gou's hold.

"Right." He said hesitantly, even more convinced he'd have to skip tonight. "But I…"

"You're not wearing that." Gou shouted suddenly, cutting him off.

"What?" He asked in confusion, looking down at his own outfit that consisted of nothing more than swimming shorts.

"Not you, Mako-chan." She said as he heard faint mutterings from Makoto at the other end. "Because I don't like the blue shirt." She nagged to more mumblings. "The red one I bought for you."

Haruka rolled his eyes at the couple, if Makoto was his boyfriend he wouldn't be bothered what he wore, he could wear anything he wanted, or nothing if he felt so inclined. Haruka wouldn't complain.

"Haru?" She asked, bringing him back to her world. "I'm going to have to hand you over to Makoto, apparently my boyfriend is completely incapable of choosing his own clothes."

"Sure." He responded to the sounds of movement.

"Hello Haru-chan." Makoto said, voice deflated. Haruka's heart broke at the sound.

Did he not see how she affected him? How his usual bright flame always seemed dimmer with her words? How his smile never reached his eyes when she pestered? Was he truly happy with her or did he only think he was?

"Makoto?" He whispered into the phone, the worry clearly lacing his words.

"I'm fine." Makoto said.

"You sound it." Haruka muttered, his friend laughing at his sarcasm.

"I am, I get to see you tonight, how could I not be?" He joked, Haruka's cheeks flushing slightly at his statement.

"Yeah, about that." He begun only to be cut off by Makoto's frustrated sigh.

"Fine, I'll wear the red shirt. I literally don't care." He snapped, Haruka caught between feeling smug and feeling upset. Smug in the knowledge Makoto never snapped at him like that, no matter how difficult he could be at times, but upset that his usually calm and patient best friend was feeling this way.

"Sorry, Haru. You were saying." Makoto said, re-joining the conversation.

"I don't think…" Haruka trailed off. He couldn't cancel on his friend, he couldn't leave him alone with Gou, he couldn't let her take away his light. Makoto needed him. "I can't remember where we're meeting."

"Oh, just outside the cinema at 6." He told him, slightly surprised, knowing Haruka well enough to expect an excuse to opt out.

"Okay, I'll see you then." Haruka said, mentally scolding himself for being so weak.

"Alright." He replied, Haruka practically hearing his smile from through the phone.

"And Makoto?" He asked just before the other had a chance to hang up.

"Yeah?"

"You look good in blue." He whispered in a rushed breath before hanging up the phone, his cheeks blazing as he did, unsure as to why he'd felt the need to tell Makoto that. If he wasn't careful his secret would be out very soon and with it the potential loss of his friendship with Makoto.

…

Anger, fury, regret, humiliation.

Just some of the words currently describing Haruka's mood. He was standing outside the cinema with two other people, however, neither one of them was Makoto. Instead he was with Gou and her friend, who'd been lovingly introduced as Hana-chan. Clearly, this was the surprise Gou was referring to earlier, and while he would admit it was unexpected it was most definitely not appreciated, and now he was part of an awkward double date.

Although, it had never been referred to as such, the other girl apparently had nothing better to do tonight so Gou had invited her along as she was sure he wouldn't mind. Then she gave him another one of her stupid winks, as if there was a secret between them but it seemed Haruka himself wasn't even in on it.

"Here are the tickets." Makoto said, arriving to the group. Haruka's foul mood was forgotten briefly when he realised the other was wearing a blue top, rather than the red his girlfriend had undoubtedly tried to force on him.

"Great." Gou said, snatching the tickets from his hands and turning to Haruka. "We're watching The Conjuring. Hana-chan and I have been dying to see it but we were too scared to go alone."

"And now we have you two to protect us." Chigusa said, lightly nudging Haruka with her shoulder.

"But you hate horror films." Haruka said, turning to Makoto. He barely registered the unexpected contact from the girl.

"You do?" Gou questioned in surprise.

"Well it's not my favourite thing in the word." Makoto admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh, well I guess I'll be the one protecting you." Gou joked, grabbing his other hand and dragging him into the cinema.

"Come on Haruka." Chigusa smiled, following after the couple, Haruka awkwardly falling into line beside her with his hands buried deep in his pockets in case she tried a similar move as Gou.

"Bathroom!" Gou suddenly announced, releasing her hold on Makoto in favour of Chigusa, pulling her in too.

Once they were gone Haruka began eyeing up the doors, wondering how far he could outrun Makoto before he became out of breath and gave up.

"I'm sorry." Makoto said placing his hand on Haruka's shoulder, almost sensing the others need to bolt. "It was all Gou's idea."

Haruka turned towards his friend and gave him a look – a little pre-warning would have been appreciated in this situation. Makoto read the look easily.

"I only found out after our phone call, and Gou was adamant that it remained a surprise." Haruka only frowned in response. "I know you hate surprises but Gou convinced me you'd be happy. Apparently you and Chigusa had a moment the other day and then I was more annoyed that you didn't mention anything to me about it to think about texting you in advance to warn you." Makoto rambled.

Haruka watched the nervous words tumble from his best friend's mouth, feeling his anger disperse. He gently laid a hand on his arm and offered him a small smile, effectively stopping the speech and showing that all was forgiven. He only released the other once they were re-joined by the girls.

…

Haruka's head slouched slightly onto his own shoulder, eyes glazed over in boredom. So far the film had all the elements of a predictable horror movie – ghost attacks, exorcisms, possession. Personally he was finding it particularly dull.

He rolled his eyes as the character on screen found a secret passage in one of the rooms, appearing to have no issues walking straight in, no questions asked. He was just about to slouch further in his seat when there was some unexpected contact, his hand tightly encased in warmth. But it wasn't coming from his right where Chigusa sat, far too engrossed in the film to even pay the slightest bit of attention to her supposed date. Instead it came from his left where Makoto sat, eyes wide with panic and terror, yet still fixed on the screen.

Haruka gently brought his other hand over and placed it on top of Makoto's, silently letting him know he was there and he had nothing to fear. Although Makoto's expression never changed and his eyes never moved, Haruka could sense the slight relief radiating off his friend. However, the moment was short lived. Soon there was a spirit on the screen and Haruka found himself nearly pinned to his chair by Makoto's panicked attempt to hide.

Gou looked over to the boys in amusement, offering a quick mouthed apology at her boyfriend's behaviour. Haruka just shrugged in response as he felt Makoto burying his head deeper into his neck at the sounds of the girl's screams.

He found he no longer cared about how boring the film was, or how foreseeable the general storyline was, or even how fake the acting seemed. Instead all he cared about was the tingle he felt from Makoto's gentle breath fanning against his skin.

…

Haruka's eyes scanned the menu currently in his hand, silently fuming that he'd been dragged to dinner tonight as well. He was currently alone with Makoto at the table, their legs so close to touching he could feel the heat. A small part of him wanted to vent his anger, drag the latter out of there so they could go home, but instead he found himself imagining a world where this was real.

A couple out together for dinner, not caring as others stared at them, whispering secrets in each other's ears, laughing too loudly as they enjoyed the other's company, far too wrapped up in each other. He imagined Makoto leaning into him, gently brushing aside a few stray hairs and peppering his neck with kisses, slowly upwards towards his ear. Once he had reached his destination he'd gently bite down on Haruka's ear lobe and whisper all the things he wanted to do to him but that would have to wait until they were alone.

"Look Haru, they have mackerel." Makoto said, leaning towards his friend and placing a hand on his thigh.

Haruka, still wrapped up in his fantasy, forgot himself and allowed a needy moan to escape his lips. Makoto quickly pulled back his hand, stuttering over a jumble of incoherent words, while Haruka busied himself with the menu trying to hide his blush, unbeknownst to him the other doing exactly the same.

"Chigusa!" Makoto called out, breaking the silence that had fallen on the pair after Haruka's accidental moan. "Why don't you sit next to Haru-chan?" He asked, jumping up far too quickly and moving to the other side of the table.

Ready to tell him to drop the chan he was soon cut off by the feel of Chigusa sitting far too close to him, her arm lightly brushing against his own, her overly flowery perfume assaulting his nose. He had to resist the urge to recoil away from her knowing he'd just get nagged by Makoto if he did.

The rest of the time went fine. They managed to order and then the three chatted happily while Haruka offered the occasional nod of agreement. It seemed to be going without a hitch until their dinner arrived.

The sight of the mackerel reminded Makoto of that earlier moment. His blush returned, and once again he was flustering through his words. His hands shook slightly, clumsily spilling salt across the table. Gou was quick to help him.

While the other couple was distracted, Chigusa decided it was the time to make her move. Haruka's eyes widened slightly as his chopsticks clattered to the table. She had placed a hand on his thigh, too high up for any comfort, and instead of eliciting the same response as Makoto's, it only caused him alarm.

His panicked eyes looked towards his best friend, hoping he'd provide some form of help, but he didn't come through for him. Instead, Makoto gave him a small, sad smile before letting his gaze drop to his food.

Haruka's eyebrows shot up in confusion. He knew that smile. He'd perfected that smile. It was the same smile he gave Makoto every time he talked about Gou, every time he kissed Gou, every time he was with Gou. Why would Makoto be giving him that smile?

Before he had a chance to question it further he felt the hand slowly rising up his leg. He needed to get out, to get some form of aid. Using his free leg he quickly kicked out, hitting Makoto under the table.

"Ah!" Makoto yelped, successfully creating a diversion and stopping the trailing hand.

"Sorry, big feet." Haruka fake-apologised, shuffling uncomfortably in his chair.

"You know what they say about men with big feet?" Chigusa whispered, bringing her hand away from his thigh and up to his chest.

"He must have big shoes." Makoto grumbled, glaring angrily at the couple.

Gou giggled slightly at Makoto's response while Haruka felt his heart fluttering at the behaviour. He seemed to be displaying similar mannerism to himself when he was forced to spend time with Gou and Makoto.

He no longer cared about the failed attempts at getting him interested from Chigusa. The thought alone that Makoto could potentially be jealous managed to get him through the rest of the meal.

…

The foursome walked down the street, Haruka's arms tightly folded across his chest to avoid Chigusa making another grab for his swaying hand. Makoto and Gou, walking slightly ahead, glanced over their shoulders at the possible new couple, Gou offering a disappointed look at the lack of contact while Makoto seeming rather relieved. Haruka's heart did summersaults again at his expression.

He slowed his pace and turned towards the stairs leading towards his home, only to freeze when a hand lightly gripped his tricep.

"Aren't you going to walk me home?" Chigusa's voice whined, Haruka turning back towards the girl with a confused expression.

"But I live here." He explained. Why would he walk for an extra mile only to have to turn back the other way?

"Oh okay." She said quietly, letting her gaze drop to the floor. "I had fun tonight."

Rather than lie Haruka offered no words in return and continued his journey, listening as the voices of the two girls became distant whispers.

Letting himself into his house he sighed at the darkness, another lonely night in ahead of him. He jumped slightly when he noticed an arm coming though his door frame, preventing him from shutting it. He watched as it was forced open and Makoto stepped through, his body filling the frame.

"That was rude Haru." He scolded, crossing his arms at the smaller boy.

"I didn't think you'd be bothered." Haruka shrugged.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He questioned, Haruka only rewarding him with a look, letting him know his behaviour tonight hadn't gone unnoticed.

Makoto's cheeks flared as he flustered, his arms dropping back to his side in embarrassment.

"Well, that was… I… You didn't…" He stuttered, failing to complete a sentence. "That still doesn't mean you should let a girl walk home alone at night." He said, finally finding his feet.

"Look, I said I'd be civil to Gou, not all her little followers."

"What do you mean be civil? You told me you liked Gou." He accused.

"You're just splitting hairs." He huffed, hoping for a subject change.

"Do you actually like her?" Makoto asked, Haruka wincing as he noticed the crack in his voice.

"You know I do." He muttered.

"Look me in the eye and say that." He challenged, Haruka's gaze never raising from the floor. "I knew it! I knew you were lying to me."

"What do you want from me?" Haruka groaned. He'd tried but Makoto didn't seem to appreciate that.

"I wanted the truth! You're my best friend!" He exclaimed, stunning Haruka to silence. "I wouldn't have cared if you hated Gou, if anything I would have expected it from you. All I wanted was for you to be honest with me. But it seems like I can't even get that."

Frustrated, Makoto ran his fingers though his hair before turning on his heels, Haruka watching helplessly as he headed back out the door.

"Makoto, where are you going?" He asked desperately.

"I'm walking Chigusa home, because clearly you aren't going to do it." He shouted, pulling the door shut behind him.

Haruka stood in his hall, staring at the now closed door, his hands clenched at his side. Half of him wanting to run down the steps and hold Makoto until everything was alright between them, the other half stubbornly wanting to wait for Makoto to come back to him as he always did.

He and Makoto had never fought like this. Over the years they'd had small disagreements, but they'd usually be forgotten within a matter of minutes. But this time it seemed far more serious. The way Makoto walked away seemed definitive, as if he'd finally grown tired of this friendship, the burden becoming too much causing him to cast it aside.

And although he knew he was to blame Haruka couldn't stop himself attributing some of this to Gou. She insisted they try, insisted on forcing her friend on him, insisted they kept it all a little secret. If he'd just been open from the beginning then everything would have been fine, he wouldn't have potentially lost someone he loved so dearly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thanks to Zaabeth for going through it with a fine toothed comb and making it perfect for me!

Haruka trudged towards school, hair still dripping wet from his bath that overran this morning. He was used to being woken by at least a text from Makoto if the real thing was with Gou, but this morning he'd overslept and his whole routine was running behind.

He and Makoto hadn't spoken again since that night. He'd wanted to see him but yet never brought himself to do it. He'd analysed the night over and over, every look Makoto had sent his way, every subtle touch, every smile, every laugh, every bristle at Chigusa's flirting, every glare he shot at her. And every time he reached the same conclusion.

Makoto had been jealous.

He never believed that Makoto would be the type to get jealous, especially over him, but he had definitely witnessed that night. He'd remembered his Grandma once telling him that even the most docile of men can become possessive if his hold on someone special is threatened. But why should Haruka's relationships bother him? He hadn't even batted an eyelid when their waiter had shamelessly flirted with Gou and yet every slight glance from Chigusa had riled him up completely.

But due to their sudden distance after the double date he hadn't had a chance to talk about it, not that he really knew what he'd ask without sounding strange. Questioning your best friend's jealousy was hardly normal.

A loud bell broke him out of his thoughts, a slight sigh escaping his lips as he stepped through the gates, realising he was officially late.

Eventually he arrived at his classroom, all eyes travelling towards him in the doorway, questioning why he was late and why he wasn't with Makoto, who was already in his seat, the only pair of eyes not looking his way.

"Nice of you to join us Nanase-kun." His teacher muttered, quickly turning back towards the paper on her desk.

Without offering an apology for his lateness he walked towards his seat, hoping that he'd catch his friend's eye as he went. But even when he deliberately made a scene of pulling his chair out Makoto hadn't even flinched.

He tried to tune out the other voices in his class but the whispers reached his ears anyway, little snide comments about the lover's quarrel between them, part of him knowing Makoto would be able to hear them as well. Over the years there'd been quite a few rumours about the pair, about their questionable relationship. Most thought they were too close, but it had never bothered them. Makoto had just laughed it off before, but today that didn't seem to be the case. Today, his eyes were set forward, a slight scowl on his face as a blush rose to his cheeks. Today, the jokes he usually brushed off seemed to be affecting him, embarrassing him.

He sat and watched the taller boy, knowing Makoto would be able to feel his eyes on him, but he didn't acknowledge it like usual. He didn't look up from his book and offer him the smile that brightened his day. Haruka knew Makoto wasn't reading, he could tell just by looking at his eyes, those green orbs didn't excitedly flutter across the page as usual, they hardly moved.

Haruka wanted to reach over to him, communicate with him in some way, but he couldn't find his voice, he was almost scared to talk to him and he hated that feeling. He was his best friend, the person to whom he could be himself in a way nobody else would understand. And yet here he was, swallowing back his words.

Makoto continued to give him the cold shoulder, never once letting his attention drift towards Haruka despite how close their chairs were, eyes constantly burning holes into his book. At least until the bell rung and Makoto practically jumped to his feet to run from the class, seeming overly excited to get to his next lesson. A lesson he didn't share with Haruka.

Haruka slowly rose to his own feet, watching the door that his best friend had recently departed out of, ignoring the jostling group of boys making their way past.

"Trouble in paradise Nanase?" They jeered, only laughing further when he shot a cold glare in their direction.

With a groan he threw his bag onto his shoulder before departing the room, hoping he'd see Makoto at lunch and this whole thing would be forgotten.

…

"Haru!" A voice called out as he walked down the crowded school corridors. He had to suppress the urge to grimace at the sound of Gou's shrill call.

Usually when his name was called out it would be Makoto, Haruka would find himself subconsciously slowing down until the other was by his side, offering him some anecdote about his last class. But he didn't slow down for Gou, instead he continued on his journey, hoping to slip into his next lesson before she arrived.

Suddenly, he felt an arm loop around his own, indicating Gou was here with him, her grip tight.

"Hana-chan was talking about you." She smirked, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at him.

"Really?" He asked uninterested. Part of him wanted to pull away from her and completely ignore her presence but after his disaster the other night he didn't want to upset Makoto further. He wanted to at least try with Gou.

"Yeah, she'd love to do something again with you." She gushed, excitement filling her voice.

"We'll see." He said, not really wanting to commit to another double date, even with the potential of seeing Makoto jealous again.

"It will have to be next week though." She explained. "Completely booked this week."

Haruka felt her looking up at him expectantly. He knew that she wanted him to question what kept her so busy. Despite what most people thought he didn't lack the basics of social finesse, he just chose to ignore them.

"Why?" He hesitantly asked, watching the smile spread across her cheeks.

"Well, Rin's got some time off from school, study leave or something like that, and Mum's insisting he comes home so he'll be here tomorrow. Mum wanted him home tonight but apparently he has important things he has to do before he gets here. Personally I just think he doesn't want to leave Nitori. He's so used to being with him he probably wouldn't be able to sleep without him in the same room." Gou laughed, Haruka's eyes widening as she continued to rattle off information to him at an alarming speed. "But, as of tomorrow, every night becomes a family fun night, meaning no dates for us all again but it does mean I can spend time with my Onee-san."

"Sounds fun." He managed to slip in before she talked further.

"Yeah, but it does mean that I can't really see much of Mako-chan." She pouted.

"Can't he join you?" He asked bitterly, images of Makoto being dragged into the Matsuoka family assaulting his mind.

"Not exactly." She bit her lip slightly. Haruka, being very good at reading people, could see the guilt flash across her eyes.

"Why?" His interest slightly peaked.

"I haven't exactly told Rin about me and Makoto." She admitted.

"Why not?" He questioned, his feet drawing to a halt, forcing Gou to stop too.

"You know what he can be like. He's so protective of me I'm worried he'd threaten poor Makoto and scare him away. I'm going to try easing him into it before just dropping the bombshell."

"Don't you think he'll be worse when he finds out you've been lying to him?" He winced slightly, an angry Rin was not something he wanted after Makoto.

"We'll worry about that if we get there." She shrugged. "Oh yikes, I'm going to be late." She offered a quick goodbye before rushing to her class.

Haruka slowly journeyed towards his own classroom alone, thinking about what Gou had told him. Did Makoto know that their relationship was a secret? That she was so uncertain about his commitment that she couldn't tell her own brother? He knew he wouldn't know. Gou was beginning to show how secretive she could be, and he didn't doubt that Makoto wouldn't be an exception.

…

It wasn't better at lunch. Makoto continued to ignore him, only focusing on his lunch and not the others around him. Even though Haruka nudged him gently against his knee, his stomach rumbled loud enough for everyone to hear but he never got permission to share.

"Mako-chan!" Nagisa shouted, running onto the roof, dragging Rei behind him.

"Yes?" He asked, head turning towards the door with a fake smile, Haruka noticing it straight away.

"When do your parents go on holiday?" He asked, dropping to his knees next to him.

Haruka turned towards the conversation, vaguely remembering a mention of Makoto's parents taking the twins on a trip, Makoto refusing to join in case he missed important school work. At the time Haruka had known he'd been lying, his real reason for staying was to look after him. But if it continued like this he didn't imagine he'd get much looking after.

"They're probably on their way now." He shrugged, staring down at the food that he struggled to finish alone.

"Perfect!" Nagisa exclaimed, shaking the older boy's arm.

"Why?" Makoto questioned, slightly confused.

"Because we're going to have a sleepover at your place." He stated. "Maybe we should set up tents in the living room so it will be like we're camping."

"We can't, it's a school night." Rei reminded him but it didn't damper the excitement.

"He has no parents so it's fine." Nagisa said, waving off the problem. "So, what do you say Mako-chan?"

He turned towards him and provided him with the full force of his begging eyes. Haruka and Rei just watched as Makoto's walls slowly crumbled down.

"Sure, you can all stay." He caved, offering the group his warm smile.

"You coming too Haruka-senpai?" Rei asked, bringing him into the conversation for the first time.

Makoto turned towards him and gave him a quick nod, going unnoticed by the younger boys. He turned towards Rei and gave him a nod of his own.

"Great!" Nagisa smiled, excitedly chatting about the evening to Rei.

Haruka felt a light pressure on his knee where Makoto had placed the lunch box, an apologetic smile on the taller boy's lips silently telling him that everything was alright with them again. He felt a small smile tug at his own as his gaze dropped down to his lunch and begun hungrily eating the lunch lovingly prepared that morning, his ears tuning out Nagisa further.

…

"Nagisa! That's cheating!" Rei called, keeping his eyes fixed on the screen while also trying to fight off the blond demon.

They'd been playing video games in Makoto's living room and as soon as it seemed like Rei would beat him Nagisa had decided to physically throw himself against the other, almost forcing him to the ground.

"I'm not doing anything." He protested, pushing his weight onto him further. "I just want to be close to my Rei-chan."

The words caused the boy to blush and become flustered, quickly falling forward against the floor, bringing Nagisa crashing down on top of him. In his current position, Rei's hands were trapped under his chest, while Nagisa could still move freely and soon began to turn the game around.

"Get off me!" Rei cried out, squirming beneath the other.

"I can't! We're like magnets never to be separated." He purred into the taller boy's ear, only deepening the blush on his cheeks.

Haruka rolled his eyes slightly and gracefully pushed himself to his feet, he walked into the kitchen, leaving the now play-fighting boys in hopes of finding Makoto.

"Hello Haru-chan." Makoto said cheerfully, not once looking up from the food he was preparing for his friends.

"Drop the chan." He muttered, knowing it fell on deaf ears. He walked over to his friend and leaned against the stone counter top.

He knew that everything had been forgotten, that the past few days had never happened. Makoto had happily chatted to him on the way home as if he had never ignored him in the first place, but Haruka wasn't sure it was enough. For the first time in his life he wanted to talk it through, find out what had really bothered Makoto that night.

"I'm sorry." He suddenly announced, causing Makoto to drop the knife he was holding in surprise.

"Damn." Makoto muttered, bringing his now bleeding finger to his mouth. "You don't have anything to apologise for."

"I do." Haruka said, feeling his throat go dry as he watched Makoto's lips delicately sucking on his own finger. How many times had he imagined himself in a similar position?

"You don't. I know you don't like Gou or Chigusa, and I shouldn't have forced you to come out with us. If anything I'm the one who should be sorry." He smiled as Haruka rolled his eyes. How typical of Makoto to take the blame for something that was clearly not his fault.

"Why were you jealous?" He asked bluntly, never letting his eyes meet the other's. He knew if he did he would have to fight off a blush.

"I wasn't jealous." Makoto protested immediately, nervously tugging the hair at the base of his neck. A sign that told Haruka he was lying. "I was just a little shocked, that's all. I wasn't used to seeing you like that with someone who isn't… another person."

"I don't like her." Haruka pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I know, I could tell." He laughed slightly, smiling widely at him. "I keep telling Gou that but she's still trying to arrange another outing next week."

"Great." He muttered, thoughts of his conversation with Gou from earlier. "I'm surprised she's not doing something this week."

"She can't." He shrugged, going back to his cooking.

"Why not?" He probed.

"Family stuff or something, she was pretty vague." Makoto admitted, dropping his cut up vegetables into the simmering pot.

"I have to go for a walk." Haruka growled, his fists clenching at his sides. The realisation that Gou was lying to Makoto hitting him at full force.

"What? Now?" Makoto called after him, but he didn't stop until he was on the street, never once answering his questions.

…

His walk had turned into a jog, his anger towards Gou growing with every foot on the ground. How dare she lie to Makoto? Sweet, gentle Makoto who wouldn't question anything she told him, just believe all the words she said. She took his trusting nature and was using it against him.

He hadn't realised where his feet were taking him until he saw the familiar arc of Samezuka Academy coming into view. He was here to see Rin, tell him the truth, release Makoto from the web of lies Gou had weaved.

Once his fist hit against the door of Rin's dorm he realised he didn't know where to go from here, he hadn't prepared what he wanted to say.

"Haruka?" Nitori asked once he opened the door. "What are you doing here?" He smiled warmly, opening the door widely as if to invite him in.

"Is Rin here?" He questioned, nervously glancing at the empty room behind him.

"No, he's getting some things before he goes home." He explained. "You're more than welcome to wait for him."

"No." He shook his head, beginning to lose his nerve.

"Can I take a message?" Nitori offered helpfully.

"Yes." Haruka nodded slowly, Nitori looking at him expectantly.

"And that is?" He tilted his head slightly.

"Makoto and Gou are dating." He said in a rushed breath before turning to leave. "You found that out from someone else." He shouted.

"Sure." Nitori said in confusion, watching as the taller boy stumbled away from him down the corridor.

He felt guilt wrack through his body, knowing that once Rin found out he'd come after Makoto. By telling him Haruka had essentially put out a death note on his best friend. Although he'd told Nitori to keep his name out of it, the boy had more loyalty to Rin than himself. If he asked where this mysterious information came from he was bound to be told.

As he made his way back to Makoto's house he wondered whether he should warn his friend, let him know that his anger had got the better of him and he'd interfered. But he knew he wouldn't, he knew he'd act like his walk hadn't happened and just make the most of his time with Makoto. Before Rin got to him.

…

"What's that?" Makoto's hoarse voice called out, waking Haruka up fully, the constant ringing at the door had first roused him from sleep.

"Isn't it your doorbell?" He replied tiredly, he'd gotten very little sleep last night thanks to the guilt from telling Rin, and the constant giggling from the other tent didn't help either.

"Why? It's so early." He mumbled, pushing himself up into a seated position.

Makoto began crawling out of the tent, climbing over Haruka as he went. Through the course of the night Haruka had ended up in front of exit. If he reached up to grab his waist he could hold Makoto in place, maybe even lift his lips up the brunette's and finally make a reality something he'd only imagined for months. But it was early in the morning and his reflexes weren't quick enough to act on his thoughts. And by the time he had even processed any of this Makoto was already leaving the tent.

He listened to his friend moving around outside, a string of profanities leaving his lips as he stubbed his toe against the sofa and fell to the ground. With a roll of his eyes, Haruka soon exited the tent and silently made his way towards the door for Makoto.

"Rin?" He asked in surprise when he noticed the person on the other side.

"Where is he?" He growled, pushing past Haruka and letting himself into the house.

"Rin? What are you doing here?" Makoto smiled, joining the two boys in the hall.

Haruka's gaze flicked nervously between Rin and Makoto, knowing that smile wouldn't last much longer.

"I came to talk to you." Rin said, his voice dangerously low.

Haruka made his way over to the pair, standing near to Makoto and ready to defend him if need be. He could already feel the guilt coming back to him.

"About what Rin?" Makoto asked, nervously reaching out for hem of Haruka's shirt. He could obviously sense Rin's tone and knew he was not happy.

"About you and my little sister." He crossed his arms and rose an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, you found out about that." He said, side stepping so he was stood behind Haruka now. Despite towering over him Makoto still used him as a shield when he felt threatened.

"Yeah, I found out." He sneered. "Now I don't like being lied to and I don't like some guy dating Gou. But you're not just some guy Tachibana, you're a good guy." He said sighing slightly, letting his eyes flutter closed. "And if my little sister has to date some big, burly guy from Iwatobi, I'm glad it's you."

"What?" Makoto asked, moving out from his hiding place.

"I know you'll treat her right." He said, a rare smile gracing his lips, a slight hint of a threat laced his words.

"Of course I will." He nodded, Haruka hearing his nervous swallow echo off the walls.

"That's all I really wanted to say to you." Rin nervously rubbed the back of his neck, turning towards the door.

"Wait! Rin!" Makoto reached out and grabbed his arm. "At least stay for some breakfast."

"As long as Haru isn't cooking mackerel I'm up for that." He joked.

"Don't worry, I'll make it." Makoto laughed, swinging his arm around the red haired boy's neck and leading him towards the kitchen.

Haruka watched as the two of them left the hallway, without once glancing back at him, joking among themselves. He tried desperately to ignore the feeling of disappointment within his chest. Rin approved of his best friend's relationship, he should feel relieved. But he didn't. Instead he felt annoyance bubbling up inside him as he crawled back into his tent, trying to block out the voices from the kitchen as he attempted to fall back to sleep.

What was he hoping to achieve by telling Rin? That he would forbid Makoto from seeing Gou anymore? He should have known nobody would split the couple apart, once they looked into Makoto's soft green eyes they caved, let him get whatever he wanted.

With the one possible obstacle in their relationship removed Haruka felt like he'd lost, Makoto had slipped completely out of his grasp and there was no way to possibly get him back, no matter how hard he tried, and he had tried every angle. Why couldn't he just be happy for his friend? If he truly loved him shouldn't he let him go?

But he knew he would never let him go, until his dying breath he would continue to fight for Makoto, because as his Grandmother had said, even the most docile of men can become possessive if his hold on someone special is threatened, and Haruka was no exception.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Zaabeth, not sure what I would do without you :)

Haruka kept his gaze forward, never once letting his eyes drift to his right. He could practically feel the heat radiating off his best friend, stood far too close to him, gently pulling down his jammers without any shame.

He shook his head slightly, why should Makoto feel any shame? They'd changed together countless times. This was nothing special. Yet, Haruka always felt flustered in these moments, never glancing the other way for fear he'd be unable to control his own actions.

He kept his eyes set ahead, staring into the wall in front of him, taking deep breaths as his mind raced, his body begging to react to the naked form next to him but forced to remain calm.

"Ah!" Haruka yelped as he felt a towel whip against his lower back, quickly spinning around to see the culprit standing with a smug grin on his lips.

"Welcome back." Makoto laughed, throwing the towel on the other boy's head.

"What are you talking about?" He questioned, pulling the towel away from his eyes. He let out a silent sigh of relief when he noticed a pair of school trouser hanging lightly off his friend's hips.

"You zoned out on us." Makoto shrugged. "Took so long Rei and Nagisa got tired of waiting."

Haruka did a quick scan of the room, noticing for the first time they were alone, his focus having originally been on the beauty next to him. He turned back towards Makoto questioningly. On Friday afternoons Nagisa usually enjoyed team time.

"They had somewhere to go." Makoto explained, gently rubbing Haruka's hair through the towel to dry the remaining water.

Haruka let his eyes flutter shut as he felt fingers softly massaging his scalp, the gentle breathing against his back soothing him.

"Come on, you need to at least change so we can get out of here." Makoto half-heartedly scolded, pulling the towel away. "Not sure why I'm in such a rush to get back to an empty house though." He mumbled, throwing his shirt over his head.

"I can come around." Haruka offered, knowing how he hated to be alone.

"You don't have to." He smiled, relieving Haruka of any obligations. "Gou's coming over."

"Oh." He responded, hands frozen by his hips as he clutched at his trousers. "Isn't she busy?"

"Apparently not, Rin's letting her escape for the weekend." Makoto explained, casually sitting down on the bench in front the other.

"I see." Haruka muttered, buckling his belt, turning his back towards his friend.

"Haru? What's wrong?" Makoto asked, the bench creaking as he stood once again.

"Nothing." He sulked, pulling his shirt on.

"Don't lie, I know you better than that." He laughed, moving around the other so he was stood in front of him

Haruka's gaze remained on the ground, finding particular interest in Makoto's shoes, too scared to let the other see his face. Knowing he'd be able to read him like a book, Makoto would be able to tell that Haruka felt he'd been cast aside. That he missed the friendship he used to share with him.

Suddenly he felt a hand on his chin, roughly pulling his face upwards, Haruka refused to let his eyes reach Makoto's, frantically looking in opposite directions.

"Haru." Makoto warned, giving the other a light squeeze on the chin.

With a reluctant sigh Haruka looked into Makoto's sparkling green eyes and gave him a look, a look that said he was tired of being second best, that said he was there for Makoto before Gou and yet now he was being treated like he was unimportant, that said he missed his friend.

"I'm sorry Haru." Makoto said, releasing his hold on his friend. "I guess I have been neglecting you a bit."

Haruka tried to shrug casually but knew his eyes betrayed him, his true feelings bare.

"Why don't you come over tonight?" Makoto asked, offering Haruka a gentle smile.

"No." Haruka declined far harsher than he would have liked, but he couldn't be around Gou for a whole evening. The girl drove him insane.

"Just the two of us." He reassured with a smile.

Haruka slowly buttoned up his shirt before he answered, not wanting to come across too eager even as he mentally scolded himself. This was his best friend, he wouldn't judge him.

"If you think Gou won't mind." He eventually said, praying that his words wouldn't cause the other to back out.

"It will be fine." He laughed, lightly clapping the other on the back.

Haruka allowed himself a small smile as he felt a blush rise to his cheeks. Luckily the other didn't notice. Instead Makoto reached down for his bag, gesturing with his head that it was time to leave, Haruka happily following after him. A small part of him constantly aware of the hand swinging not too far from his own, wanting to reach out for it and take hold.

…

After depositing his school bag at home and quickly changing, Haruka stood awkwardly on the Tachibana doorstep, knowing he'd essentially forced his friend into inviting him here when he'd much rather be with his girlfriend.

Slowly he reached his hand up and opened the door, quietly letting himself into the house and walking through the long corridors. Haruka always thought it was slightly unnerving when the house was this silent, always used to the sounds of Makoto's dad shouting at whatever sport he was currently watching on TV, his mum singing in the kitchen, or the twins squabbling with Makoto acting as mediator.

He entered his friend's room to see the boy sprawled out across his bed, shirt unbuttoned from where he'd started to get undressed, mouth hanging open as gentle snores escaped.

With a fond smile Haruka walked over to the bed, gently sitting down so as to not wake his friend. He stretched out his hand and placed it on Makoto's head, tenderly stroking the soft brunette mane.

"Haru." The sleeping boy moaned, nuzzling his head into the affectionate touch.

Haruka quickly pulled his hand away, heat spreading through his body at the thought of his own face plaguing Makoto's dreams.

Pouting slightly, Makoto's eyes began to flutter open, his hands sleepily trying to regain the warmth he'd just felt.

"Haru?" He whispered, cautiously reaching out for his friend.

"I'm here." He managed to stutter back as a hand rested on his chest.

"Yeah you are." He smiled, before the last of his sleep induced confusion evaporated and he realised their position was compromising.

"You get dressed and I'll meet you downstairs." Haruka said, forcing himself to move from the bed, knowing that risking a few moments longer would have him battling against his wavering control.

"Yeah, sure." Makoto mumbled, lazily rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Haruka ran from the room and pounded down the stairs, never once slowing until he was sitting on the sofa. He took deep breaths as he tried to focus his mind on anything but the drowsy boy reaching out for him and calling his name in his sleep.

…

Haruka's eyes glazed over as he stared at the screen in front of him. They'd been in these same positions for hours now, Makoto on the floor with his back against the sofa, Haruka laying across its cushions, only moving for water or the bathroom.

They were currently watching an action film about some British spy, who, Haruka noticed, spent more time bedding women than he actually did working, but Makoto didn't seem to mind. He was mesmerised by what was on screen, which appeared to be just a steamy hot tub scene.

He glanced towards the brunette, whose head was tilted slightly to one side, with a bite of his lip. He wondered if Makoto and Gou had shared moments like that. He knew their relationship had passed the stage of simple kisses and cuddles but how far had the couple gone?

Part of him wanted to know, he was curious to know what experiences his friend had had without him, but a smaller part of him feared the response he would receive.

"Makoto?" His voice called out, eyes fixed forward on the screen.

"Yes?" He questioned, the sound of ruffling indicating he'd turned to look at the other.

"Have you and Gou had sex?" He asked bluntly, turning towards the other just in time to see him fluster.

"No." He blushed. "We've done other stuff but she's not ready for that yet and I respect that. She's younger after all."

Haruka had to bite his tongue to stop the words she's too young for you from tumbling from his lips. He knew he wouldn't get very far making snide, petty comments about his girlfriend. Instead chose to just huff in acknowledgement of Makoto's statement before putting his focus back on the TV.

The pair sat in silence until it started to veer towards the realms of awkward. Although he hadn't voiced anything out loud, Makoto could tell Haruka wasn't happy just by the atmosphere. Hoping to remedy the situation, Makoto called out the first thing that arrived in his mind to end the quiet.

"The twins will be upset they missed you." He shot the boy on the sofa a smile, knowing that whatever mood Haruka was in the mention of his younger siblings would bring him out of it. No matter how he would protest, he loved the pair dearly, almost as if they were his own family.

"Understandable." Haruka stated, turning to look at his friend once again.

"How so?" Makoto questioned.

"I'm better than their own big brother." He commented, eyes flashing mischievously.

"Hey!" Makoto called out, the other just shrugged in response. "So rude!"

He swung his arm out, successfully knocking Haruka off the sofa, landing with a thud on the floor. He looked up with indignant eyes, Makoto just smirking down at him as he lay there.

"So rude." Haruka echoed before pushing himself off the floor and onto the other boy. He leant his weight against Makoto, trying with all his strength to push him to the ground, but the boy was far too solid.

"Haru." Makoto laughed with a mocking shake of the head.

Taking hold of each of his hands, Makoto effortlessly pushed Haruka until he was lying flat on his back, hands held either side of his head, the brunette hovering above him.

"Give up?" Makoto teased, gently squeezing the hands he had hold of.

"Never." Haruka groaned, constantly fighting against his restraints with a blush on his cheeks.

Makoto laughed as he watched Haruka's continual struggle, the smaller of the two refusing to admit defeat. Bringing his leg up he gently stroked Makoto's thigh with his own, momentarily distracting the other and giving him the chance to gain the position of power.

He pushed until Makoto was the one lying on the floor, Haruka kneeling over him, not taking into account the wooden flooring when he'd moved and soon found his legs sliding out from under him.

He closed his eyes tightly as he tumbled, Makoto letting out a puff of air as their chests collided. Slowly, he opened his eyes, finding himself staring into deep, emerald green eyes. He gasped slightly at how close they were, he could feel Makoto's breath fanning against his cheeks.

Haruka felt his eyes slowly flickering closed again, his face leaning down slightly, his lips lightly pressing against his friends. His body taking control of the situation before his rational mind could stop it.

He remembered his Grandma once telling him that if you ever wanted to know how much someone loved you then you could tell by their kiss, it allowed all their emotions to be free. Haruka wondered if Makoto could understand what he was telling him, if he could understand that he'd dreamed of this moment, if he could understand how much he truly loved him.

When he felt the lips beneath his own began to respond he found himself spinning back to reality, he was kissing his best friend, his best friend who also had a girlfriend. He abruptly pulled back, eyes wide with apology as he didn't trust his voice right now. He expected Makoto to be angry, or at least confused, but instead he just looked flushed, his familiar smile still gracing his lips.

"It's fine Haru." He gently cupped the other boy's face and brought it back down to reach his own, Haruka moaned loudly when he felt Makoto softly catching his bottom lip.

He felt himself pulling back again, burying his head in Makoto's strong shoulders embarrassed. Although he'd been waiting for his chance to touch Makoto so intimately, he felt there was more that needed to be said, he needed to clarify that this wasn't fake, that the feelings between them were real.

"You mean a lot to me." He whispered into his neck, lightly placing a kiss there. "You're the only person who has never left me."

"And I never will." Makoto replied, Haruka feeling the vibrations from his throat. "You mean a lot to me too."

Haruka found his lips against Makoto's once again and this time allowed himself to enjoy the moment, allowed his hands to explore the perfect body underneath him, allowed his tongue to lightly trace the soft lips against his own, allowed a moan to escape from him as their tongues danced.

The moment was even better than he'd dreamed it would be, they fit together perfectly, as if they were two puzzle pieces waiting for the other to complete them. He felt like he was floating, as if nothing but Makoto's strong hold just below his hips kept him tethered.

The shrill cry of Makoto's phone broke the pair apart, their breathing heavy, Haruka's eyes travelling towards the noise.

"Ignore it." Makoto instructed, pulling the phone from his pocket and flipping it to silent, despite the name Gou flashing on its screen.

He thread his fingers through his black hair and quickly joined their lips again, neither wanting to be separate again.

Haruka felt Makoto shift under him, moving his legs and bending them slightly so that Haruka slipped into the newly created space. Their hips pressed firmly against each other, both feeling the effect these kisses were having.

Haruka ground into him, loving the sinful friction he created with this simple movement, never stopping as they continued to kiss each other feverously.

"Haru." Makoto groaned, causing the boy to buck his hips excitedly as the voice reached his ears, the voice sounding even more sensual than in his dreams.

Makoto let his hand slip between them, gently palming Haruka's growing bulge, a desperate moan escaping his lips at the new sensation.

Makoto pulled back with a smirk, trying to catch his breath. Haruka quickly attached his lips to Makoto's neck, missing his warmth already. Makoto sighed in happiness as he felt the kisses slowly trailing lower, Haruka's hands quickly unbuttoning his shirt as he went, exposing new skin.

Once he reached his hip bone Haruka gently sucked and nipped until a small mark was left behind, his hands fumbling against Makoto's belt as he did so, his nerves beginning to get to him.

It suddenly hit him that he was far less experienced than Makoto, this was the first time he'd ever been with anyone beyond the realms of friendship, but he was glad it was with Makoto. He felt safe.

He slowly pulled down Makoto's boxer, allowing his hard member to be free, he let out a small gasp as he finally saw what he'd been denying himself for weeks in the showers or changing rooms.

Makoto moaned as he felt cold breath against his hot skin, almost begging to be touched. His body went rigid as he felt a wet, warmth enveloping him, glancing down to see Haruka slowly taking him inside his mouth, caressing him with his tongue.

"Haru, you don't have…" His sentence died on his lips as he felt a strong sucking motion, his eyes immediately drawn to the flop of jet black hair pooling between his thighs. His childhood friend, who'd once kissed his scraped knee on the playground at the tender age of 6, was now causing his hips to buck, his breath to shorten and his heart to beat erratically.

Nerves had begun to set in slightly at the sound of Makoto's protest, was he not doing well? Did he want him to stop? But the moans filling the otherwise quiet room and the hand tightly gripping at his hair told him differently.

"Not like this." Makoto managed to get out, gently pushing the other away from him.

Haruka's eyes widened with protest, he wanted more, he wanted to claim Makoto. He gently fought against his restraints, making no effort to mask his thoughts, Makoto reading him easily. He gently moved the pair so they were kneeling in front of each other, hair both ruffled, clothes both dishevelled, lips both swollen.

"Can we…" Makoto trailed off, embarrassed and looking to the floor, making it impossible for Haruka to read him.

Slowly three fingers were raised, stopping close to Haruka's lips, Makoto being too afraid to question further what was happening, and where the pair were willing to stop. Understanding what Makoto was asking for he greedily took the awaiting fingers in his mouth, coating them with a thin layer of saliva.

Makoto pulled his fingers away and brought his hand down to his already exposed lower half, only for Haruka to grab his wrist, stopping him with a stern look. Having Makoto inside his mouth was the greatest feeling he'd experienced, he needed him inside him again or he'd be driven insane.

He spoke with his eyes, not being able to form the words 'I want you inside me', Makoto's cheeks flushing as he understood Haruka's meaning. He swiftly reached for his own trouser, removing them with ease, revealing his swimming jammers to a smiling Makoto.

"Are you sure?" Makoto stuttered as Haruka moved them so he was lying beneath the broad boy.

"I want Makoto." He whispered, peppering kisses on his face.

Reaching down, Makoto rolled his overly tight jammers down, his hot cock springing free. He also pulled the other boys shirt off, leisurely trailing his hand down his defined chest, brushing the back of his hand against his throbbing member as his hand went lower.

Before he could enter Haruka his shirt was abruptly pulled off, leaving them both equally exposed and bare, neither one feeling self-conscious by this, both feeling relaxed and cherished by the other.

Haruka felt his legs slowly being lifted, his thighs resting against the others, but he barely registered what was happening, his focus fully on Makoto, slowly leaning down, capturing his lover's lips.

He felt a finger entering him, the sensation foreign yet exciting to him, as their tongues explored each other. A second finger quickly followed, stretching him out from the inside, he whimpered into Makoto's mouth who quickly kissed away the pain, giving his lips full attention as he prepared him.

They stayed like this for a while, deeply kissing while his fingers danced and swirled inside him, until Haruka needed more, the fingers stopped being painful and all he felt was pleasure but he wanted to have Makoto fully, not just his fingers.

Things were moving quickly between the pair but neither one felt it strange, they felt their whole lives had been building up to this moment. The moment where their passion for each other became too strong and they couldn't deny it any longer. Until all they needed was to be with each other in the most intimate ways to show the love that had developed between them over the years.

He pulled back and gave Makoto a look, telling him he was ready, soon the fingers were gone and he felt his cock slipping through his cheeks.

He gasped as the head pressed slightly against his entrance, forcing inside, larger than the fingers, taking his breath away. Almost as soon as the sensation came if left again, the warmth of Makoto pressed down on him gone, eyes fluttered open to stare up at the ceiling in confusion.

Haruka leant up on his elbows to see Makoto sitting away from him, guilty staring down into his lap, wringing his hands out. Panic gripped at his heart, had he changed his mind? Did he not feel the same for him? Had any friendship they had been irreversibly destroyed by their actions tonight?

For the first time since he'd touched Makoto his mind flittered to Gou, was this guilt for the girl he was seeing? Was he choosing her over him?

The question flew around in Haruka's head, making him wince at the speed they bombarded him, until Makoto's soft voice finally spoke up.

"You were in pain." He muttered, looking up with wet, sad eyes. "I can't hurt you."

Haruka tilted his head in confusion, he'd barely registered the pain let alone expressed it, but Makoto was so in tune to his feelings he'd known.

He crawled over to the other boy, grabbing his face between his hands and kissing him gently on the lips.

"It's fine." He whispered, still holding Makoto as he shook his head. "I promise."

Makoto slowly looked up into his eyes, he knew Haruka would never do something he didn't want to so allowed himself to believe him, allowed himself to be kissed again, allowed himself to be pushed back to the floor.

Haruka lay on top of him, relishing in finally being this close to Makoto, being able to touch, to kiss, to caress any part of his body that he pleased. He felt Makoto against him, digging into his hip, practically begging for attention.

He reached down and took a hold of his cock, gently stroking it, smirking into the kiss as he felt a groan ripple through Makoto. He sat up fully, legs resting on either of his base, slowly guiding Makoto until he was entering him again.

He winced in pain as he took him in fully, his body stretching further to accommodate him, Makoto humming in appreciation as he felt the tight, warmth surrounding. He lay still on the floor until Haruka's eyes unclenched, letting him set the pace to avoid hurting him.

With a gentle rhythm, he began rocking up and down, taking Makoto in and out of himself, the movement steadily increasing as the pleasure took over his body.

"Haru!" Makoto cried out, bucking his hips up in ecstasy, his body refusing to stay stationary.

Their moans and cries filled the room, drowning out the film that continued to play in the background, as they fell into a perfect rhythm so that with each thrust a jolt of pleasure ran through them both.

He'd dreamed this moment over and over, imagined every possible scenario but he never realised how perfect it would feel. The sensations filling his body were better than anything he'd ever imagined, never in his wildest dreams or fantasies that got carried away in the tub did it ever feel so pleasurable.

Haruka watched as Makoto's breath became shorter, his head rolling back in joy, he allowed a smile as he watched his friend, knowing he looked his most beautiful when he was overcome with bliss. He panted when he felt a large hand tightly wrap around his own member, matching the strokes with their thrusts.

"We're going to do this together." Makoto stated, looking at his friend with lust filled eyes.

Haruka could only nod in response, his body curving into the touch, craving more. With his free hand, Makoto reached out for Haruka's, threading their fingers together as their pace got quicker.

Haruka felt his stomach tightening as his toes curled, knowing he was almost there, with a few more strong pumps he came with a low moan, the hot seed spreading across Makoto's chest, a few drips reaching his chin.

But the other boy didn't notice, instead he tightened his grip on the hand, squeezing it tightly as his hips shot up and he came with a loud cry of the others name.

The pair breathed and panted deeply, staring into each other's eyes, both smiling blissfully, bodies radiating the love they felt.

Tired, Haruka let his body go weak, falling forward so they were chest to chest, the sticky substance gluing them together.

"Sorry." He muttered, burying his head in his lover's neck, deeply inhaling the smell of their combined affection.

"It's fine." Makoto responded, lightly kissing his sweaty, black crown. "We'll just wash it off later."

Suddenly, Haruka felt alert again, the tiredness gone from his body, the potential of combining Makoto and water was too exciting to ignore. Makoto watched in confusion as the other boy jumped from him, standing up tall, he felt slightly disappointed as he was more than happy to lie in each other's arms.

"So eager Haru-chan." He joked, looking at the outstretched hand in front of him.

"Drop the chan." He scolded, pulling the other to his feet.

They smiled as they both stood tall, the action that summed up their friendship had been reversed, Haruka was the one reaching out for Makoto. After tonight, so much had changed between the two of them, this simple gesture only confirming the shift.

With a swift pull, Makoto found himself stumbling forward, into Haruka, their lips meeting once again that night. His arms wrapped tightly around the smaller boy's waist, holding him close as their tongues battled for dominance. Haruka's hands holding him on his neck, fingers gently gripping the stray hairs.

With a slight push, Haruka began leading them through the house, towards the bathroom, knowing the house well enough that he never had to separate from Makoto, he could guide them through without breaking the kiss.

…

Haruka slept peacefully that night, no tossing and turning, his body blissfully curled against his partner lulling him to sleep, arms tightly wrapped around a broad torso.

The same couldn't be said for Makoto, reality had hit him at full force, the implications of his actions seeping into his awake mind.

He'd cheated on his girlfriend. He'd cheated with his best friend. He'd lost his virginity to his best friend Haru rather than his girlfriend Gou.

He tried to sleep, he willed his body to shut down but it simply refused, instead his mind was whirling, thoughts assaulting him. His best friend lying on his right, lovingly holding him, his phone flashing to his left, missed calls and texts from his girlfriend waiting for him.

Questions spun around in his head, questions he struggled to answer.

Had he meant what had happened tonight? Or was he simply caught up in the moment? Why had it felt so natural? So right when it was Haruka's hands on him? Haruka's mouth sweetly kissing his skin?

There was one question he struggled to ignore, that kept creeping back into his mind, no matter how many times he tried to disregard it.

Was he in love with Haru?

He knew he should feel guilty about what had happened, should feel some sort of regret for what he'd allowed to happen but those feelings never came. Instead, as he watched the other sleeping next to him he felt happiness, he felt a swell in his heart that was stronger than anything he'd felt when he'd been with Gou.

Once again, the question came back into his mind, and although he never answered, deep down in his heart he knew.

Was he in love with Haru?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth again :)

Haruka slowly opened his eyes, the sun filtering through the window onto his sleeping form, feeling sore but thoroughly loved. It was a feeling he could grow used to.

He glanced around in confusion when he noticed an empty space next to him, a space that had recently held his friend judging by the warmth of the covers. He threw on the nearest clothes he could find and went in search of Makoto, already missing his company.

Makoto's voice filtered through the house, Haruka's feet quickly leading him in the direction of the other boy, stopping short in the doorway. He watched him on the phone, a slight smile on his lips as his mind wandered back to the evening they'd shared together.

"I'm sorry Gou-chan." Makoto muttered, his movement never stopping as he paced the room.

Haruka knew that was a sign he was nervous, but given what had happened last night he supposed he had a reason to be. He knew Makoto would never want to hurt anyone, especially not someone close to him like Gou.

"No, I wasn't ignoring you." Makoto continued, Haruka not making his presence known. "I was just distracted… Haru and I were busy all night." He sighed, running his fingers through his unkempt hair.

Haruka wanted to go over to the other and hold him, knowing just from the way Makoto held his shoulders he was guilty, his fingers pulling at his hair in stress. But he knew he had to leave him, let Gou have the goodbye she deserved.

"Alright, talk to you later." He said, hanging up the phone and turning around, jumping slightly. "Ah, you're awake." He acknowledged.

"Yeah." Haruka nodded, cursing the ten feet that separated the pair.

"Did you sleep okay?" He asked awkwardly.

"Yeah, you?" He responded, confused as to why they were exchanging pleasantries. After last night he'd assumed their relationship was past that.

"Yeah, like a baby." He replied automatically, Haruka noticing straight away he was lying. "Listen Haru, I think you should leave."

"What?" He questioned in a small voice, Makoto ignoring it.

"My girlfriend will be here soon and I think it's best we're alone." He told him, eyes never lifting from his feet.

Haruka felt a stab in the heart at the word girlfriend but he brushed past it, he supposed at this moment she still was but soon Makoto would set things right and he'd never have to utter that filthy word again.

"Okay, will I see you later today?" He asked casually, knowing if Makoto looked up he'd see the fear in his eyes.

"Maybe not, she will be staying the night." He mumbled, not wanting to continue this conversation.

"Makoto." Haruka whispered, his eyes widening slightly.

"Haru, I just…" He trailed off, finally looking up to meet the other's eyes, both seeing the pain in the other. "We need to forget about last night."

"No." He said, feeling his body shaking slightly, after dreaming of this moment for so long he refused to let it get taken from him. "You told me that I meant something to you."

"You do Haru, but just as a friend." He offered, taking a step closer to the other.

"You're lying!" He shouted, moving away from the outstretched hand.

"Haru, please calm down." He pleaded, never wanting to hurt his best friend.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I have to, I have a girlfriend." He said back quietly.

There was that horrible word again, it was more than Haruka could take. He spun on his heel and made his way towards the door, never bothering to change out of Makoto's clothes, not acknowledging his own clothes discarded on the living room floor.

"Haru! Wait!" Makoto called but his feet never stopped, he needed to get out. For the first time in his life he needed to get away from Makoto.

He'd just reached the door when he felt a hand on his wrist, lightly gripping to halt him, the unexpected contact having the desired outcome.

"Stop." Makoto said, his chest so close to Haruka's back he could practically feel the heat.

"You asked me to leave so I am." He responded, petulantly pulling his hand away and leaving the house.

"I'm sorry!" Makoto shouted to his retreating form but he never looked back, eyes set forward as he ran towards his own home.

Once inside his feet took him towards the bath, stripping and jumping inside before the water had even reached an inch in height. His whole body shook with pain, the once dull ache in his heart felt powerful enough to take over control. His eyes stung with tears he'd never let fall since his Grandma had died.

As the water rose he let his body sink further into the water, feeling weak and emotionally drained. He felt a part of himself was missing, a part of himself that belonged to Makoto but had been roughly torn from him, never to be returned.

His heart destined forever to be cracked where his love would never be reciprocated.

…

The sound of knocking filled his house, Haruka slowly waking up in the now cold bath water. He dragged himself out, unable to pin point the exact moment he had fallen asleep. Grabbing the shorts on the floor he walked towards the front door, a small part of him hoping it was Makoto but the rational part of his mind disagreeing. Makoto didn't persistently ring – he let himself in and fussed over him when he found him asleep in the water. It was bound to be a sales person.

He opened the door to reveal Nagisa and Rei, the blonde not even waiting to be invited in, instead bounding past him and inside, automatically making himself comfortable.

Rei soon followed after him, shooting Haruka an apologetic look for the other's behaviour. He gently pushed the energetic boy into a seated position from his original place of lying spread across the sofa.

Haruka gently shut the door and walked over to the pair, silently asking them what they wanted but neither one picked up on his words. Only Makoto had that ability.

"What are you doing here?" He voiced his question.

"We wanted to come visit our Haru-chan." Nagisa said, smiling at the other.

"Nagisa insisted on swim practice and I thought you might want to come too, Haruka-senpai." Rei suggested, eyes a mix of begging Haruka to join so he didn't have to be alone with Nagisa and excitement at the thought.

"Not today." Haruka muttered, deciding that for once the pool wouldn't be able to take away his hurt.

"What?" Nagisa exclaimed, jumping up. "You always want to go in the pool!"

"Are you sick?" Rei asked, concern lacing his tone.

"Something like that." He whispered, almost too quiet for the others to hear.

"Well the water will make you feel better." Nagisa urged, gently shaking his arm.

"Nagisa maybe it's best if we…" Rei started but was soon cut off by the continuation of Nagisa's chatter.

"We'll invite Makoto to come with us, he'll help to make you well again." He insisted.

"No." Haruka said, far more sternly than any voice he'd used around the boy before that it caused the other to recoil slightly.

He didn't want to swim with Makoto, he couldn't. An activity that once had bonded them was sure to tear them apart now.

It's meaningless without you.

Makoto's tender words floated around in his head, no longer making his pulse speed but instead made his blood boil.

He'd lied. The one person he trusted more than anything, trusted with his whole life lied to him. Used him and then cast him aside as if he hadn't mattered.

"Come on Nagisa, we should leave." Rei said, gently pulling the blonde towards the door.

"I'm coming." Haruka announced, turning from the room to grab his jammers, leaving two confused boys in his wake.

He refused to let Makoto hurt him, take something that he loved and get it to cause him pain. Water was his escape, his nirvana, his place to be completely free. Nothing could ever change that.

…

Makoto lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, his eyes red, his fingers tightly clutching at the clothes left behind by Haruka.

He slowly brought them up to his face, breathing in the familiar scent. The scent that made him feel scared and completely safe at the same time.

His eyes flickered towards his phone, hands itching to reach out for the device. Call Haruka, just even to hear the sound of his voice would be enough for him. But it was something he didn't deserve, after how he had acted this morning he didn't deserve Haruka's friendship let alone any other affections.

He longed to reach out to his best friend, tell him he'd made a mistake, letting him walk away sat heavy in his stomach with regret.

He hadn't wanted him to go, not truly in his heart. More than anything he wanted him here with him now, holding him close as he'd done when they'd slept. But he knew it had been the right thing to do. Gou was his girlfriend and Haruka was his best friend – that was the way it had to be despite how much he wished it wasn't.

The doorbell rang out, loud and shrill through the house, alerting him to the presence of another. He gingerly placed on his glasses, eyes far too irritated for contacts today.

He walked towards the door and hoped for Haruka, wishing he'd refused to let last night be forgotten, fighting for what he wanted. But instead when he opened the door he was met with a smiling Gou, a sight that usually set his heart on fire but today filled him with dread and guilt.

"Hello Mako-chan." She smiled, raising up onto her toes and Makoto dutifully bending down to meet her lips.

He returned the kiss but he didn't have his heart behind it. That currently beat for someone else.

"Oni-chan was not happy when he found out I was spending the night." Gou laughed, walking inside, oblivious to the other's conflicted emotions. "But I assured him tonight would remain completely innocent, though one little white lie won't hurt him." She winked, Makoto offering a small laugh in return.

Dropping her overnight bag to the floor she journeyed into the kitchen and promptly helped herself to a drink, Makoto following her and nervously sitting at the table. Could she feel the fear he was radiating? The guilt oozing out of his every pour? The pain at how he'd ended things with Haruka?

"Are you okay?" She asked, setting the now empty glass down with a clink.

"Yeah, fine." He assured half-heartedly.

"Well that's clearly a lie." She giggled, walking towards him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, Makoto subconsciously leaning back into the warmth his soul yearned for. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing, just Haru…" He trailed off, carefully choosing his words. "We had a disagreement this morning."

"Right, and was it about me?" She attentively questioned.

"Why would you think that?" He asked, unconsciously sighing as her hands slipped down his shirt and began to massage the chiselled chest underneath.

"I'm not stupid Makoto, I know he doesn't exactly approve of me." She mumbled, a hint of annoyance lacing her words.

"I guess not, but it wasn't about you. It was just something between us." He explained, knowing he could never fully be honest with her if he didn't want to hurt her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." He admitted.

"Well what do you want to do?" She asked, placing small kisses on his neck. Makoto's body betraying his heart by heating up at the contact.

"A film!" He shouted, jumping away from the girl. "I want to watch a film."

"Okay, whatever will make my Mako-chan happy again." She smiled, lightly taking his hand and leading him into the living room.

Makoto's heart got consumed by his remorse, Gou's sweet touch, her gentle affection, her loving care were more of the things he didn't deserve.

…

Haruka lay floating on his back in the pool, watching as the sun slowly drifted across the sky, the only indicator to him that time had moved on.

He didn't move despite Nagisa's coaxing or Rei's worrying, he just remained still, letting the water hold his body as he thought. Eventually the pair grew tired of trying and began to entertain themselves, their voices crying out as the smaller of the two chased the other around. Their antics usually caused a small smile to grace Haruka's lips but today there wasn't even a blip in his emotions.

Instead his mind was filled with thoughts of Makoto, every moment from last night filling his mind in agonizing detail. Every touch, every look, every kiss so vivid in his mind that it felt real.

He wanted to feel regret for what had happened, some sort of remorse for the pain he'd caused himself but he couldn't. Given the chance he'd relive that night over and over, each moment of it completely perfect.

Last night was indescribable, and although it had ended abruptly this morning, he was at least thankful for the memories he had.

…

As the film came to an end Makoto nervously glanced towards Gou, hoping the hours spent in the dark would have cause her to fall asleep, but unfortunately it hadn't. Instead she sat staring at her hands, nervously playing with her fingers.

"Are you alright?" He asked, gently placing his hand on top of hers.

"Yeah, just thinking." She said, offering him a small smile.

"Okay, I'm just going to the bathroom." He announced, forcing himself into a standing position.

He quickly walked away until he was safely behind a locked door, letting a deep sigh escape him as he leant against the wood. His gaze travelled towards the shower, his body burning in desire and guilt from the everyday furniture.

His mind was assaulted with images of Haruka, the way the water had dripped down his ebony hair as his eyes clenched shut in pleasure. The way his blunt nails had gripped at his wet skin, moaning out his name with deep lust.

He shook his head to rid himself of these images, knowing they were just getting him hot and bothered. Something his best friend shouldn't cause – he should only have those thoughts about his girlfriend. But no matter how hard he tried, Haruka had taken over. Every little thing Gou did would never compare to him, after last night he'd truly taken hold of his heart and wouldn't let go.

But Makoto couldn't let that happen, it wasn't supposed to be this way. He loved Gou, he was sure he did, but if that were true why was he having such a hard time forgetting his best friend's kiss?

With one final sigh he pushed himself off the door, trying to forget and continue his life, go back to how they were a week ago when everything still made sense.

When he finally returned to the living room he noticed the lights had been turned out and replaced with candles. Gou stood in the corner of the room, dressed in a white lingerie babydoll dress, nervously playing with the hem of the shirt.

Makoto's eyes widened at the sight, after trying to calm down from his bathroom thoughts this was certainly not helping his situation.

"You don't like it, do you?" She questioned, her voice sounding quiet. "Hana-chan convinced me to buy it but I knew it would be too much."

"No, it's not. You look amazing." He complimented, never being able to see someone nervous or upset.

"Thank you." She blushed, gesturing for him to sit on the sofa.

He followed her instruction, eyes quickly noticing the foil packet on his table, body shaking slightly.

"Makoto, I love you." She smiled, reaching over and taking his hand.

She looked up at him, eyes wide with waiting that Makoto couldn't stop himself from responding.

"I love you too." She gently kissed him at his words, his mind shouting at him for the web of lies.

"I'm ready." She whispered, eyes reaching up to meet his own again. "I want us to make love tonight."

Without waiting for a response she pressed herself against him, capturing his lips in a deep kiss. His whole body froze in panic, lips moving against his will to the rhythm of the other's.

She pulled back to lovingly remove his shirt, lightly kissing his neck and moving downwards. His eyes closed and immediately his mind travelled to Haruka, thinking about how his lips had moved against him, how soft his touch had felt. Thoughts all consumed by the black haired boy rather than the girl currently caressing him.

"How did you get that?" Gou asked, hands holding his belt buckle, eyes staring at the purple mark on his hip bone.

"Haru." He moaned, the word slipping from his lips before he had a chance to process.

"What?" She rose an eyebrow, Makoto's cheeks flushing at his mistake.

"He left a kitchen drawer open and I walked into it." He tried to laugh.

"So clumsy." She muttered, pressing a kiss to the supposed bruise while lowering his trousers, leaving him in just his boxers.

She rested her arms on his thighs, staring up at him through eyelashes, a slight smirk on her lips.

"Shall we go to your bedroom?" She asked, standing tall, one hand grabbing the protection the other held out for her boyfriend to take.

Makoto felt torn, he knew this was wrong, Gou was willingly giving herself to someone she thought loved her back but he wasn't sure now. But he longed for comfort, he longed for someone to hold him and tell him it was okay, to take away all the confusion and just allow himself happiness.

That's why he took her hand, that's why he ignored the vicious vibrating of his phone on the hardwood floor, that's why he allowed her to lead him upstairs, that's why he spent a whole night under Gou's touch.

He needed to be loved, and although in his heart he knew it wasn't the right person he forced himself to believe she was.

…

Haruka lay on his bed, the dull sound of a dialling phone ringing in his ear. He sighed and let the phone hang up for the fifth and final time that night.

He'd hoped that Makoto would have changed his mind, realised Haruka loved him in a way nobody else could and come back to him.

But, instead, he'd chosen Gou.

He would be with her now, relishing in her love, her devotion, while acting as if everything was right, as if last night was just a dream rather than a reality.

How was Haruka expected to forget a night like that? Act as if he didn't long for his best friend with such a strong, physical want? Pretend their relationship was just that of normal friends without any complications?

But, he supposed, for someone he loved he would have to try.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth :D
> 
> Sorry it's been over a month since I last updated, won't let that happen again! I hope

Haruka lay in the bath, staring at his ceiling. His fingers had long since begun pruning. He no longer cared though, his thoughts were once again focused on Makoto.

It had been one month, three weeks and five days since that unforgettable night. And although it had been that long, it was still fresh in Haruka's mind.

Whenever he closed his eyes he could still see Makoto's face, head thrown back in pleasure as Haruka gently rocked atop of him. He could still hear Makoto's loud moans echoing around his empty house. Filling him with want and lust as the darkness surrounded him.

His heart yearning to push himself from the water, run right to Makoto and hold him close. Refuse to ever let go and keep him for his own. Show him that he loved him more than Gou, or anyone, could ever do.

But he knew inside it would never work, he'd just be brushed off, pushed aside as he always seemed to be recently.

It was also one month, three weeks and four days since he'd spoken properly to Makoto. They had exchanged pleasantries, briefly discussed school work or the swim team, but that was as far as it ever went. Never addressing the tension growing between them.

Although he longed for Makoto as a lover, in his heart he knew he truly just yearned for his affection. Haruka may have complained, teased the boy for being over affectionate, groaned when he mothered him, but he missed it.

He wanted to see his warm smile in the mornings, feel his strong hand holding his as he exited his pool, taste his mother's home cooked dinners again. More than anything, he wanted his best friend back.

…

Makoto held his finger on the doorbell, listening to the persistent ringing through Haruka's house. He sighed slightly to himself, knowing he would never receive an answer. He slowly pulled his finger off and walked around to the side door, smiling with satisfaction as it slide open. Clearly Haruka hadn't taken to locking it yet.

He walked through the house, not bothering to look into any of the rooms, knowing he'd be in the bath. Water dripping down his chiselled body, creating a light sheen that had Makoto wanting to bite his lip, his black hair sticking slightly to his head despite how he'd flick it.

"Good morning Haru." Makoto said, announcing his arrival.

Haruka offered him a confused look, not expecting the gentle giant to be stood in his doorway, however he quickly regained himself and scowled before turning to face the wall, the back of his head now facing him.

"What? No hello?" Makoto asked, only receiving a petulant shake of the head in return.

With a laugh he walked over to the bath, bending down to rest on his knees while Haruka stubbornly kept his gaze on the wall.

"So you're just going to ignore me?" Makoto questioned, smiling at his friend.

"Yes." He replied curtly.

Makoto sighed slightly, letting his fingers fall into the bath and create small patterns in the water. He waited for Haruka to turn back towards him but his patience soon ran thin.

"Look, I'm so…" His apology died on his lips as he felt Haruka's bare thigh against the back of his hand. "You're not wearing your swimsuit."

"I haven't had much company recently." Haruka muttered under his breath.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I can make it up to you." He said, letting his fingers slowly walk up his thigh, smiling as he noticed the red tinge to his friend's ears. Using his spare hand to reach out for Haruka's chin and turn him round to face him. "Starting now." He whispered before pressing their lips together.

He expected Haruka to pull away in protest, not wanting to get himself hurt again, but instead he felt him melting into the kiss. Slowly parting his lips and allowing Makoto to plunge his tongue inside, moaning at the familiar warmth of his friend mouth. He wanted to be closer, press his whole body against him but knew he shouldn't soak his uniform.

Instead he settled for taking Haruka's cock in his hand, leisurely stroking until he felt him turn hard under his touch.

"What about Gou?" Haruka asked, pulling away breathlessly.

"I left her. It's meaningless unless it's you." He smiled, capturing his lips again.

He felt himself being gently pushed to the floor as Haruka climbed from the bath, the water sloshing as he exited. He leant over Makoto, dripping onto his body.

"You're getting my clothes wet." Makoto moaned slightly.

"Then take them off." Haruka smirked, hands floating down to his trousers and quickly pulling at the belt and zipper.

Makoto lifted his hips slightly as the material was hauled off him, leaving him exposed. Haruka pressed himself against the other, his hard member pushing against the other's hip, pulling a gasp from his throat.

His hands made quick work of his shirt buttons, opening the material up and revealing his chest. The shirt made it no further, Makoto was too desperate for his touch.

He pulled him down to his lips, as Haruka gently ground against him, promptly getting the other hard too.

As the kisses deepened and became more passionate Makoto felt the pressure building inside at an alarmingly quick rate.

"Haru, wait." He muttered, but it only worked in fuelling the other boy further. Increasing the speed at which he rocked, his lips latching onto his neck with fury.

Makoto tried to calm his breathing, his hands helplessly grabbing at Haruka's thrusting hips to slow him, anything to stop his early release.

"Oh god! Haru!" He moaned, his head rolling back as he knew he was too far gone, he could no longer fight the inevitable.

"Cum for me Makoto." Haruka whispered in his ear, sending the taller boy over the edge.

"Haru!" He cried as his hips bucked, covering Haruka with his release.

Makoto bolted up in bed, his breath coming out ragged as his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat. He gently pulled back his sheet to see the familiar wet patch on the front of his boxers. It was the third time this week it had happened, and it was only Thursday night.

He glanced to his right to see Gou still sleeping peacefully beside him, his oversized shirt hanging off her shoulder, the hickey he'd left on her neck painstakingly visible.

He was disgusted with himself, how could he be having dreams like that about his friend when his girlfriend slept mere inches from him. Her mum had been away that night and she had wanted Makoto to come keep her company.

He'd lied to his parents and claimed he was at Haruka's, his mother happily letting him go despite the fact it was a school night, stating he hadn't spent enough time with the boy recently.

He hated lying to his parents and he hated the fact that he'd much rather have spent the night with Haruka than Gou. But he'd forced himself to come, forced himself to fake around his girlfriend, forced himself to pleasure her despite how he hated it.

He wanted to be happy with Gou, he wanted his palms to sweat when she was near, he wanted his heart to flutter when they kissed, his stomach to lurch when they touched. But, instead, these feelings occurred around his best friend.

With a sigh he climbed out the bed, silently slipping into the bathroom to clean up, cursing himself for not bringing any spare boxers.

…

Haruka walked slowly down the school corridors, his feet shuffling as he dragged himself to another lesson. His head was down to avoid meeting the eye of any of his fellow students. He knew they'd just stare at the empty spot next to him in disbelief. A small part of himself wanted to do the same.

He heard the high pitched giggle of Gou and his feet froze, his gaze reluctantly raising until he was looking in the direction of the couple.

He watched with a heavy heart as they laughed, as they joked, noting that Makoto's smile never reached his eyes. He could see the pain there, the confusion, the internal struggle, but he could tell by the way Gou prattled on that she didn't notice it.

As if sensing eyes on him Makoto looked up, quickly finding himself staring into blue orbs. Haruka sent him messages of want, pleading to have his friendship once again, but they were ignored, Makoto turning his attention back towards Gou.

Haruka felt his heart crack. The only person who ever knew him, who understood each part of his person, now looked right through him as if he no longer mattered.

Gou began walking down the corridor, Makoto hesitating slightly before dutifully following after her. He always seemed to do this now. He never left her side, always trailing behind her wherever she went. Looking like a puppy tethered to an owner he no longer wanted. She had a strange hold over Makoto. Despite how upset he was he would not leave her.

Allowing himself an instant of pride Haruka recalled how Makoto's eyes lit up when they reached his moments ago. It hadn't been long, but he'd seen the spark flashing in his green eyes, soon to disappear when he glanced back at Gou.

Haruka knew he could be happy if he'd just give their love a chance. But Makoto seemed to have closed himself off, creating a distance between them that spanned so far it would be difficult to ever recapture the closeness they used to have.

He didn't need to be ashamed of what he felt for Haruka. And deep down Haruka knew that's why Makoto resisted, the pressures of appearances stopping Makoto from taking what he truly wanted in life.

…

Gou cornered Nagisa and Rei in the changing rooms, the older boys already in the pool, swimming alongside each other but never together.

"I'm worried about them." Gou admitted, glancing nervously towards the door.

"This is the longest Mako-chan and Haru-chan have gone without talking." Nagisa commented, a frown gracing his usually cheerful features.

"What even happened between them?" Rei asked, hoping Gou could shed some light on the situation.

"I don't even know." She groaned. "They had an argument a few weeks back but Makoto still refuses to tell me what happened. Whenever I ask he just gets flustered on me and changes the subject."

"Maybe if they just talked they'd be able to sort it out." Rei suggested.

"Let's lock them outside until they resolve their problems!" Nagisa shouted, bounding towards the door.

"That's a ridiculous idea." Gou said, grabbing the blondes arm to stop him from running. "We just need them to spend some time together like they used to. Clearly neither one is mad at the other anymore so why are they letting it continue?"

"Maybe they don't see a problem." Rei shrugged, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"We need to stage an intervention." Nagisa announced, his smile beaming.

"Nagisa, you're really not helping." Gou sighed, wishing she'd just stuck with Rei.

"Actually, that's not a terrible idea." Rei said, Nagisa shooting Gou a smug look. "If we just tell them we're worried they might consider spending more time together."

"Do you think they'd actually listen to us though?" Gou questioned, slightly unsure of the plan.

"If not Gou-chan can always use her feminine charm." Nagisa winked.

"Yeah, that will work wonders on Haru." She rolled her eyes. "Now get into the pool." She pointed towards the door.

"Maybe you should just boss them into doing what you want." Nagisa joked as he ran from the changing rooms, Rei following after him at a far slower pace.

She shook her head slightly at their antics before following them outside to the pool, watching sadly as her boyfriend and his former best friend continued to ignore each other.

Although she loved the extra attention she was receiving from Makoto recently she could see that he truly missed Haruka. And at the end of the day all she wanted was from him to be happy.

…

"Makoto, Haru. I need to talk to you." Gou said, the boys looking towards her with confused expressions.

"Uh oh! You're in trouble." Nagisa sung as he pulled Rei towards the changing rooms.

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked, speaking for the pair of them, knowing Haruka never would.

"You. Both of you." She crossed her arms, setting them both with a glare.

"What?" Haruka spoke up, a glimmer of hope inside him thinking she knew about everything, she'd let Makoto go and he could finally have him.

"This bizarre little feud you've got going on, it ends here. As your manager I have decided it is damaging to our team so you have to make up."

"What are you talking about? We're fine." Makoto laughed. It was clear to everyone there that the sound was fake.

"We're not." Haruka muttered, glancing down at his feet as he spoke.

"Exactly." Gou said, raising her eyebrow. "So tonight, have a little team building. Just the two of you."

"But we're going out for dinner." Makoto gently reminded, hoping to change her mind. He didn't trust himself alone with Haruka, he wasn't sure he could control himself and continue denying the lust rushing through his veins.

"Not anymore, you're going around Haru's to play video games all night, or whatever the hell it is you two do alone." She said, Makoto finding himself blushing slightly at the simple comment, if only she knew what they had got up to she wouldn't be pushing this.

"Well, I guess if Haru wants to." Makoto hesitantly said, praying he would be too stubborn to forgive him that quickly.

"Whatever." He shrugged, the look in his eyes clearly disproving his casual attitude.

"Good, now shake and make up." Gou instructed.

Makoto lifted his hand up and held it out, swallowing as Haruka slowly brought his own up and clasped his fingers around the others. Makoto tried to ignore the sparks running up his arms, the fire in his stomach, the chills that left his hair standing on end from just a simple touch.

He pulled his hand away with a sigh, tonight would be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, even a bit of Gou's perspective in there, check me out with all my different views of people
> 
> Hope you liked it :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is what I did instead of starting my assignment :/ oops!
> 
> Thanks Zaabeth for dealing with my sudden burst of chapters

As promised, Haruka and Makoto were spending some time together, just the two of them. They were currently walking down the dark, empty streets of Iwatobi, a silence hanging between them as they journeyed.

It wasn't like their old silences, comfortable, words not needed to fill the quiet, more than happy to just be in each other's company. Now the silence between them was thick with tension, a sexual electricity that neither one could deny yet both refused to comment on.

Despite the sun having gone down the air was still warm, muggy from the late spring time heat. Thanks to that warmth they were both comfortable walking around without jackets on, the slightly dropped temperature a relief more than a hindrance.

The original plan had been to spend the night at Haruka's but Makoto had flat out refused, knowing he wouldn't be able to control himself alone in such close quarters with Haruka. Instead he'd suggested a night walk, knowing the prospect of being seen would stop him from doing something he'd later regret.

"Where are we going?" Makoto asked, realising that Haruka was no longer wandering aimlessly.

"You'll see." Haruka replied, picking up his speed as he walked, knowing that Makoto would always follow. Makoto sighed slightly before picking up his own pace and returning to his friend's side.

As they walked Makoto felt them falling into a familiar route, the same shops they used to pass every morning on the way to school, the beach, the old bus stop where drunk men could usually be found in the morning.

"Are we going to school?" Makoto questioned, only receiving a sparkle of Haruka's eyes in response. "But why?"

"For a swim." He shrugged as the familiar blocks of the school came into view.

Makoto wanted to protest, claim they'd get ill but he knew in this stagnant air nothing would be more refreshing than a dip in the pool.

Haruka's pace quickened even more as he rounded the school towards the fence that surrounded the pool, quickly producing a key from his pocket for the gate.

As members of the swim team they'd all been given a key for easy access to the pool when the school was shut for extra training, but Makoto imagined this wasn't what Ama-chan had in mind when she had presented the four boys with them.

"We shouldn't." Makoto said, hesitating by the gate as Haruka happily strode towards the pool.

"Why not? We were told we are always welcome to use it." He replied, dismissing Makoto's worries.

Makoto watched as Haruka quickly stripped down to his swimsuit, swallowing down the lump that formed in his throat at the sight.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Haruka asked, a quick flick of his head beckoning Makoto closer.

"I don't have my swimsuit." He explained, hesitantly walking towards the other boy.

"Then go without." He supplied, Makoto's blush barely noticeable in the dark. "Once you're in the pool what difference does it make?"

"I'm not swimming in nothing!" He cried. Being naked around Haruka was exactly what he wanted to avoid.

"Why not?" Haruka questioned as if the thought didn't affect him in the slightest.

"I just don't think it's fair that you get to wear your swimsuit and I have go naked." Makoto complained, grasping at any excuse he could find.

"Not my fault you didn't plan ahead." He said, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

"Because I didn't know." He pouted, and despite the dark Haruka could still tell the face Makoto was making.

"Fine." Haruka groaned, reaching down and swiftly pulling his swimsuit down. "Does that make you feel better?"

Makoto couldn't offer any words in response, the sight of Haruka naked and illuminated in the moonlight causing his mouth to turn dry.

"Hurry up." Haruka moaned, leaving the flustered boy in favour of diving into the pool.

Once in the water he swam back to end where Makoto stood, resting his arms on the pool edge and staring expectantly up at his friend.

"You don't have to watch me." Makoto muttered, pulling his shirt off.

"It's nothing I haven't seen or sucked before." Haruka replied casually, a slight teasing glint in his eyes.

"Haru!" Makoto whined, feeling his body heat up. "I thought we agreed to forget that night."

"I never agreed to anything." He mumbled before pushing himself off the wall and under the water.

Makoto stared at the space that had just held his friend with a sigh. If only Haruka knew how difficult he was finding it to forget that night as well. He pulled off his trousers and boxers before quickly throwing himself into the water to save what little modesty he still had left.

He supposed once in the pool it was hard to tell either one was undressed, and as long as he could ignore the fact that his friend was gracefully gliding through the water next to him, completely naked, he supposed he would make it through the night.

…

Makoto leant against the wall of the pool, staring up at the stars to avoid looking at Haruka, who floated unashamedly on his back in the centre of the water.

He jumped slightly when he felt wet skin against his shoulder, indicating Haruka had now joined him.

"Haru!" He shouted, moving away from the other's touch ever so slightly. Haruka noticed.

"I'm not going to do anything to you." He sulked, hating how Makoto could no longer bare to be near him.

"I know that, I didn't move because of that." He offered lamely, not wanting the truth to be known that he couldn't trust himself near Haruka, not the other way around.

"The whole point of tonight was to make things right, not worse." Haruka reminded him, hoping to get through to Makoto how much he missed their former selves, before they'd grown apart, before a rip had appeared in their friendship that seemed to be unfixable.

"I know that." Makoto nodded, looking down at the rippling water. "I think we need to talk about it."

"I thought you wanted to forget it." He smirked, moving in the water so he was facing Makoto.

"Well, maybe we should talk about it first, then forget it." Makoto said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"Alright, talk." Haruka encouraged, not wanting to approach the forbidden subject first.

"Okay." Makoto nibbled on his lip, unsure where he should start. There was so much he wanted to say to Haruka but so much he knew that he had to keep hidden. He longed to find the right words to say, ones that would fix things, ones that would salvage their relationship, create hope for their future, whatever type of future they may have together.

"Good talk." Haruka quipped after a far too long moment of silence.

When he still didn't get any form of response he pushed off the ground, ready to swim laps when Makoto's voice cried out.

"I don't mind that you're gay!"

"What?" Haruka asked, standing up again and slowly making his way back to Makoto.

"I… It's just that… If you're gay that's okay. It wouldn't change things between us. We'd still be friends." Makoto nervously admitted.

"That's good to know, but I'm not gay." Haruka said, glancing off to the side.

"The other night though. You…" Makoto trailed off, still not letting himself say it allowed.

"What? Both of us having sex? Wouldn't that make you gay too?" Haruka asked, arms crossed in annoyance that his best friend was trying to label him.

"Well, I have a girlfriend." He said, blushing hard, he was still confused about his own sexuality that he didn't need Haruka questioning it as well.

"And that cancels out everything we did?" Haruka questioned, still never meeting Makoto's eyes.

"Well no I just… Please Haru." He begged, the sadness in his tone reaching Haruka's heart. He wanted to make things right but all he ever managed to do was create arguments between them. Haruka sighed and turned back towards the other boy, never being able to make his friend uncomfortable. Whatever appearances may indicate he did care deeply about his friends and hated to see them upset.

"Makoto, I'm just me and you're just you. What happened between us doesn't make that any different. I didn't do it because I'm gay." It's because I love you he added silently, momentarily forgetting the other could usually read him easily.

The blush rising on Makoto's cheeks was a clear indicator that he had understood the message. He could say it back, he knew he could, but yet there was still something holding him back, something keeping the words trapped in his throat.

Makoto suddenly felt cold water falling across his previously warm cheeks, he spluttered slightly before staring at Haruka, who'd splashed the water in an attempt to move on from his confession, though he wouldn't openly admit that.

"You looked like you needed to cool off." He shrugged, glancing off to the side then jumping in shock at a return attack that he did not see coming. "Hey!" He whined.

However, Makoto's attacks seemed relentless, barely giving Haruka the chance to respond before another flush of water covered him.

"Stop it." He groaned, managing to fit a small splash in of his own.

"Make me." Makoto said, raising an eyebrow in challenge at Haruka.

Before he even had a chance to question his actions Haruka pushed himself off and into Makoto, pinning him between himself and the wall of the pool.

He opened his mouth slightly to question his friend's actions but before the words could leave he felt Haruka pressing against him, lightly sucking on his bottom lip. Makoto let his eyes flutter closed, tongue nipping out to pry the other's lips apart so he could once again feel the familiar comfort of Haruka's mouth.

Suddenly he felt the spark return to him, the fire that he'd longed for roaring inside him again as Haruka pressed himself closer, his nerves burning at the feel of their naked skin touching.

Makoto's arms, that up until now had been stationary at his side, moved through the water to hold Haruka, keeping him close and never wanting to let go of the boy who'd brought him back to life.

Haruka pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against the other as he tried to catch his breath.

"If you ask me." Haruka panted. "What you just did was pretty gay."

With a slightly smug look he detached himself from Makoto and exited the pool. He felt eyes on his back the whole time he went, watching his every movement as he slowly made his way inside.

…

The sound of water dripping off his skin filled the deserted corridor, each slap of bare foot against tiled floor practically echoing around him. Haruka shouldn't have kissed Makoto, he knew that, he knew he'd just end up getting more hurt but at the same time he knew it was the perfect thing to do. He needed to be close to him, he craved his touch, his love, more than anything else in the world.

Haruka sighed slightly in relief as the showers came into his view, wanting nothing more than an assault of cold water after what had just happened outside.

But before he could reach his destination he felt a hand grabbing his shoulder, roughly spinning him around and pressing him into the lockers. Haruka winced slightly as his back came into contact with the cold, unforgiving metal.

He looked up at Makoto and found the lust filled eyes he'd left behind in the pool where long gone. Instead he was met with furious, green orbs – a look that, while not impossible, was certainly uncommon from his gentle friend.

"What?" Haruka asked, trying to wriggle out of Makoto's grasp. It was too strong.

"You need to stop." He practically growled, Haruka flinching slightly at his tone.

"Stop what?" He said, feigning innocence.

"You know." Makoto pressed himself closer to Haruka, effectively stunning him into motionlessness.

Makoto shouldn't have been turned on in this situation but he was and it only fuelled his anger further. It angered him that just being close to Haruka could cause his body to react. It angered him that Haruka would feel his arousal against his hip. It angered him that more than anything he wanted to kiss the other boy in front of him.

"Tell me." Haruka prompted, wanting Makoto to say the words, to acknowledge the feelings happening between them.

"You need to get this sick fantasy out of your head. We're friends and nothing more." He said, his voice sounding confident but his eyes telling a different story.

"Really? Well, I'm inclined to not believe you." He mocked, gently stroking the hard cock pressed against himself.

Makoto berated the moan that escaped his lips as the pleasure rippled through him, a feeling that Gou could never bring out with just one touch.

But he couldn't let Haruka do that to him. He needed to love Gou, he needed to only think of her, to yearn for her touch and her touch only.

"You mean nothing to me, you have to accept that." He hissed while praying his body would calm down.

Makoto noticed the hurt that flashed across Haruka's eyes before it was replaced with anger. He immediately regretted what he had said. It had been in the heat of the moment and he knew he hadn't meant it. He hoped Haruka had known that too, but the pain in those eyes told him otherwise.

"You know what?" Haruka asked, pushing back on Makoto, roughly moving him across the floor. "You're the one who means nothing to me. The Makoto I cared for would never act this way. He'd never try to hurt me. He'd never push me away when I needed him the most. He wouldn't lie to his girlfriend. He loves people too much to cause them any pain." Makoto jumped slightly as he felt his back hit the wall, Haruka continuing to move until he had him trapped. "I hate who you've become, and the Makoto I cared for would hate you too. I want nothing more to do with you until you can find the old you, the you I loved."

Haruka didn't mind that he'd confessed so honestly to his friend because he needed to know the truth. He'd changed from the person he'd once been and Haruka wasn't sure he liked it.

He moved away from the other as he watched the words sink in. He then headed towards the showers, planning to have a quick wash before heading home. He assumed their night of team bonding was over.

Haruka felt himself being grabbed again, this time it wasn't so harsh though. Instead Makoto held him, arms tightly wrapped around his middle, head pressed against his shoulder leaving a damp patch from his hair or his eyes, Haruka couldn't really tell.

"I'm sorry Haru." He sniffled, tightening his hold on the other. "I'm so confused."

Haruka wanted to pull away, knowing the longer he stayed the harder it would be to walk away, the harder it would be to forget. But he knew he couldn't. The familiar warmth of his friend's hold sucked him in, kept him rooted to the spot, basking in the heat of the arms around him.

"I don't know what to think anymore." Makoto continued, the confusion lacing his voice. "I don't know why I can't forget you or that night. I don't know why every time I'm with Gou I'm thinking about you."

"It's okay, Makoto." Haruka reassured, turning in his arms so he was facing the other.

He gently took hold of the other boys face and moved it until their eyes met, comforting him with his gaze, showing that he understood how the other felt, the confusion, the pain, and that he was here for him.

"It's not okay." Makoto shook his head, resting his hands atop of Haruka's. "I don't know what I want anymore. I love Gou, I do, but I love you too. Even if Haru-chan hates me."

"Idiot." He rolled his eyes. "I don't hate you, I could never hate you."

"You should." Makoto laughed slightly as Haruka rolled his eyes at the statement.

"You need time to think and I'll be here waiting when you're ready." Haruka said, causing a smile to spread across Makoto's face.

"Thank you Haru." He cried, pulling the other against his chest and burying his head in his neck.

They didn't say anything else after that, instead just content to be close to one another. All the feelings between them were finally aired, finally expressed and accepted. It didn't matter that Makoto was confused because in his heart Haruka knew they'd always be together, friends or more he wouldn't mind as long as he got to keep Makoto.

Makoto pulled away slightly, he kept his arms around Haruka but moving away enough to look at the other. He slowly brought his head down before gently pressing his lips to Haruka's. It was different than their other kisses. Softer while still being passionate, lacking the hunger from the ones before, opening them up to a more loving feeling.

Haruka rose up onto his toes, hoping to save Makoto from a crick in the neck but inadvertently rubbed his bare crotch against the other's, igniting a fire inside both.

Neither one was sure who made the first move but soon their kisses became desperate and needy, the sounds of their mutual want ringing loudly in the once quiet room. Without separating their lips their feet scuffled across the floor, trying to find a surface for support.

The backs of Makoto's knees caught on the edge of a bench, forcing the boy to pull back slightly as he stumbled. He only had a moment to regain himself before Haruka pushed him down, flat on the bench. The shorter boy quickly straddling on top before bringing their lips back together again.

Haruka gently rocked his hips through the kiss, waiting for both their bodies to react to the friction he'd created before pulling away from Makoto's now swollen lips.

"Are you ready Makoto?" He whispered, his hand ghosting along Makoto's broad chest and down towards where their hips meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got a little OOC there, my bad XD


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Zaabeth for powering through my chapters and making them perfect :) much love

"Maybe we shouldn't." Makoto whispered as Haruka trailed kisses along his jawline, his hand lazily drawing patterns on his hip.

"But maybe we should." Haruka muttered against his neck, allowing his hand to lightly stroke Makoto's cock.

Makoto groaned, his hips bucking up into the agonizingly slow caresses. He craved more, he needed more, but he knew that he shouldn't. Yet with Haruka lying on top of him, his lips and hands working his body he couldn't think of anything other than the boy. Pure, hot lust clouded his thoughts, begging to let go.

Haruka then brought his hands upwards, lacing his fingers through Makoto's soft hair and pressing their lips together. Makoto's hips continued to rock, gently pressing their combined arousal together.

For a fleeting moment Makoto's thoughts went to protection, ready to tell Haruka about the condoms he kept in his wallet. A precaution he'd begun taking since he and Gou become intimate.

Gou.

Her name was like a bucket of cold water over his body, quickly killing the moment and filling him with guilt for what he was currently doing.

His eyes widened and he pushed his body to sit up again, Haruka forced to move to accommodate the shift. He wrapped his legs around Makoto's waist and took full advantage of their new position by grinding his hips down, his breath shortening at the sensation.

"Haru… Ah… We can't… Uh… Do this." Makoto managed to get out through his moans.

"Why not?" He asked, his hips finally ceasing their movements.

"You know why." He responded, letting his eyes drop down to the other boy's chest.

"Gou." Haruka sighed climbing off Makoto's lap and sitting opposite him on the bench.

"It wouldn't be fair to her." Makoto admitted, forcing himself to stand up and walk to the other side of the room, needing the space to gain back some of his self-control.

He leant his head against the wall. He knew he had to leave the room, get dressed and insist they went home but instead he found himself frozen, refusing to move any further away from Haruka.

He slowly turned around to look at the other boy again, instantly regretting it as soon as he had.

Makoto felt his throat turn dry as he took in the sight, Haruka casually sat cross legged on the bench, looking up at him with wide eyes, the lust and want apparent in the look. Makoto wanted nothing more than to race back to him, touch his body all over, leave marks of his love on the creamy white skin.

Haruka immediately noticed the flash in Makoto's eyes, understanding what he wanted, what his body craved. He unfolded his legs and pushed himself off the bench onto the floor, Makoto watching him curiously as he raised up onto all fours and slowly began moving towards him.

Makoto swallowed slowly as he watched his friend crawling towards him, noting how he looked unbelievably sexy illuminated in the moonlight as he got closer to him.

Once in front of the other boy he pushed himself back on his haunches, innocently looking up at Makoto from his position on the floor.

"Haru, please." He pleaded, knowing if he touched him he'd lose all control.

"Please, what?" He smirked, hand lifting up to gently grip Makoto's cock.

"Don't." He moaned as Haruka's hand began to softly pump his erection.

"Don't, what?" Makoto opened his mouth to protest but all that escaped was a moan when he felt a wet muscle lick his balls before a delicate mouth sucked.

"Uh… Haru!" He squeaked at the foreign sensation.

"Do you want me to stop?" He questioned, pulling back and looking up.

"No." Makoto breathed, his body tingling with anticipation as he watched Haruka's face coming closer to his crotch.

Haruka's tongue quickly nipped out, offering a quick lick on the tip of the cock in front of him, Makoto shivering at the contact.

"So what do you want me to do?" He asked, his breath cooling the wet tip, Makoto's hips almost bucking into his face in his eagerness.

"I… I want…" He trailed off, bringing an arm up to his face to cover the blush rising up onto his cheeks. The whole act was rendered pointless as the blush spread to his neck, very visible to the boy on his knees.

"Tell me what you want Makoto." He whispered, peppering kisses along his strong hips, his hand leisurely stroking the length of his shaft.

"I want Haru." He moaned, letting his arms drop slightly.

"I'm right here." He bit down on the flesh just below his belly button, Makoto yelping out in pleasure. "Tell me what to do."

"I… I can't." Makoto stuttered in embarrassment. For the one who was usually the more vocal of the two he was struggling to find his words.

"If you don't tell me how will I know what to do?" Haruka mocked, moving away slightly, lazily trailing his tongue down his cock as he went. "Don't be shy."

"Haru, please." He said, jerking as he felt Haruka lick the slit on his head.

"Please, what?" Haruka questioned, continuing his teasing by pulling away totally, both his hands and mouth.

"Please… Please will you…" Makoto looked down to see Haruka staring at him expectantly. He groaned slightly when he realised there was no way to avoid it any longer. "Suck me, please."

"See? That wasn't so hard was it?" Haruka smirked.

"Yes it was." He mumbled, glancing to the side to hide his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you." He breathed, leaning back in quickly and taking the head of Makoto's cock in his mouth.

Makoto gasped at the sudden warmth enveloping him, his hips begging to thrust to get deeper but he held himself back, instead letting Haruka do his work.

Haruka hollowed out his cheeks and began to suck, feeling pride swell inside him as Makoto groaned loudly, only managing to get out incomplete words. He let his tongue swirl around the head, licking over each patch of skin that was inside his mouth.

In lust, Makoto's body reacted and thrust harshly into Haruka's mouth, the other boy having to pull away quickly to avoid getting choked.

"I'm sorry Haru!" Makoto cried out, almost dropping to his knees to check the other boy was alright.

"So eager Makoto." He scolded, pressing his hands down on his hips to hold him in place. "Didn't anyone ever tell you good things come to those who wait?"

"Yeah, I just can't control myself around Haru-chan." He confessed, threading his fingers through his jet, black hair.

Haruka had the words 'drop the chan' on his lips but as he felt his head being guided forward by the strong hands in his hair, he chose not to speak up and instead enjoyed this slightly controlling side of Makoto.

He opened his mouth wide and easily allowed Makoto to slip back inside, his head bobbing back and forth to take more each time, Makoto's grip on his hair tightening the deeper he got.

They set a pace together, Haruka slowly taking more and more of Makoto as he became accustomed to the size, until he felt his head hit the back of his throat. Haruka moaned at the sensation, vibrating against Makoto's cock and sending ripples of pleasure though his body.

Makoto felt the familiar clench and he knew he was close, looking down to see his cock quickly moving in and out of Haruka's mouth pushing him nearer to his release.

The hands that were once pulling him closer were now pushing him away, and despite how Haruka protested against the force he was weaker than the other boy. He was pushed away, letting Makoto's cock go with a wet pop until he was sat back on his knees.

"Why?" Haruka asked confused, wanting to finish what he's started, bring Makoto to the realms of ecstasy.

"If you continued I would have…" Makoto stopped, his breathing heavy, unable to bring himself to say the word cum. "Well you know, in your mouth."

"So? I want to taste Makoto." Haruka whispered, leaning closer to him and licking up and down the shaft, as if he were a sweet treat. "I bet you taste amazing."

"You don't have to." He groaned out shakily, his cock twitching helplessly.

"I want to."

Haruka quickly took his cock back inside his mouth, sucking as he bobbed back and forth to bring Makoto to his climax.

"Ah… Ha… Haru!" Makoto cried out, his hips shooting forward as he released harshly into Haruka's mouth, the other boy continuing his work until the very last drop, trying in earnest to swallow as much as he could, ignoring the hot seed slipping down his chin.

As Makoto tried to catch his breath he found his knees going weak, barely able to support his weight for much longer until he was slipping down the wall and landing in a heap in front of Haruka. His legs spread either on side of the other boy and Makoto was quickly pulling him closer, his hand lightly cupping his chin and moving until their gazes met, eyes both sparkling with affection.

"That was amazing." He sighed, kissing him deeply, tasting his own salty release on the other boy's lips. "You're amazing."

The pair kissed tenderly, slowly expressing the love between them as they pressed against each other, their skin tingling at the closeness they were experiencing.

"What about you?" Makoto asked between kisses, overly aware of the hard cock pressing into him with every touch.

"What about me?" Haruka unsurely echoed.

"What do you want me to do?" Makoto smirked, his eyes flashing with a newfound bout of confidence.

"Hmm, what do I want to do?" He questioned.

Haruka let his hand ghost across the other's chest and downwards, he skimmed past his spent cock until he reached his cheeks and gently pressed his fingers between them. Makoto gasped slightly as he felt Haruka's finger circling his entrance, never pushing himself inside just gently rubbing.

"Would that be okay?" He asked with a kiss against the other's neck, Makoto only being able to nod mutely in response.

Suddenly Haruka pulled away, pushing himself up and walking away. Makoto watched his back as he went, embarrassment seeping in as he sat on the floor, completely exposed.

"Haruka?" He called after him in uncertainty, was this his punishment? He knew he needed some form of reprimanding for all he'd done but more than anything he needed Haruka, he couldn't go on if he walked away.

"Don't you keep some lotion in here?" Haruka asked, looking for the cream Makoto slathered himself in after practice.

"Yeah, should be in my locker." Makoto stuttered, ashamed at his previous thoughts.

"Found it." Haruka called in triumph, before turning towards the other boy and walking back. "Did you really think I was going to leave?"

Makoto blushed at the question, momentarily forgetting that the other could read him just as easily as he could.

"Well, you didn't say anything." He offered lamely as Haruku kneeled in front of him.

"How could I leave when Makoto looks so good?" He asked, pulling Makoto into the space between his legs, the backs of his thighs resting on the tops of his.

Makoto swallowed loudly as he was manhandled into the perfect position, the rough control turning him on all over again. He listened to the squelch of the cream on Haruka's fingers, his hands working to warm it up before he moved to prep the other boy.

"You ready?" He asked, fingers lingering near his entrance.

"Ready." Makoto confirmed before he felt Haruka slip one finger inside him.

He gasped audibly at the foreign feeling, mild discomfort spreading through his insides.

"It gets better, I promise." Haruka smiled, thinking back to the last time they'd been in this position.

"Okay." Makoto managed to whisper as he felt another finger enter him, his body uncontrollably clenching at the intrusion.

"You need to relax Makoto." Haruka told him, lightly pressing a kiss against the inside of his knee. "I promise it will be worth it."

Makoto forced himself to take a deep breath, willing his body to relax. He wanted to do this, he wanted to feel Haruka, to satisfy him, to feel his pleasure releasing deep inside him. He focused on the love between them, on how they'd become one when Haruka entered him, how indescribable it would feel to be filled.

Haruka slipped in another finger and this time Makoto didn't clench up, instead he pushed his hips back, taking the fingers in further until the knuckles were pressed against his entrance, his digits stretching him which each roll of his hips.

"I'm ready Haru." Makoto moaned as he felt the fingers brush against the sensitive spot inside.

Haruka's slick fingers slipped out, and he gently rubbed himself to spread any excess cream onto his cock. He lined himself up with the entrance, pulling Makoto closer until only the tops of his shoulder and head still lay against the wall.

Slowly he pushed inside, moaning loudly at the feeling of Makoto's heat sheathing him, he paused once fully entered, waiting for confirmation.

Makoto nodded slightly and Haruka gently thrust out and back in, a soft sigh escaping both of them at the sensation, Makoto's eyes fluttered shut as his head rolled back slightly. Haruka didn't lie, it did get better.

Haruka found his body shuddering to a halt as he felt Makoto pulsing around him, the feeling of being caressed by someone he truly loved was overwhelming. He listened to Makoto's ragged breath and smiled, it was because of him, he created these feelings inside the other. He'd finally got everything he wanted, pure bliss soaked his entire body at the thought.

"It's okay, you can move." Makoto's voice brought him back to reality. "It doesn't hurt."

"Oh right." He stuttered, rolling his hips again and picking up his momentum.

"Ah!" Makoto cried out as Haruka found his sensitive spot, sending a jolt of pleasure through his body with every thrust.

Makoto desperately brought his hands up, placing them on the others arms and tightly grabbing down, leaving little red marks from where his nail dug in but it didn't deter Haruka. Instead it drove him further, wanting to make Makoto's whole body curl with pleasure, so he thrust harder and faster into the boy under him.

With each thrust, Makoto was mercilessly slammed against the wall but the boy didn't care, the slight pain mixed with the overflowing pleasure set his body on fire. He'd never felt this good in his life, all his mind could focus on was Haruka, blocking out the cold tiled floor he lay on, the slight scraps from the wall, the small twinge in his stomach from his current position. With Haruka slipping in and out of him he could withstand any amount of pain.

Grinding down into the other, Haruka watched as Makoto's arousal slapped against his stomach, moving himself so that only one arm supported his body while the other stroked in time to his pace. At the touch Makoto let out a deep, needy moan that echoed off the walls, Haruka's cock twitching at the sound.

His moans and cries never ceased, with each thrust and each stroke they seemed to get louder, while Haruka offered small breathy groans in return. Makoto was louder in their friendship and also louder in their love.

"Oh god Haru!" Makoto called out, his hips curling up into his touch, craving more from Haruka.

He pulled his hands away from the other's biceps and used them to prop his body up, hoping to reach the other boy's lips but instead he only managed to meet his chest. He glanced up to see if Haruka had noticed the change in position but his eyes were shut, mouth slightly open as whispers of the other's name tumbled from his lips, hair stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead. Makoto found himself smiling at the sight, Haruka was undeniably beautiful, he could watch him for hours. As corny as it sounded he gained pleasure from seeing Haruka pleasured, he just wished the whispers would be louder.

With a smirk he lunged forward, catching a nipple between his lips and sucking harshly.

"Uh!" Haruka cried out, his body jerking at the newfound pleasure.

Makoto felt himself twinge at the noise and nipped down on the nub with his teeth.

"Makoto!" Haruka screamed, his head falling forward to rest on the other boy's crown.

"Do you like that Haru?" He asked, letting his tongue flick across the nipple as he spoke.

"Oh… Yes." He breathed out, moaning loudly when Makoto switched sides and focused on the other nipple.

Haruka pressed his thumb down on the slit of Makoto's cock, causing a loud moan to escape from him. The sound rippling through his own chest from where the boy's lips sucked and teased his nipples. A gasp of pleasure of his own tumbled from his lips as a response.

Haruka felt himself hurtling towards his own release, all his sense filled to the brim with Makoto. The feel of his heat wrapped around him, pulsing with every moan that escaped his body, his soft lips trailing across his chest, his scent filling his nose from where it was buried deep in his hair, his arousal slick in his hand with lust for him.

All these sensations combined became too much for Haruka and he soon felt himself being thrown into his orgasm.

"Ma…Ko…To." He cried out brokenly as his hips shuddered and he released inside the other. Makoto moaning loudly as he felt the seed filling him.

Once he'd finished Haruka worked Makoto, increasing the speed at which he pumped his cock until he was screaming out his name and covering them both with his climax.

Only when he was done did Haruka allow himself to drop, lying on top of the other in a mix of sticky, breathless limbs.

…

The pair were lying opposite each other, legs wrapped tangled together, chest pressed flushed, heartbeats finally calmed and in tune. They both needed to shower, both needed to get off the hard floor, both needed to wrap up from the slight nip in the air, yet both refused to move. Instead content to just lie in each other's arms, speak without words between chaste kisses.

"Haru." Makoto sighed, leaning into the hand that cupped his cheek. "I can't keep pretending what's happening between us is okay. I can't pretend that I'm not a cheater, that I'm not a horrible person."

"You're not, Makoto." Haruka comforted, but knew it fell on stubborn, guilty ears.

"We have to stop." He said, nuzzling further into the hand.

"I don't want to." Haruka admitted, letting his eyes flicker shut.

"Me neither."

Makoto leant in and kissed Haruka, the other boy gasping at the unexpected contact, giving Makoto the opportunity to slip his tongue out and into the other's mouth, exploring the wet cavern, committing the feeling of his lips, of his tongue, of his touch to memory as this would be one of their last kisses.

"I love you." Haruka whispered breathlessly.

"I love you too, but…" Makoto's sentence was cut short when Haruka pressed his finger against the other lip, shaking his head softly.

He didn't want to hear the rest, wouldn't be able to handle the words that would continue to flow from his lips. Makoto gently kissed the fingertip before pulling it away, tightly holding the digit in his palm.

"Until I tell Gou this stops, I can't keep doing this to her." He said, guilt flashing across his eyes.

Haruka blinked slowly at the other, taking in his shamed but earnest expression.

"Okay." He responded after a moment. "I understand." He tried to pull his finger away but the other boy tightened his grip.

"I will tell her soon." He promised, pressing another kiss against his lips.

"I thought we had to stop that." He smiled, repaying the kiss.

"Starting now." He laughed, pulling away after one last kiss.

The pair reluctantly disentangled their limbs, pushing their bodies up until they were stood facing each other, a very obvious foot gap between them.

"I think I need a shower after that." Haruka said, breaking the silence that had fallen on them.

"I'll wait out here." Makoto told him, forcing his eyes to remain on his face and never travel lower.

"You need one too." He instructed, pointing to Makoto's chest, soiled with dry cum.

"Hmm, you're right." He said, absentmindedly scratching at the substance. "I'll go after you."

"We used to shower together." Haruka crossed his arms, slightly annoyed.

"We used to be just friends as well." Makoto nervously laughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'll be on my best behaviour." He assured, holding his hand out slightly to him in invitation.

"Haru." Makoto warned, more worried about his own behaviour and self-control than the shorter boy's.

"It will be a completely innocent shower, promise." He offered, the corners of his lips turning up ever so slightly.

"Fine." He sighed, reaching out and taking Haruka's hand.

"Then afterwards you can give me a rub down." He teased, walking towards the showers at the end of the room.

"Haru!" Makoto whined, letting the Haruka pull him under the spray and into his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Zaabeth for making it all perfect :)

Haruka felt his hand tightly clenching around the cold, metal handle of his locker, eyes boring into the couple at the other end of the corridor.

Makoto and Gou.

Makoto had promised he’d tell Gou everything, that he’d end things with her, that they’d be together. But after a week, he was still dating the annoying girl.

It should be him, he should be the one smiling up at Makoto, small but still full of love. It should be him who tightly held Makoto’s hand as he got his books for his next lesson. It should be him who Makoto loved so openly and honestly.

Her high pitched giggle floated down the corridor, practically slapping Haruka in the face with its joy. With one final scowl he slammed his locker shut and walked off down the corridor.

Makoto heard the slam and glanced up, noticing the empty space that once held his best friend. Guilt began to pull at his heart. He knew their current situation was hurting Haruka, but he couldn’t rush things. Gou deserved the truth, deserved a full explanation, not a quick break up in the school corridors like many tacky boys seemed to do.

“Haru seems upset.” He said, finally turning away from the ghost of Haruka.

“He seems the same as he usually does.” Gou shrugged. Unlike Makoto, she couldn’t read the subtle changes in his personality that displayed his emotions.

“Trust me, he’s not.” Makoto informed his girlfriend. “I should go check on him.”

“Okay, if we must.” She sighed slightly with a smile

Makoto opened his mouth to protest but quickly shut it again, not being able to offer a rational reason why it was better if they were alone.

“We can wait outside his last class, he’ll have to show up eventually.” Makoto decided, hoping the other boy would take so long Gou would grow bored and leave. It would give him a chance to be alone with Haruka and to ease his mind.

…

“Haru!” Makoto’s voice called out as Haruka made his way towards his last class, his heart unintentionally skipping a beat at the cry.

He pulled his gaze off his own feet and froze when he saw Gou stood with him, pathetically wrapped around his arm, staking her claim.

“Are you okay?” She asked him, her voice oozing fake concern.

“Fine thanks.” He sneered in response.

“Haru.” Makoto said calmly, his soft voice causing the scowl on his face to dissipate. “Soon, I promise.”

“What’s soon?” Gou questioned, eyes flicking between the two boys. “Soon and he’ll be back in the pool?”

“Soon I’ll get what I love.” Haruka said, Makoto smiling slightly at the comment.

“You really do love water too much.” Gou giggled with a shake of her head. “I better be getting to class.” She turned towards Makoto, practically closing Haruka off from the conversation.

“Okay.” Makoto nodded, eyes watching Haruka subtly.

“And I’m going shopping with Hana-chan after school so I won’t be able to see you until this evening.” She pouted, Haruka rolling his eyes at her dramatics.

“That’s fine, I’ll just walk home with Haru.” Makoto said, shooting a wink in his direction, causing a bright blush to spread across the other boy’s cheeks.

“I’ll see you later then.” She smiled, raising onto her toes for a kiss.

Haruka felt himself unable to look away. He didn’t want to see Makoto kiss anyone, he belonged to him, but at the same time he needed to know if he would go through with it, knowing Haruka was watching.

Makoto leant down towards Gou and quickly placed his lips against her cheek before pulling away with a step back.

“Bye then.” She said, frowning in disappointment.

She glanced towards Haruka slightly, her eyebrows furrowed as if she blamed him for her boyfriend’s lack of intimacy. He supposed in a way he was responsible but not how she thought. She turned from both boys and walked down the corridor, her arms tightly crossed over her chest in annoyance.

“I have to get to my lesson.” Makoto spoke up, bringing Haruka’s focus back to him.

“Same.” He agreed, neither boy making an effort to move.

“I’ll see you after class.” He smiled, Haruka offering a small smile in return.

“Yeah, you will.”

…

Haruka walked along the front, listening to the sounds of the sea crashing against the shore combined with Makoto’s mindless chatter.

He felt himself frowning as they journeyed, it felt just like before, almost as if everything that was said between them, everything that had happened between them, meant nothing and they were back to mere friends. Filling the time until Gou would be back for Makoto, take what he loved and never return it.

“When are you going to tell her?” Haruka asked, interrupting Makoto’s sentence that he’d long since stopped listening to.

“Soon.” Makoto replied, Haruka getting sick of the word.

It was all he had heard for a week and yet it didn’t provide him with any comfort. Soon didn’t hold him late at night while he lay awake, soon didn’t lovingly kiss him when he frowned, soon didn’t pleasure him until he was breathless and begging for more.

Soon, it seemed, wasn’t soon enough.

“So you’ve said.” He huffed, turning to look towards the sea.

“Well I mean it, I will tell her soon.” Makoto defended, using that ugly word again.

“When?” He insisted.

“Tonight.” He admitted, causing Haruka to freeze slightly.

“Really?” He asked, not wanting to get his hopes lifted again.

“Really.” He nodded, turning back towards the other boy who still hadn’t moved. “I’m taking her out to dinner and I’m going to tell her everything, tell her about us.”

“And then we’ll be together?” Haruka nervously asked.

“And then we’ll be together.” He confirmed with a nod.

Haruka slowly processed his words, being together with Makoto. Being able to hold him when he wanted, kiss him when he wanted, let the world know how their hearts belong to one another.

Makoto held his hand out towards the other, who still hadn’t started walking. Slowly Haruka brought his own hand up and tightly gripped onto Makoto, the most physical contact they’d had since the night in the locker room.

“Come on Haru, let’s get home.” He said, giving a slight pull on the other until his feet were once again moving.

They fell back into the familiar routine, Makoto chattering away, words sweeping over Haruka, who allowed himself to be reassured by the comfort of his tone. The only difference now was the warmth surrounding his hand, keeping him close, keeping him safe, keeping him loved.

…

Makoto bounced nervously on the balls of his feet as he waited outside the restaurant, he’d already got a text from Gou saying she was running late and to meet her there, but that didn’t stop the nerves brewing in his stomach.

He was going to come clean tonight, confess to all his sins and pray he didn’t break her heart.

He feared for her reaction. The Matsuoka siblings both had short tempers, and while he’d never been on the receiving end of her anger he had seen her in action and he was dreading having that aimed towards him.

Then again he deserved it. He deserved her to hate him. He deserved her to slap him, to shout at him, to belittle him until he was left as nothing more than a guilty husk.

But he’d have Haruka. The other boy would pick up the pieces and put him back together, ease any pain he had and make everything alright again. His best friend had that power within him, even if the other didn’t realise the ray of light he was.

“Mako-chan!” Gou shouted, running up to him and tightly wrapping her arms around his waist.

“Hey.” He smiled, overly aware of how short she was when he held her like this.

Almost too short – with Haruka he could rest his chin on his head, let the shorter boy fit into him as if they were a puzzle, but Gou was too far away. He always ended up with a stiff neck from bending down so far. He had used to find it endearing, adorable even, now he found it annoyed him no end.

“Now, please don’t be mad at me.” She said hesitantly, stepping back from him.

“Why?” Makoto questioned, unsure as to any way he should be the one who was mad.

“Well Hana-chan came back to my place after we’d shopped to pick out my outfit tonight…” She started getting cut off by Makoto.

“Which looks great by the way.” He complimented automatically.

“Thanks.” She smiled before continuing her tale. “And my mum was floating around and asked me where I was going so I told her you were taking me out somewhere special. Then she started complaining that she’d never met you despite that we’d been dating for so long. She just kept on about it, asking and asking when you would meet.”

Makoto’s eyes widened at Gou’s ramblings. He really hoped this wasn’t headed where he thought.

“So, long story short, I may have invited my mum tonight.” Gou bite her lip slightly.

“What?” He cried out, louder than he’d expected.

“I’m sorry, I knew you’d be mad. You really wanted us to be alone and I ruined it.” She pouted slightly, looking up at Makoto with large eyes that threatened to spill tears.

“No, it’s fine, honestly.” He held up his hands in reassurance. “It’s a surprise but it’s fine.”

“Thanks Makoto, I know Mum will adore you.” She gushed, taking his hand and leading him inside.

This wasn’t fine, he was planning to come clean tonight and he couldn’t do that in front of her mother. He felt himself deflating a little, another day would pass and Gou still wouldn’t know the truth and Haruka would still get hurt.

…

Makoto glanced down at his phone as Gou and her mother chattered away happily. He knew Haruka would be waiting for a call or even a text to confirm that everything had gone according to plan, that everything was right.

However, he was a coward, looking for any excuse to back out, the fear of hurting anyone still weighing heavy on his heart. But, the longer he waited the more he caused pain.

“I’m just going to the bathroom.” Gou announced, pushing herself back from the table.

“Right, okay.” Makoto smiled guiltily, knowing he’d barely paid either woman any attention since they’d sat down to dinner.

Gou’s mum watched as her daughter left the table, Makoto nervously chewing on his lip as he tried to think of something to talk about. He cursed himself for not listening and therefore lacking any knowledge of her.

“Makoto, can I say something?” The woman asked, turning her attention back towards the table.

“Sure.” He smiled, relieved he didn’t have to string a sentence together unaided.

“I just want to say thank you.” She told him, a soft smile spreading across her cheeks.

“What for?” He asked, nervously scratching the back of his neck. He didn’t deserve to be thanked.

“For always taking care of my children.” She said, reaching across the table and giving his hand a tight squeeze.

“Children?” He questioned, eyes crinkling in confusion. “Rin?”

“Yeah.” She smiled fondly at the mention of her son. “I remember when we moved here and he started school, I was always a little worried about him. I love him dearly but he can be difficult at times.” She laughed slightly, Makoto finding himself nodding in agreement. “But after his first day he told me all about his new friend Mako-chan. He told me how kind you were and how friendly you were.”

“Really?” He questioned, never really been told by Rin how much he cared.

“Of course, there was always that Haruka kid but you were definitely the first one to reach out to him. Always his favourite.” She winked, pulling her hands back. “And now it seems you’ve won over Gou as well with your charm. I’m not sure how you do it but my children can’t resist you. I know you’ll look after them.”

“Thank you.” He replied, taking a large gulp of his drink to push down the lump in his throat.

The kind words causing his eyes to sting. He wouldn’t look after Gou, he wasn’t worthy of the compliments he was receiving.

“Everything okay?” Gou asked, returning to the table.

“Of course, everything’s fine.” Her mum responded, offering Makoto a knowing smile that he half-heartedly returned. He felt awful.

…

Haruka stared down at his phone, waiting for it to ring, wishing he could just hear Makoto’s voice.

He’d met Gou for dinner at seven and now it was half past nine, surely he couldn’t still be with her. If he’d told her the truth then she would have gone by now. Run off in her pain to be alone, then he would have called.

Unless he never told her, instead he went home with her and that’s why he wasn’t calling Haruka. He was too busy pleasuring Gou, secretly laughing at Haruka for believing that he’d actually leave her, believing that he actually meant something to him, believing that he actually loved him.

He shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts, he was being paranoid there was a logical explanation for why Makoto hadn’t called him.

Maybe the twins demanded his attention, maybe his mother needed his help with something, maybe his father had roped him into watching the match or maybe he’d fallen asleep.

Before he’d registered his thumbs moving Makoto’s contact card appeared on his phone, with a sigh he pressed the call button. He hated to seem clingy but he needed to speak to him, needed the reassurance.

He listened to the tinny call sound in his ear, lasting far too long for his liking. He knew Makoto, he knew he would have seen the call by now. He would be debating answering, watching as Haruka’s name flashed across the screen and wondering whether to avoid him.

“Hey Haru.” Makoto finally answered, his tone laced with guilt.

“You didn’t tell her.” Haruka said, no question. He could tell.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” He questioned, his voice cracking slightly.

“I couldn’t Haru, she brought her mother with her it wouldn’t have been fair to her. It would have embarrassed her if we weren’t alone.” Makoto explained.

Haruka remained silent. He knew Makoto was right. It wouldn’t have been fair to tell her then but still he wished, for once, that Makoto wasn’t so caring. That he’d been a little selfish so Haruka could finally have him, hold him tight without having to worry about the other person in his life. But instead, Haruka was left waiting, waiting until the moment Makoto would be his.

“I’m sorry.” Makoto repeated to Haruka’s silence, even over the phone he could tell he was upset.

“Can you come over?” He asked, completely ignoring Makoto’s apology.

“Haru, you know I can’t.” He sighed into the phone.

“I just want to see you, Makoto.” He admitted.

“I want to see you too.”

“Please.” He whispered, his grip on the phone tightening.

“Just let me tuck the twins into bed and I’ll come over.” Makoto said, Haruka’s heart soaring at the thought of being with him.

“Thanks.” Haruka’s quiet voice said. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He replied after a moment before hanging up, a small smile playing on Haruka’s lips at his words.

…

Haruka watched as Makoto slept, the moonlight seeping through the still open curtains and eliminating his perfect, naked body. They lay so close that each breath he took blew Haruka’s dark hair slightly, his soft breathing fanning his flushed cheeks.

They hadn’t meant for anything to happen. They were supposed to have just been spending time together as they used to, but as soon as Haruka had seen him he couldn’t control himself. He had latched his lips onto him almost immediately, and when he didn’t get pushed away but he was instead guided towards his room, his hands had quickly disposed the barrier between them until they had fallen back on his bed completely bare.

Makoto had objected slightly but once Haruka had begun lazily pumping his arousal the protests died on his lips until he was pleading for more. Pinning the smaller boy down onto the bed and pounding him into the mattress until they both climaxed with a cry of the others’ name.

Makoto moaned slightly in his sleep, a cheeky smile spreading across his lips to accompany the noise. Haruka knew that smile, he’d seen that smile enough times now that he could say exactly what Makoto was dreaming about.

He shook his head slightly with a fond smile. Even after tonight Makoto still dreamt of intimacy, needing more satisfaction as he slept. Had before not been enough?

Unless he was dreaming about someone else, a curvaceous red-head rather than a stoic dark haired boy. Haruka felt himself turn cold all over. He would never know who plagued Makoto’s dreams, who drove him crazy with just one look, whose touch burnt him until he was desperate for more, whose name he chanted with passion when he was alone.

Almost sensing the other boy’s discomfort Makoto stirred, lazy eyes peeking open, blurry from sleep.

“Are you okay?” He asked, yawning loudly.

“I’m fine.” Haruka lied, Makoto picking up on it easily even in his sleepy state.

“Come here.” He said, pulling Haruka into his arms and swiftly falling back into his slumber.

Although he was wrapped up in his arms he couldn’t help but wonder if he knew it was him he held or if in Makoto’s sleep deprived mind he thought only of Gou.

Makoto had wrapped himself fully around the smaller boy, all his limbs tightly holding him close despite the heat of the night. Ordinarily this would bother Haruka, his own body growing clammy from the close contact of another, but tonight he needed it. He needed to be held close, needed to feel that he was truly loved because in the back of his mind he wasn’t so sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone loves a needy Haru :) also I may have accidentally Makorined a bit in this chapter. Oops :p


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth you're my little star!

The sun shone brightly through the bedroom window, illuminating the entire room. Ordinarily this would have woken Haruka up but today that had been achieved by small kisses to his cheek, eyelids and foreheads, by far the best way he'd ever been woken up.

Once awake, the kisses became heavy and passionate until Haruka found himself straddling Makoto, cursing the barrier of boxers between them.

"I made breakfast." Makoto said breathlessly, pulling away from the other boy's lips.

"In a minute." Haruka mumbled, rolling his hips against the other to show that he wasn't the only thing Makoto had managed to rouse this morning.

"Haru, we don't have time for that." He moaned, his head falling back onto the pillow.

"We have plenty of time, it's still early." He replied, finishing his sentence with a kiss to Makoto's exposed neck.

"What about school?" Makoto asked, a slight laugh in his tone.

"It's not going anywhere." Haruka said defiantly, returning to the task at hand.

He kissed down Makoto's neck, savouring the way his Adam's apple quivered underneath his lips. He moved to the side slightly until his lips found the junction where neck met shoulder, his mouth suckling at the tender skin at the spot.

"Haru." Makoto groaned, gently pushing him off his skin. "No marks, you know that."

At the scolding, Haruka pouted and rolled off the other boy, arms folding as he glared daggers into the wall. He didn't want to hide their relationship, he wanted to brand Makoto, claim him to show the world he belonged to only him. He wanted to watch the blush on Makoto's cheeks as he tried to hide the marks and avoid questions, knowing that the shy boy was a demon behind closed doors.

"Maybe I should, just so you can't keep hiding this." Haruka huffed before climbing out the bed.

"Haru, I don't like this situation any more than you do." Makoto told him, following after him.

"Really?" He asked, spinning around to face the boy behind him. "Because it seems to me you're the only one who can do anything about this situation and yet you don't seem to be!"

Haruka slammed his mouth shut after his little outburst, he didn't enjoy snapping at Makoto but he was getting tired of being second best, being someone to go to for a quick bit of fun but never worthy of being considered serious.

"Haru, I…" Makoto started but soon Haruka cut him off.

"Let's go eat breakfast." He muttered, stalking out his room, not wanting to hear the same line Makoto had been spouting for days on end now.

He couldn't hear the word 'soon' again or he was bound to kill someone, and a small part of him was sure it would be a certain red head. So instead, he avoided the subject and prayed that Makoto could just understand what he needed without words.

In silence, the pair sat down at the table, Haruka digging into the food Makoto had prepared.

"Haru, please talk to me." Makoto pleaded, never touching his own breakfast.

"What do you expect me to say?" He asked between mouthfuls.

"Anything, everything. Tell me what's bothering you." He said, reaching across the table to take a hold of his hand.

"It's nothing." He shrugged.

"Tell me." Makoto instructed him, squeezing his hand.

"I just feel like you're choosing her. I'm waiting for the moment you turn around and tell me to forget everything and then go back to her." He admitted, staring at his food as if it were the most interesting meal on the planet.

"I would never do that." He reassured him.

"You did the first time." Haruka said, regretting the words as he'd said them, not wanting to bring that up again.

"That's different, I was confused and I didn't know what I wanted but I do now. I want you." Makoto smiled, his warm confession making Haruka blush slightly.

"It doesn't seem like it." He mumbled.

"I will tell her…"

"Yeah, I know soon." Haruka cut him off. "But I still feel like I'm just being carried along, and I hate myself for thinking that of you but I do."

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way." Makoto said, crawling around the table until he was on the same side of the table as Haruka before bundling him up in his arms. "I will tell her today, I mean it this time, after swim practice. I will say I need to talk to her and I will tell her everything, about us, and end things with her. For you Haru, I'd do anything. I love you."

"I love you too." He whispered, gripping tightly at the fabric of his shirt as he held him tightly.

The pair would be late for school but at this moment they couldn't bring themselves to care, far to content in each other's arms.

…

For once in his life Haruka couldn't wait until swim practice was over and Makoto could finally talk to Gou. It was a Friday, which meant Rei and Nagisa would be in a rush to leave for god only knows what reason, resulting in no interruptions. Haruka had already decided he'd get out the pool tonight without any arguments. He would wait outside the school gates while the couple talked until Makoto would finally join him, a free man for the taking.

He was so focused on his excitement that he barely registered the enthusiastic chatter around him or Makoto walking past and delivering a sharp pinch to his butt cheek, earning a yelp from him.

Rei and Nagisa turned towards him with looks of confusion, clearly both missing the act but catching the noise.

"Are you okay Haru-senpai?" Rei asked, tilting his head to the side in concern.

"I'm fine." He muttered in response, leaning forward so his hair covered his blushing cheeks.

"Are you sure?" He continued, only getting a nod out of the other boy.

"But Haru-chan, you haven't even changed yet." Nagisa said, causing Haruka to do a quick scan of the room to realise that everyone else was already in their swimwear.

"Haru is obviously distracted." Makoto spoke up for him.

"That means we can be the first in the pool for once!" Nagisa cried out, bouncing on his feet in excitement. "Come on Rei-chan!"

"Nagisa! Don't!" Rei protested but the bubbly blonde either didn't hear or simply ignored him in favour of dragging the other boy into the pool with him.

Makoto watched them go with a shake of his head before heading in the same direction as the pair. He paused briefly next to Haruka and leaned in to place a quick, tender kiss on his cheek.

"See you out there Haru." He whispered, heading outside.

Haruka felt his cheeks burning again after Makoto's unexpected attack. He supposed once they were together he'd get used to the affection and stop reacting so strongly. Least he hoped so, or he imagined he'd be teased mercilessly for it.

…

Once Haruka stepped out into the sun he heard the familiar squealing of Gou filling the air. A rather large part of him hoped she'd quit when Makoto dumped her so he wouldn't have to see her on a daily basis anymore. He glanced over to the sound to see Makoto holding her tightly around the waist while Nagisa held onto her legs, he couldn't help but glare as the scene unfolded.

"I swear to god I will kill you both if you drop me in." She cried as the boys stepped nearer the edge of the pool.

"It's worth it Gou-chan." Nagisa giggled, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Makoto, if you love me at all you'll save me!" She pleaded, but judging by Makoto's smirk she was going in.

"I love you even more when you're wet." He joked, Haruka clenching his hands tightly at the blatant flirting occurring.

"Mako-chan!" Nagisa screeched. "Save it for the bedroom."

"Rei! Help me!" Gou cried in a final attempt at rescue but the blue haired boy just watched helplessly from the pool as she was thrown through the air and into the cold water, Nagisa and Makoto jumping in after her.

With a big gasp Gou emerged from the water, her hair sticking to her face as the cool liquid dripped down her cheeks.

"I'm going to kill you!" She cried, lunging through the water towards Makoto.

With small fists she punched Makoto in the chest, his strong muscles barely reacting to the repetitive hits.

"Okay, I'm sorry." He laughed, trying to catch her hands.

Grabbing a fist securely in each hand he spun her around, trapping her with her back pressed to his chest.

"Let me go! My uniform is going to stink of chlorine." She complained, wriggling around in her boyfriend's hold.

"Relax Gou-chan, it's Friday you have all weekend to wash it." Nagisa shrugged, splashing her in the face.

He laughed as he watched Gou squirm in Makoto's arms, anger burning in her eyes as she tried to break free.

"I'm not going to let you go when you're this angry." Makoto informed her, using the voice he usually reserved for Ren and Ran.

"Fine, I'm calm." Gou sighed. "Just let me go so I can get out the pool."

"As you wish my love." Makoto said, Haruka's heart breaking at the pet name.

Once she was released Gou jumped at Nagisa, pushing the unsuspecting boy under the water as her own personal revenge.

"Gou!" Makoto scolded, a small smile on his lips anyway.

"Sorry, I'm done now." She apologised.

She waded through the water as fast as the restriction would allow before reaching the steps, pulling herself out with a great sigh. She pouted as the water dripped from her body in a little puddle at her feet, she wrung her hair out and looked towards Haruka, the first time he'd been acknowledged since he'd stepped outside.

"Ah, Haru. Can I borrow your towel?" She asked, stretching her arm out towards the boy.

At the sound of the other boy's name Makoto spun around in the pool, his eyes wide with guilt as he took in his appearance. He was shaking slightly with anger, his hand tightly gripping his towel with such force his knuckles were white, his eyes burnt with betrayal.

Haruka's gaze quickly flickered between Gou and Makoto before he whipped the towel into a heap at Gou's feet.

"Thanks." She muttered, bending down to grab the towel, standing up again only to see Haruka's retreating form. "Come back! We've got practice."

"Haru! Wait!" Makoto shouted, quickly exiting the pool and running after his best friend.

The three junior students stared at the empty space in confusion, wondering what they'd missed to cause such a reaction from the pair.

"Just because two of our members are missing doesn't mean you can slack off." Gou announced, turning back towards the boys in the pool.

"But Gou-chan can't we…" Nagisa started but was soon cut off by Gou's shouting.

"Swim! Now!"

"Okay!" Rei and Nagisa exclaimed, jumping at the raised voice.

…

Haruka blindly grabbed at his clothes, cursing the unshed tears that blurred his vision slightly but he fought through it. He knew everyone would wonder why he'd disappeared at the beginning of practice but at this point he didn't care, he just needed to get away, he needed to breathe, he needed to clear his head.

"Haru?" Makoto asked quietly, standing in the doorway to the changing room.

"Not now Makoto!" He snapped, hands fumbling uselessly at his belongings.

"We need to talk." Makoto said, crossing the short distance between them.

"No we don't." Haruka groaned as he dropped all his clothes in a heap at his feet.

"Please." He pleaded softly, reaching out and placing a hand on Haruka's shoulder.

"Okay, you want to talk? Let's talk!" He shouted, spinning around and roughly pushing Makoto's hand off him. "You were never going to tell her, were you? I mean, why would you? You've got us both exactly where you want us and you know that I'm just stupid enough to sit here and wait for you. But not anymore. Unless you go tell her now this is over!"

"I can't with Rei and Nagisa here." He said calmly.

"Isn't that convenient?" Haruka sneered, turning his back towards the other boy.

"Haru…"

"I'm done, I can't deal with this pain anymore." He whispered, his voice cracking slightly. "I thought it was bad before but it's nothing compared to this. Least then I knew where I stood, I knew it was hopeless. Then you give me just a little glimmer of hope and I get carried away, think I'm finally going to get you. But that was stupid, why should you stay with me when nobody else ever does."

Makoto felt his throat turn dry at the words. There it was, Haruka's biggest insecurity, one he always promised himself that he would never be the cause of. He wanted to make sure Haruka always knew how much he valued him, how much he cared about him, provide him with the reassurance that he'd never leave his side no matter what happened.

"I need to be alone." Haruka whispered, his hands tightly gripping the wooden lockers as if they were the only things supporting his body.

With a glance towards the door Makoto heard the sounds of Gou's encouraging shouts and the sounds of water parting to make way for the swimmers. He decided they wouldn't be disturbed for a while. He walked around Haruka, ducking down and under his arms until he was trapped between the boy and the lockers.

"What are you doing?" Haruka asked, eyes tightly shut.

"I need you to listen to me, okay?" He asked, reaching up and stroking his face, Haruka's eyes flying open from the contact.

"Fine." He nods, Makoto almost breathless when he sees the pain in his lover's eyes.

"I'm never going to leave you, okay? I just couldn't do it. You can try to get rid of me but I'm not going anywhere, I need you too much." He leaned in and kissed Haruka, trying to hide his disappointment when the other's lips didn't respond.

"What about Gou?" Haruka asked in a small voice.

"What about her? She's nothing compared to you." He reassured him.

"It didn't seem like it out there." He mumbled, eyes flaring up with jealousy once again.

"That was Nagisa's idea, we were just messing around. I care about her, Haru. She's a very important person to me, but not like you. You're the one I love."

Haruka felt relief spread through his veins at the words, he knew Makoto loves him, he trusts the boy with his whole life, his complete heart. He knows he would never hurt him and he felt slightly ashamed for ever thinking otherwise.

"I'm sorry about what I said, I didn't mean…" Haruka started to apologise but swiftly got cut off by Makoto.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, if anything I should be apologising to you. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, I'm sorry I didn't realise early how upset it was making you but I promise it will be over so soon." He kissed him again, breathing a sigh of relief when it was reciprocated. "I love you."

"Why?" Haruka asked with a shy smile.

"I love your little smile that you always try to hide. I love that you're so reckless and passionate." Makoto kissed any patch of skin he could find after each one of his reasons. "I love that you're amazing at everything you do. I love that you go after what you want. I love that you got me to finally see how important you are to me. I love when you get all jealous over me. I love that this time tomorrow it will just be the two of us, nobody else."

"Ah." Haruka gasped as he felt Makoto kiss the sensitive area at the base of his neck. He quickly brought his hand up to his mouth as Makoto continued his affections.

"I love it when you squirm and try to hide your moans." He smirked against his skin, relishing in the small sounds that escaped Haruka's lips as he breathed against his neck.

Makoto nipped at his skin, sucking hard until a red bruise appeared on the other boy's neck.

"I thought we weren't allowed to leave marks." He moaned loudly.

"I'm through with hiding this." Makoto stated, moving to the other side of his neck to leave an identical brand.

Satisfied with his work, Makoto pulled his lips away and trailed them down Haruka's chest, taking his nipple inside his mouth and sucking harshly, his hand palming Haruka's growing erection through his swimsuit.

"Makoto, we shouldn't." He gasped, casting a nervous glance towards the door before he cried out as the other boy firmly took hold of his cock.

"I can't help it." He whispered, rolling his nipple between his teeth. "When I'm around you I lose control."

Makoto pulled away from his chest to drop gracefully to his knees, smirking up Haruka. His breathing had become erratic and his heartbeat strong with anticipation with what was about to come.

Reaching up he gently rolled the swimsuit until it rested around Haruka's ankles, allowing his cock freedom and to lightly graze Makoto's cheek as it stood to attention.

"I can always stop Haru." He purred, running his tongue down from the tip to the balls.

"No, not now." He said breathlessly.

"Good, because I don't want to." He whispered, leaning forward to place a kiss on the head.

Haruka moaned loudly as Makoto's tongue slipped between his lips to gently brush the slit that was now leaking with pre-cum.

"So eager Haru-chan, and we've barely even started." Makoto teased, Haruka in too much pleasure to reprimand him for an inappropriate use of his childhood nickname.

Dropping his jaw, Makoto let the head of Haruka's cock slide between his lips, sucking as he took the impressive length inside.

...

Gou glanced towards the doors of the locker room, waiting for her smiling boyfriend and his reluctant best friend to immerge but the pair never seemed to arrive.

"What are they doing in there?" She asked, not expecting a response but she received one anyway.

"Maybe they're having a heart to heart." Nagisa suggested, bringing Gou's attention back to the pool where the pair stood. Well Rei stood, Nagisa was latched onto the other boy, legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

"For this long?" She questioned sceptically. It had to have been at least ten minutes since they'd both run off.

"Haru-senpai did seem quite upset." Rei said, his voice strained slightly from the added weight.

"Maybe I should go check on them." She bit her lip slightly, turning back towards the door.

"Just let them have their moment Gou-chan." Nagisa giggled.

"They can have a moment once practice is finished." She said definitively, walking towards the door.

"Gou, I don't recommend that." Rei called out to her. "The fact that they have remained inside indicates they wish to be left alone. They could be quite upset if you disturb."

"You worry too much Rei." She dismissed his concerns with a wave of her hand. "It will be fine." With a self-assured nod Gou walked towards the changing rooms.

Once inside she wished she'd listening to Rei's warning. She found herself frozen in her spot, unable to look away from the sight in front of her.

Haruka standing completely naked, swimsuit in a pool around his ankles, body lent forward slightly so his hands can rest against the wooden lockers. But that's not what shocks her, that's not what rips her heart right out of her chest. What really breaks her is in front of Haruka, trapped between the boy and the lockers.

Her eyes widen in pain as she watches her boyfriend kneeling before the other, as she watches her boyfriend's head gently bobbing up and down, cheeks hallowed out as he sucks, as watches her boyfriend's eyes scrunch slightly, a low hum of appreciation escaping his mouth quickly followed by a moan from the other.

"Makoto… I'm going to cum." Haruka moaned out, such confidence and assurance in his voice that she can immediately tell this is not a one-time occurrence.

"Then cum for me." Makoto said, his tone thick with lust in a way she'd never heard before.

He increased the pace in which he moved, eyes locked with Haruka as the obscene slurping noise coming from his mouth echoed around the room. Each one like a dagger in Gou's heart.

"Ah… Yes!" Haruka cried, his hips bucking as his climax hits him.

Gou eyes tear up as she watches the scene, her boyfriend's mouth, that she'd lovingly kissed, soiled by his supposed best friend. Her body shook with agony as he watched him swallow the release, his smile loving and warm, one that he only ever had around Haruka.

"Makoto?" Her broken voice finally called out, both the boys turning to the sound, neither aware of the audience they'd received until that moment.

Their eyes were wide with a mixture of guilt and shock, neither one able to comprehend what had happened, neither one able to form any words to explain the situation. Instead all they could do is stare at the heartbroken girl from across the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It happened, Gou found out :o such scandal!
> 
> And it might be a little late depending where you are but Happy Easter!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is :) another chapter!
> 
> Also I inspired art! I'm literally screaming I'm so excited! It's amazing, go check it out :D http://amaiyuzuki564.deviantart.com/art/He-is-the-Air-456089331

"Gou!" Makoto shouted, finally finding his voice and pushing himself onto his feet.

As if he suddenly remembered how exposed he was, Haruka grabbed his swimsuit off the floor and pulled it up, turning towards the door where the girl stood, silent tears streaming down her face.

"I can explain." Makoto said, taking a slow step towards her.

The movement of the taller boy brought Gou back to life, her feet no longer rooted to the floor.

"No." She whispered, shaking her head and backing away from the others in the room.

"Please." He tried again, reaching his hand out to her, but she wouldn't accept it.

"No!" She screamed, slapping his hand away and running out the room.

As soon as she began to flee Makoto was hot on her tail, following after her and leaving Haruka standing alone in the changing room without even offering him a glance back.

Rei and Nagisa exited the pool when they heard Gou's scream only to be knocked out the way by the girl running out the changing room, her eyes red with tears.

"Gou-kun!" Rei called after her as she ran from the pool. "Are you okay?"

Before they had a chance to chase after her to provide some comfort Makoto came skidding out the door, face flushed red with embarrassment.

"Gou! Please wait!" He cried, tearing off on the same route the young girl had just gone.

The two boys watched the departing couple in confusion. What had happened that would have caused Gou to cry like that? Gou was one of the strongest girls they both knew. It was clearly important if Makoto had chased after her without giving himself time to get dressed again.

"I wonder what's wrong." Nagisa questioned, tilting his head to one side in confusion.

"I'm not sure. Maybe Haru-senpai knows." Rei offered, ready to turn to and find the boy in question but a voice called out showing he'd already arrived.

"Practice is cancelled." He announced, his face void of any true emotions but the marks on skin told a different story.

"Why?" Nagisa whined, Rei shaking his head slightly as this was a topic they should be avoiding right now.

"Personal reasons." He told him, shooting Nagisa a look.

"Alright, fine." He sighed, deciding that dropping the subject was best.

The three boys entered the changing room in silence and redressed themselves as if it was the end of any other practice. The silence was thick in the room but they all found they had other things to think about rather than attempting conversation.

After seeing Gou crying, Makoto flustered, and the love bites around Haruka's neck it didn't take long for the first years to put two and two together. Despite drawing this conclusion neither boy could fully accept it. They'd always known that Makoto and Haruka had been close, closer than any best friends they'd ever seen, but to go behind Gou's back like that didn't seem like something that either boy would do.

Once dressed the two younger boys left, offering Haruka a nod as goodbye, still unable to form complete sentences in this tension. Haruka watched them leave with a sigh. They were speechless now but he was sure as soon as they reached the train Nagisa would come up with various theories as to what was going on.

He just hoped he didn't shout them out too loudly on the train, especially the far more outrageous ones he would create. They could all do without the rumours.

Grabbing the clothes Makoto had forgotten in his locker he too left, planning to head home and wait. Despite that thought, he kept his eyes peeled the whole way, hoping maybe to find his best friend and his once girlfriend.

…

Makoto had never been so thankful for his extremely long legs in all his life. He'd managed to catch up to Gou in a few strides as she headed towards her home.

"Gou, wait!" He called, reaching out and taking hold of her wrist.

"Don't touch me!" She cried, pulling her arm away and finally stopping in her tracks.

"I need to explain to you what happened." Makoto attempted, knowing he really had no words to offer her that would provide any form of assurance.

"I don't need you to explain! I saw it all with my own god damn eyes!" She turned on him, her eyes red with pain and rage.

Makoto felt his heart break at the sight, this was exactly what he had wanted to avoid. He'd never meant to hurt anyone, he hated himself for the pain he'd caused Gou. He wished he could turn back time and stop Gou from walking in on them, he wished he'd told her at the very beginning rather than dragging it on, making it far worse than it could have been.

"I can't believe I was so stupid!" Gou yelled, running her fingers through her hands. "I always noticed the way Haru looked at you, he practically worships you, but I just thought it was because you were his best friend. I didn't realise it was because you two do  _that_  together!"

"I didn't want you to find out that way." Makoto sighed, looking down at his feet in disgust at himself. He was an awful person.

"That way? What good way is there to find that out?" She asked, gesturing angrily at him with each question. "Over dinner? Yes waiter I'll have the chicken, by the way Gou I'm gay, and a glass of water?"

"I'm so sorry." He said, looking into her eyes.

He hoped she could understand how guilty he felt, how much he regretted what he had done to her. Sorry was such a generic word, it couldn't portray how much he wanted to apologise, how much he craved forgiveness for his misdeed.

"Sorry's not good enough." She told him, turning and walking off.

Makoto knew he should let her go, let her calm down before he even attempted to talk to her but he couldn't bring himself to do so. The guilt was too much for him. Now that it was all out in the open he needed to tell her everything, from start to finish. She needed the truth.

"Please Gou I need to talk to you." He shouted after her, grabbing her wrist for a second time.

"Not now Makoto!" She warned him, her shoulders rising and falling rapidly with her ragged breath.

"I need to tell you about…" He started but his sentence was cut short by a slap to his cheek.

He pulled his hand away from her wrist in shock, bringing it up to rub his now red face. Gou was never one to resort to violence, it was in that moment he fully understood how much he'd hurt her, how much he'd broken her and her heart.

"Leave me alone." She hissed, storming off once again and this time Makoto let her go.

…

Haruka sat on his bed, staring at the pile of Makoto's clothes on the end of his bed. He hadn't expected him to run into his arms the second he'd broken up with Gou, but he'd at least expected to hear from him by now.

With a sigh Haruka grabbed the clothes in his hands, deciding it was time he took the initiative and sought out Makoto himself. He slipped on his shoes and started the familiar journey to his best friend's house.

Once he'd rung the door Makoto's mother opened the door with a smile.

"Oh Haru-chan! What a pleasant surprise." She gushed.

Before he had a chance to complain about the use of 'chan' he was being ushered inside and offered a drink.

"I'm fine thanks." He tried to decline but she'd already begun to boil the kettle.

"Nonsense! You can't come all this way and not have a drink." She scolded lightly, a happy glint in her eyes.

Haruka chose not to remind her that the walk had barely taken him five minutes and instead accepted the drink.

"Where's Makoto?" He asked casually, blowing the steam rising off his drink.

"Oh my poor little Mako-chan!" She cried, clasping her hands together over her chest. "Already in bed when I came home from work, said he thought he was coming down with something."

"Right." Haruka nodded.

"Did he seem okay at school?" She asked, concern clear in her eyes.

"He left practice early." He shrugged, as if it explained any possible illness he could have. "I'll go check on him."

"Of course." She smiled, knowing the boys often cared for each other when they were ill. "If he's awake please get him to eat or drink something."

"Sure." He reassured her before bounding up the stairs.

He lightly stepped as he passed the twins' door, knowing full well that the slightest noise could wake the pair. A fact he'd found out the hard way, ending up getting roped into playing school at three in the morning one fateful weekend.

Once Haruka reached Makoto's door he offered a soft knock, when there was no response he pushed the door open to see the whole room shrouded in darkness.

"Makoto?" He said quietly, not wanting to potentially wake the other boy up.

Makoto groaned slightly at the noise but never woke, instead he shuffled around on the bed until he found a position deemed comfy before settling himself into it with a sigh. Haruka walked towards the bed, careful to avoid any of the floorboards he knew would creak under his weight.

He bent down by the bed and gently stroked Makoto's soft, chocolate locks with a smile. He looked so peaceful as he slept, a soft smile on his lips as he dreamed. Haruka felt his heart swell with love as he watched him, he was utterly perfect and now, finally, he was all his.

"I love you." He whispered, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead before standing tall and leaving the room.

"Haru-chan." Makoto's mother said, standing in the hallway waiting for him.

He jumped slightly at the voice, wondering if she had heard what he'd said to her son, if she had seen what he'd done.

"Yes?" He asked tentatively, turning around the face the older woman.

"We have a lot a spare food from dinner, take some home won't you? I'd just have to throw it away otherwise." She smiled, so similar to Makoto's smile that he'd grown to love.

"Thanks, but I can't take food from you." He tried to decline but as usual she was having none of it.

"Don't be ridiculous! You'd be doing me a favour." She said dismissively, grabbing his hand and dragging him towards the kitchen.

She packed Haruka up enough food to last him well over a week and with a quick hug she sent him on his way, insisting that he too should get some sleep.

…

Makoto walked towards the school gates. His mother had tried to convince him to stay at home after yesterday but he insisted he felt better this morning. He glanced to the empty space beside him. He'd texted Haruka when he'd woken up to tell him he wouldn't be able to come meet him. He hoped his friend understood. He needed to explain everything to Gou, get her to finally listen to him before he even considered his relationship with Haruka.

He had almost reached school when he was roughly grabbed by his collar and thrown against the nearest wall. He winced as the brick hit his back, looking down to see his attacker and meeting angry, red eyes.

"Rin?" He asked, nervously squirming against the wall.

"Care to tell me what the fuck you did to my sister?" Rin shouted, pushing him further into the wall. Makoto not even bothering to fight back, he deserved everything Rin would give him.

"We broke up." He offered, not wanting to anger Rin any further than he was.

"And why is that?" He asked, his tone implying he already knew exactly what Makoto had done but just wanted to hear him say it.

"I… I… I'm sorry." He apologised, not wanting to say the horrible truth out loud.

"What did you do?" Rin yelled, twisting the hand that held Makoto's collar so that it tightened around his neck.

"I cheated on her, alright!" He choked out, tears leaking from his eyes. "I'm so sorry." Makoto let his head roll forward, staring at his feet. He no longer felt he could look Rin in the eyes, not after everything he'd done to his baby sister. He didn't resent Rin for his anger, he understood it, he accepted it. If any boy broke Ran's heart as he'd broken Gou's his reaction would be exactly the same.

" _Who_  was it?" Rin growled.

"Huh?" Makoto mumbled, trying to register the question.

Had Gou been vague on the details? Had she not told her brother that this whole thing had started because of Haruka? Was it possible that Makoto could salvage a friendship that had only just recently begun again?

"Who was worth hurting my sister?" Rin shouted, pulling Makoto's face up to look at him, a tight grip on his chin to stop him from looking away.

"Nobody." He tried. Haruka had done no wrong, he was the one who cheated not the other way around.

"Tell me!" He yelled, pushing his head against the wall so that Makoto felt each individual brick scraping against the back of his head.

"They're not important!" He cried, eyes shutting tight in pain. "Please, you're not angry at them you're angry at me. Leave them out of this."

"I need to know." He said, squeezing down on Makoto's chin so hard his nails dug into the skin.

"Rin!" A voice called out, both boys turning towards the sound to see a familiar black haired boy, hands clenched tightly in fists as he took in the sight in front of him.

"Haru." Makoto whispered, relief flooding through his veins as his defender walked closer to them.

"Piss off Haru!" Rin threatened. "This doesn't concern you."

"Leave him alone." Haruka warned, completely disregarding the other boy's words.

"It's nothing to do with you." He repeated in a low voice, annoyed that the black haired boy always insisted to be by his best friend's side. For once Rin only wanted Makoto.

"It has everything to do with me." He calmly told him, still walking towards the two boys.

"No, it's to do with him and the slut he cheated with." Rin hissed, turning back towards Makoto in anger.

"Exactly, it involves me." He said, the tension doubling at the confession.

Makoto took a sharp intake of breath as the words carelessly fell from Haruka's mouth. There it was, the ugly truth. Rin's eyes widened in shock as his brain tried helplessly to process this new information.

"No." He shook his head, dropping his hold on Makoto and taking a step back. "No."

"Rin?" Makoto asked, taking a step towards the other boy.

"Him? Really?" He asked, fists clenched tightly by his sides.

"Yes." Makoto confirmed, biting his lip nervously.

"Why?" Rin spat out. Makoto had had Gou, why would he even look twice at Haruka?

"Because we love each other." Haruka answered.

"What about Gou? Did you even care about her?" Rin asked, still not believing the words he was hearing.

"Of course I did, I do. But Haru… He… I'm sorry." Makoto apologised again, knowing there was nothing he could ever do to make this right again.

"You!" Rin shouted, his anger returning full force but directed at a new person. "This is all your fault!"

Makoto watched helplessly as Rin began stalking towards Haruka, backing him against the wall just like he'd done earlier with him.

"Rin please, don't blame Haru." Makoto pleaded.

"You're just petty and jealous! It's pathetic." Rin spat, narrowing his eyes at Haruka. "It's always been the same with you when it comes to Makoto, you don't like anyone getting close to him. You seem to think you have some sort of hold on him, that he belongs to you and you can dictate who he cares about."

"Stop!" Makoto called out, Haruka not even flinching at the insults.

"You're possessive of him, you were when we were kids and you still are. You're controlling and manipulative and one day Makoto is going to realise that and he's going to leave you. Just like everybody else." Rin smirked as he saw his words affect Haruka, as he saw the pain flash across his eyes.

"No, you're wrong." He shook his head, not even wanting to consider a world where Makoto left him. "I love Makoto, more than anyone else ever could. I'm not sorry for what I did and given the choice I'd do it all again. I love him and I'd do anything for him."

"You bastard!" Rin cried, snapping at Haruka's lack of remorse, his lack of regrets.

He pulled his arm back, hand tightly curled in a fist, ready for the attack. With a shout, Makoto pushed Haruka out the line of fire but before he could move himself the fist crashed into his eye, sending his head smashing into the brick wall with a crunch.

"Jesus." Makoto moaned, falling to the ground in pain, tightly clutching his head.

"Makoto!" Haruka exclaimed, dropping to his friend's side to assess the damage.

Haruka smoothed back his hair to check that there was no blood before moving the hand from his eye. It was slightly red and beginning to swell, it would no doubt bruise in the next few hours but overall the damage had been minimal. He smiled slightly in relief as he gently brushed the tears away from Makoto's cheeks in reassurance.

Rin watched the whole display with disgust, Makoto had given up his sister for him. Gou was like sunshine and Haruka was the dark clouds that brought storms with them. But still Makoto loved him, in a way he'd never love Gou. He hated them both, Gou didn't deserve how they treated her. They completely disregarded her feelings and only thought about themselves, they never even considered how broken this would leave Gou. They were disgusting.

"You're both scum and deserve each other." Rin hissed, kicking up some dirt into their faces before turning and walking away, wanting absolutely nothing to do with them anymore.

Makoto watched as the other boy walked away, his words spinning around. He was scum, he was the lowest possible person, he'd promised he'd take care of Gou, he'd promised he'd never break her heart and yet that's exactly what he'd done.

Haruka barely acknowledged Rin's departure or the dirt covering him now, his focus solely on Makoto who seemed to be zoning out on him as he sat on the floor.

"Makoto? Can you hear me?" He asked, slightly concerned that he may have gotten concussion along with his injuries.

"Yeah, I'm fine Haru." He smiled reassuringly but it never reached his eyes.

Makoto pushed himself up again, using both the wall and Haruka to support his body, he took deep breaths while he tried to regain his bearings before stepping back to stand unaided.

"Come on, we're late." Haruka said, taking his hand and trying to lead him towards the school.

"Haru, we need to talk." Makoto said, refusing to be moved.

"What's wrong?" Haruka asked, staring at their hands which were now being wrenched apart.

"I think we should take a break." He told him, biting his lip slightly as he waited for Haruka's reaction.

"What?" He questioned, his heart hurting at the words.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. Haruka took a step forward and firmly gripped Makoto on the shoulder.

"No, we can finally be together, there's nothing stopping us anymore." He said, tightening his hold in desperation, he had to get Makoto to understand, to see the opportunity that was presented to him.

"We can't Haru, not now. Gou's hurting, Rin's hurting, we need to give them time to process this, to move on. It will just make things worse if we start our relationship now." He explained, covering Haruka's hands with his own with the intention of pulling them off but instead holding onto them tightly.

"But, I love you Makoto." Haruka whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.

"And I love you too Haru, but we have to wait." He said, placing his forehead against Haruka's.

"For how long?" He asked, savouring his last moments with Makoto.

"However long it takes." He shrugged slightly. "When we get together I want it to be without all this negativity, I want us to have a fresh start and forget all this. Can you wait for me Haru?"

"Of course, I'll always wait for you." He admitted, letting a small smile appear on his lips.

Smiling brightly back Makoto leant down a softly pressed his lips against Haruka's, their last chance to share their love, their affections, before they continued their charade of a friendship.

"We should really get to school." Makoto whispered breathlessly as they pulled back.

"I'll be there in a bit." Haruka agreed, letting the other disentangle himself from his arms.

"Okay." He smiled sadly before turning on his heel and walking into school.

Once out of sight Haruka leant against the brick wall behind him, letting a deep sigh escape his body. He knew Makoto felt guilty, he knew that he was only doing what he thought was best, but it killed Haruka all the same. He was tired of waiting, he wanted his Makoto, he wanted to let the world know about them, but Makoto continued wanting to hide.

Was he ashamed? He hadn't wanted Gou to find out, he hadn't wanted Rin to find out. Was it possible that Makoto was embarrassed by the feelings they shared? Part of Haruka wanted to shout out the truth so that Makoto could no longer hide, but he knew he never would.

He knew he would wait for him to realise that their love was nothing to be ashamed of, that their love was pure and beautiful no matter what anyone else thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god! Just realised, Chapter 13! Bad luck! Get a black cat stat!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to Zaabeth for going through this!
> 
> Oh god! Less than a week until Free! Eternal Summer! Am I the only one hyperventilating? I cannot control the excitement! Makoharu better become canon this season, that's all I'm saying!

Haruka lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling as his body shivered from a bath overrun again. He didn't care though, he didn't care that the water was dripping off his body and onto the sheets surrounding him. His mind was on other, far more important things.

Makoto.

It had been three weeks and six days since Gou had found out about their relationship. It had been three weeks and five days since Makoto had told Haruka he wanted a break. It had been three weeks and four days since Makoto had spoken to anyone.

When he'd been told their relationship had to be put on hold he had expected to wait a couple of days, a week at most. But here he was, nearing on a month, and he was still no closer to loving Makoto the way he dreamed of.

He knew why their relationship couldn't be – it was all because of Gou. Even when she didn't have her claws in Makoto she still somehow managed to ruin everything. Until Makoto felt she was ready to accept them, it seemed as if he refused to have anything to do with Haruka.

The only good thing Haruka could see from all this was that Gou had quit as the swim club manager, claiming it would be too awkward for her to be around everyone after what had happened. But it also meant, to Makoto, that Gou was still hurting and was not ready to let him go. Leaving Haruka waiting, wanting, all over again.

Makoto had become a ghost of his former self, he never smiled anymore, his face was always set in guilt, thinking of the people he'd wronged, all the people he'd hurt. He turned up for lessons, he joined his friends for lunch, he showed up at practice and did his bit for the team but then he was gone. Never saying a word, never joining in, never laughing, never showing any joy.

Haruka missed Makoto deeply. He missed his smile, he missed his constant chatter, he missed his touch, his kiss. He missed his love.

He'd never really appreciated the phrase you don't know what you've got until it's gone until now. He'd finally got his paradise and it was ripped away from him. Now he was he was struggling to live without it. Haruka would do whatever he could to get it back again.

…

Haruka stood at the end of the corridor, watching as Gou talked to her friend at her locker. As much as he wished he didn't have to he knew he needed to speak to her in order to set things right. They needed closure.

With a deep sigh he silently walked up to the pair, both jumping slightly when his voice broke into their conversation.

"Gou."

"What do you want Haru?" The girl growled, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I want to talk to you. Alone." He said, casting a glance over her shoulder at her friend.

Chigusa glared at the older boy, crossing her arms at him with a permanent scowl. Long gone was the girl who would giggle and blush uncontrollably when he so much as looked at her.

"Not happening." Chigusa answered for Gou, reaching out to gently hold her friends arm.

"I'm not asking you for permission." Haruka snapped at her.

"It's fine Hana-chan, I want to hear what he was to say for himself." Gou announced, holding herself tall to look at the boy in disgust.

"Ah, alright. If that's what you want." Chigusa said, hesitantly leaving the pair alone.

Haruka watched her leave, not wanting to talk until he was fully alone with Gou. This was between the two of them, nobody else had the right to be involved.

"Come on Haru, what did you want to say?" She groaned at his silence.

"I'm sorry." He apologised, knowing that right now those were the words she needed to hear, what she deserved to hear.

"Surprisingly that doesn't make me feel any better." She rolled her eyes.

"You need to forgive Makoto." He begged. It was what the boy deserved too. Makoto knew he had done wrong but he did truly regret it.

"We'll see." She shrugged, Haruka frowning slightly at her purposely difficult attitude.

"Until you're happy he won't be with me. I need you to forgive him so we can be together." He explained, her eyes growing wider as he spoke. "Please."

"Why should I help you? After everything you've done to me do you really think I owe you anything? Do you actually think you deserve my help?" She shouted at him, taking angry steps towards him as she spoke.

Haruka was forced to back up, only being able to supply simple stutters in return to her outburst. He was too overwhelmed with the sudden change of attitude. He knew in hindsight that he should have expected her anger but at the moment he couldn't seem to get his mental footing, to properly defend his actions. As he watched the tears build in Gou's eyes he felt the guilt edging its way into his heart. She was broken just like he'd been.

"I tried to be your friend!" Gou continued loudly. "I made an effort with you! And how did you repay me? By sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back!" She cried, drawing focus from students around them, no doubt getting more than their daily dose of gossip from this fight. "If anything I'm glad he's saying no to you. You might be able to feel a morsel of the heartbreak I felt when I walked in on you two together!"

Slightly embarrassed by her outburst Gou brought her hands up to her eyes to rub away the tears that had spilt down her cheeks.

"You don't deserve his love Haruka." She whispered, walking away from him.

Haruka watched her as she slowly left. This was wrong, they needed her forgiveness to move on, to once again be happy.

"He was mine first." He shouted after her, his mind registering the words after his mouth had shouted them.

Gou spun back around to face him but all her fight was gone. All that remained was the pain she could no longer keep beneath the surface.

"No he wasn't Haruka. I loved him so much you couldn't even understand." She stated.

"That's not true." He told her. "We love each other and we could be together if you'd just give us your blessing."

"All he ever was to you was a possession, a childish little toy that you couldn't stand to share." She said bitterly, the anger slowly returning. "You knew exactly how to manipulate him! How to get him back in your arms! How to monopolise his time once again! But did you ever stop to think how he felt?" She shouted, pushing him against the lockers with fire in her eyes.

"I…" He started but Gou wouldn't let him speak, her fury controlling her far too much now.

"Of course you didn't! You never think of anyone outside of yourself!" She screamed, never caring that everyone around them stared, mouths open wide with shock as the scene unfolded in front of them. "It's all about Haru's needs, Haru's wants, Haru's desires! But if you'd have just thought beyond yourself for one second you might have seen that he was happy and if you really loved him you would have let him go."

Haruka was rendered speechless. She held him against the lockers with a strength he didn't even know she possessed, pure hatred in her eyes as she watched him. Anger shook her whole body as she panted through her tears

"I'm sorry Gou." He apologised again. "I need to know how to make this right again." He meant the words from the bottom of his heart.

He'd always seen Gou as an inconvenience, an obstacle that he had to overcome for his loved ones. But not anymore. Now he saw her for what she really was, a girl who had fallen head over heels for a boy, a boy that was kind, loving, and perfect. Only to have him taken from her, showing that the love she believed to be pure between them was nothing but a facade.

And for that, he was truly sorry.

"There is nothing you can do." She shook her head, dropping her voice dangerously to a hiss. "And I will never give you my blessing."

Roughly pushing herself off of him she left, fighting though the crowds to her next lesson. Her head held high despite the sympathetic glances sent her way. She wanted to show the world she was stronger, that she could come back fighting and didn't need anybody's pity.

…

The swim team were in the pool after school, Makoto once again furiously lapping the pool but never acknowledging the other boys around him.

Haruka watched him helplessly as he drove himself to near exhaustion. He yearned to reach out to him, to hold him close and take away the burden of pain from his shoulders. But he knew Makoto would fight it, he'd say it was wrong, he'd say they were hurting others.

Sometimes Haruka wished he weren't so selfless.

"Makoto!" Four heads snapped in shock to the voice, nobody expecting to see Gou standing at the head of the pool, hands on her hips.

"Gou?" Makoto asked, wiping the moisture from his face.

Haruka's heart leapt at his voice. It was the first time he'd heard the familiar, comforting tone in a long while. It surrounded him from one simple word, holding him, filling his heart with love, reminding him what they had been.

"I need to talk to you." Gou told him, turning and walking away before he'd even responded.

Pulling himself together Makoto rushed out the pool, blindly following after her at great speed. Haruka watched the couple leave with a jealous glare. He'd been ignored by Makoto – the boy refused to talk to him – but once Gou needed him he was there. He wondered if Makoto would ever truly be his or if Gou would always have a hold over him that he could never compare to.

…

Makoto rocked nervously on the balls of his feet as he waited for Gou to speak. She nibbled her lip as she thought of what she wanted to say to him.

He wanted to clear the air between them, he wanted her forgiveness and for her to see how he knew how he'd wronged her. He wanted to put the past in the past and move on. Preferably with Haruka, but he knew he'd played with his heart just as he'd done with Gou's, it wouldn't surprise him if he too wanted nothing more to do with him.

"How long?" Gou asked, finally breaking the silence that had fallen over them.

"Not very long, I promise. A month max." He said, knowing that wouldn't provide her with much solace.

"Only a month? Well that's fine then." She scoffed.

"What does it matter how long it was?" He asked, exasperated. "It shouldn't have happened at all, I know that, but I am deeply sorry for it. You have to know that."

"I know, but no matter how many times I hear it, it won't make a difference. Do you realise how much you've humiliated me? My boyfriend cheated on me, with another boy of all things!" She shouted, hysterically.

"You didn't deserve that and I hate myself so much for being the one to make you feel that way. All I wanted was to make you happy and I failed." Makoto sighed, looking down in shame.

"Wasn't I enough for you?" She asked, Makoto's head snapping up again at the sound of her tears.

"Gou, this is not your fault. You were absolutely perfect." He assured her.

Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around her waist, expecting her to push him away in anger but instead she crumbled, accepting the embrace and sobbing into his chest. She needed the comfort, after staying strong for so long she needed the release.

"I loved you so much Makoto, why couldn't you love me back?" She asked through her tears.

"I did, I do, just not the way you wanted me to." He said, gently rocking her from side to side as he often would do when Ran cried over a bad dream or Ren over a scraped knee.

"Were you not happy Makoto?" She asked, pulling back slightly to look at him with wide eyes.

"Yes, I was." He smiled.

"What happened?" Gou croaked.

"I fell in love with him." He admitted, feeling a weight off his shoulders as he finally told Gou the truth.

"You love him?" She asked, shocked slightly by the depth of the pair's shared feelings.

"More than anything." He nodded. "I don't regret what happened with Haru, just the timing. I regret what I put you through."

She offered a weak nod in return, bringing a hand off his waist to dry her cheeks with her shirt sleeve.

"I spoke to Haru today." She told him, returning her hands to his stomach and her head back to his chest, listening to the heartbeat that used to calm her soul.

"You did?" Makoto questioned, his mind reeling at what the pair would have discussed.

"Yeah, he's never liked me." She laughed weakly, trying to make light of the situation. "You really want my blessing?"

"Yes. I need it. I need to know I won't hurt you further before I move on."

"It's going to be a long wait." She mumbled into his skin.

"That's fine by me, whenever you're ready." He said, reaching to stroke her hair in comfort.

The pair stood in each other's embrace for a while, unbeknownst to them a pair of icy blue eyes watched them the whole time. They watched in a silent fury as the once-lovers shared a tender moment, shooting daggers into the girl until she pulled herself away with a soft giggle and walked away. Makoto watched her go, an affectionate smile on his face causing Haruka's blood to boil.

Makoto turned to head back to the pool and jumped slightly when he saw the other boy, his jealousy radiating off him.

"Haru." Makoto said softly, walking up to the boy and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "It's not what you think."

"And what do I think?" He snapped, harshly pulling himself away from his hold.

"You think Gou and I are back together, that we're going to pretend nothing happened and carry on as normal, that I'd forget all about you." He said, reading the other boy's expression and fears easily. "But we're not, we needed to talk to clear the air and begin to move past this."

At the mention of moving on Haruka perked up, hope beginning to bloom deep within him, the fire he tried to fight burning brightly for Makoto again.

"Does… Does she accept us?" He asked nervously, hands twitching to reach out for the other boy.

"Not yet Haru." Makoto said, almost apologetically. "I need to wait until she's ready."

"Who cares? She's had the honesty she deserves. Why is it that we can't have what we deserve?" Haruka protested. Every time he thought he was there his dream was pulled a little further back.

"If we got together too soon and we hurt her further I just…" He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "The guilt would kill me. Surely you can understand that?"

"Don't you understand that not being with you kills me?" Haruka questioned, his voice small and pained.

"Then maybe you should forget about me." Makoto said, his voice breaking slightly at the thought, but he knew Haruka deserved to be free. "Find somebody better and move on."

"I can't." He whispered, walking past Makoto and back to the pool.

Makoto felt slightly relieved from the confession, he would never want Haruka to move on with his life without him. He wanted their relationship to blossom, to complete each other with their love. But if finding someone better, someone worthy of him, meant the other boy would find happiness, then Makoto knew he would have to let him go.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Zaabeth! You save my story so much :)

“So, Makoto?” Nagisa announced loudly, breaking the silence that had once again fallen on the group.

“Yes Nagisa?” Makoto said, turning towards him with a smile.

Haruka could tell it was fake, he could tell he just wanted silence. Despite being more talkative recently he still held himself back, still not feeling completely accepted by his friends and peers as the news that he has cheated on the sweet and lovable Gou with the quiet and stoic Haruka had spread.

“When exactly do you parents go for this family visit?” He asked, Haruka’s head snapping towards the conversation.

How had Nagisa known that? He’d obviously spoken to the blonde boy, and in depth, while Haruka was lucky to get an awkward conversation about the weather. Why hadn’t Makoto gone with them? He loved big family get-togethers, always looked forward to them despite how they annoyed Haruka, knowing he’d have to spend a weekend alone.

“Ah, they leave this afternoon.” Makoto told him. “They’ll be gone when I get home.”

Watching the smile on Nagisa’s face spread he knew that had been the wrong answer, the boy never passed up a chance of a free house.

“Why didn’t you say so sooner? There’s so much to plan!” He cried out, shaking the taller boy by his arm.

“Plan?” Makoto asked nervously.

“Yes! We need food and drinks for everyone. We need to _invite_ everyone! We need to get music sorted and move around some furniture so there’s room to dance…” He rambled, quickly being cut off by Makoto.

“No. I’m not having a party.” He said rather firmly.

“But Mako-chan!” He whined, pouting at the older boy.

“Nagisa.” Rei warned, sensing Makoto’s discomfort.

“Fine.” He relented. “Just the four of us then?”

Makoto opened his mouth to say no, the words were right on his tongue but when he saw Nagisa’s eyes shining with hope and slight excitement he knew he wouldn’t turn his friend down.

“Okay, but just for the afternoon. Not to stay for the night.” He offered as a compromise.

“But we were going to stay for the whole weekend so Mako-chan didn’t have to be alone.” Nagisa pouted.

“Maybe Makoto-senpai wants to be alone.” Rei said, shooting Nagisa a warning glare.

Makoto never really wanted to be alone, when his family were out he would always drag Haruka around to his or invite himself to his house. But, more recently, Makoto seemed to seek out his own company, forehead creased as he was alone with his thoughts. Haruka dreaded what he thought about when he was alone, what words filled his mind, what insults he’d throw at himself, stopping his guilt from ever easing.

“Okay.” Nagisa sighed. “I’ll just have to spend the night at Rei-chan’s instead!”

“What?!” The boy in question called out as the blonde wrapped his arm around him.

“Yes! It will be so much fun! Rei-chan’s mum makes the best pancakes for breakfast.” He cried in excitement.

Haruka watched as Makoto once again drifted into silence, eyes glazing over in thought. He yearned to know what was on his mind, to help with his troubles, to support him like a best friend should. But he knew Makoto would never tell. The boy would always be there to help others, always be there whenever someone needed him, but when it was his own hour of need he’d try to stand alone, refusing to be a burden to anyone.

Haruka wanted to tell him that he was never an inconvenience. That he, and all his other friends, wanted to be there for him when he needed them. Instead of using words Haruka lightly brushed his leg against the other, conveying the message through actions. It was either not understood or completely ignored as Makoto didn’t responded.

Not a minute later he excused himself from the group. He claimed he had work to catch up, but Makoto ended up just wandering around the halls alone.

…

Haruka sat in Makoto’s back garden, staring up at the stars in the night’s sky. He hadn’t planned to come over. He knew Makoto didn’t want company – especially his – so a night in alone was what he’d expected to have. That was until Nagisa showed up and practically pulled his arm out of its socket dragging him down the stairs to his house.

He felt awkward in his once-best friend’s house. Nagisa and Rei could fill the silence with their pointless chatter and arguments, but the elephant in the room would always remain. It hurt Haruka to think that he could no longer enjoy Makoto’s company alone, spend the night mindlessly playing video games like they once had. All because he’d forced them to cross that line, the line into lovers, a line that was damn near impossible to come back from.

The sound of the door opening caused Haruka to jump slightly. He expected Nagisa to jump on his back and whine that he wasn’t being sociable enough. What he didn’t expect was a deep, familiar sigh, before Makoto sat down at his side.

“Hi.” Makoto said quietly.

Haruka turned to look at him in disbelief, not only was he talking to him but he was inciting the conversation.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t exactly been the greatest of friends recently.” Makoto apologised.

Haruka only snorted in response. That was a slight understatement.

“I've been thinking about these past few months over and over, trying to come up with some explanation for what I did, how I acted, and I only ever reach one conclusion.” Makoto sighed. “I was a selfish person who hurt far too many people to ever deserve happiness again.”

“You could never be selfish.” Haruka reassured him, gently taking hold of his hand and silently rejoicing when the contact wasn’t abruptly broken.

“I lied to Gou, I cheated on her. I lied to you as well. I claimed to love you both, but I just continued to pile lies on top of lies. Ruining everyone’s lives. Carelessly breaking hearts as if I didn’t care.” He growled, his anger directed towards himself rather than anyone else.

“But you do care.” Haruka said, squeezing the hand he held. “You felt guilty for what you did and tried to make to right again, that’s got to at least count for something.”

“I don’t think it does. I’m a horrible person.” Makoto sighed, letting his gaze drop.

“And yet I’m still in love with you.” Haruka whispered, just loud enough that the other boy could hear. “Even after everything you did I’m still stupidly in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you too. But…” Makoto trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

_But we can’t be together._

The words hung in the air between, the atmosphere thick with the tension. The silence dragged as the pair looked up at the sky, hands still gripping each other tightly, refusing to lose this last piece of what they had once been.

“You’ve always liked the stars, haven’t you?” Makoto asked, more rhetorically than anything. No answer was provided.

The stars made him feel small. Ordinary. Under their watchful eyes he could pretend his was just a normal boy, holding his normal boyfriend’s hand, behaving like a normal couple would.

“When I used to imagine us together I pictured us on the beach.” Haruka confessed, words tumbling out his mouth before he could even regret them. “Watching the stars together, you insisting we should probably learn some of the constellations but I’d be brushing you off. Just happy lying in each other’s arms.”

“Sounds perfect.” Makoto sighed.

“Then I’d kiss you and you would get all flustered and embarrassed in case somebody saw us, but I would assure you that nobody would find us here. That we were alone and that we were the only two people that mattered in the whole world. Eventually it would work and we’d make love on the soft sand, the sounds of the sea in the background while the stars shone down on us.” He sniffed, pulling his hand away to rub at the tears that had formed in his eyes. “But I guess that won’t ever happen.”

“I wish it could.” Makoto admitted, touched by this side of Haruka that was usually so well hidden.

“Maybe it can.” He said, sliding closer to Makoto so that their shoulders now touched.

“Haru.” He whined but made no effort to move away.

Not when Haruka brought his hand up to caress his cheeks, not when Haruka’s thumb softly stroked his bottom lip, not when Haruka gently pulled his face forward so it was mere inches from his own.

They paused briefly, frozen in time as their breath began to mingle, lips so close to touching but not quite there yet, eyes searching each other’s, reading all the deep emotions between them.

Slowly eyelids flickered shut, both boys unconsciously bridging the gap between awaiting mouths, lips about to meet when…

“Nagisa!” Rei screamed from inside quickly followed by the sounds of clattering where either something had been dropped or the pair had fallen.

The sounds pulled the couple out of their own world and crashing back to reality.

“I should probably go separate them.” Makoto laughed, pupils still blown from the moment they had almost shared.

“Yeah.” Haruka offered breathlessly, cursing Nagisa for ruining a kiss he’d been waiting so long for.

With a groan Makoto stood tall, stretching himself out before walking back towards the door.

“Haru?” He asked softly, pulling the door open.

“Yes?” He replied, glancing over his shoulder to see Makoto’s back faced to him as he took a deep, shaky breath.

“Things certainly were less complicated when we were just friends.” He said, taking a step inside and once again leaving Haruka alone under the stars.

…

“All sorted in there?” Haruka asked as Rei sat down beside him.

“Mostly. Nagisa and Makoto are still cleaning up some of the food that was spilt.” He explained. “Why Nagisa wanted to make cake so badly I don’t know.”

“It’s a very Nagisa thing to do.” He shrugged.

“True.”

Rei shifted uncomfortably where he sat, clearly debating what he wanted to say, different variations of the same sentence running through his head as he tried to come up with the best combination of words.

“Haruka-senpai? May I say something?” Rei asked nervously.

“Sure.” He answered, looking over at the other boy curiously.

“You and Makoto have always shared a very special bond but recently it seemed to be strained. It has come to both mine and Nagisa’s attention that the intimacy and the care that you once had has gone.” He said.

“We’re working on it.” Haruka lamely offered. “A friendship like ours won’t be hard to fix.”

The comment may have been said offhandedly but it held some comfort for the one saying it, they would be able to come back from this. He just knew it.

“That’s not what I was talking about. I was referring to your romantic relationship.” Rei informed him.

“Ah, right.”

Although it had never been outwardly discussed it was a given that Rei and Nagisa knew that Makoto and Haruka had once been involved with each other but due to circumstances this was no longer the case. What he hadn’t expected was either one of them to mention it, to call them out on their previous status.

“While I understand that the timing may have been wrong I think, with matters of the heart, such theory based thinking is unnecessary.” Rei began, looking at Haruka. “Rather than always doing what makes sense, sometime you just need to act on impulse and do what feels right. People make mistakes, it’s only human, but they shouldn’t be punished their whole lives for them.” He said passionately. “There is no point in dwelling on the past when there is a happy future to be had.”

“I don’t think I’m the one you should be saying all this too.” Haruka huffed. “Makoto is the one who needs convincing.”

“Ah, well Nagisa and I both decided it would be best if we spoke to you alone.” He blushed slightly at his confession.

“Of course you did.” He rolled his eyes, only imagining the stupid pep talk Nagisa would be spewing at Makoto right now.

Rei offered him a quick smile that was briefly returned before a silence fell on the pair, comfortable without any words needing to be said.

“Rei-chan!” Nagisa announced his arrival.

“Yes?” He groaned, looking up at the noisy boy.

“It’s time to go.” He said, pulling his friend to his feet.

“Why so eager?” He questioned.

“Because if we arrive too late then your mum will have put away all the left overs.” Nagisa explained, as if this was the most obvious statement in the world.

“You ate dinner here though.” He sighed.

“I’m a growing boy! I have a two dinner minimum, Rei-chan!” He giggled, walking back into the house.

“Rei?” Haruka voice called out, barely above a whisper. “Thanks.”

“It’s okay, Haruka-senpai. You have helped me in the past, I only wish to return the favour.”

He walked towards the door and stopped, turning back to the boy sat on the floor.

“A relationship between the two of you would be very beautiful.”

Haruka knew that was Rei’s way of saying he approved. That they shouldn’t mind what others thought as long as they were happy, that the past needed to forgotten for a fresh start.

…

Haruka was awoken suddenly by a loud clap of thunder, he groaned at disturbance, knowing he wouldn’t be able to fall back into his slumber while this storm rolled around. Lightning lit up his room and he was able to see the clock. It told him it was three in the morning, far too early to be awake. The flash was almost immediately followed by another bang, showing that the storm was right over the houses.

Automatically, Haruka reached out for his phone, expecting to see a bombardment of texts from a terrified Makoto, but there appeared to be none.

“Idiot.” He muttered to himself, rolling out of bed.

The thunder’s rumble was only broken occasionally by a flash of light as the rain poured down heavily. Haruka glanced out his window just in time to see a bolt crack across the sky, but his attention was quickly drawn to Makoto’s house. It was still shrouded in darkness, the other boy clearly too afraid to climb out of bed to turn his bedroom light on as he often did in a storm if others were home.

He imagined poor Makoto, whimpering slightly in his bed as he pulled the covers over his head, a childish form a protection but a practice he still did religiously. His old stuffed whale teddy would be gripped to within an inch of its life, the old seams strained under the added pressure. His breath would be quick, panting as he nibbled on the skin around his fingers in a terrible habit he couldn’t seem to break himself out of.

Without a second thought, Haruka rushed down his stairs and out the house towards his best friend. The rain soaking him to the bone despite the short time outside, his feet splashing in various puddles as he ran right up to the front door of Makoto’s home.

He reached under the decorative stones outside and produced the spare key, silently letting himself inside, sighing as the warmth of the house hugged him after the frozen rain.

...

Makoto felt his blood turn cold as he heard the familiar scrape of his front door. He shook his head slightly. He was being paranoid, nobody was breaking into his house. Only a fool would go out in this storm.

A creak down the corridor had him shooting up in his bed in a bundle of covers with Boo Whaley pressed tightly to his chest. His eyes glanced around his room, hoping to find some form of weapon to protect himself but sadly there was nothing. The best he had was his desk chair but it was not something he could reach from the comfort of his own bed.

Suddenly, his bedroom door was thrown open, a loud scream escaping his throat before he could stop himself, scrabbling back on his bed as the dripping wet shadow walked inside.

“Makoto!” The stranger said, holding his hands up. “It’s just me!”

His screaming and panic stopped as the familiar voice filled his room.

“Haru?” He asked, getting off his bed and walking closer to his friend. “What are you doing here?”

“I knew you’d be scared in the storm.” Haruka shivered, more water falling off his body.

“You shouldn’t have come.” He gushed, running out the room to grab a towel for his friend.

“I didn’t want you to be alone.” He called after him, creating a small puddle on the floor.

“Why didn’t you call?” He scolded, drying Haruka’s hair.

He let his eyes flutter shut at the action, it had been a while since he’d received this sort of treatment, been completely pampered by Makoto as his fingers gently massaged his head. From the simple touch he felt his stomach tightening, it had been so long since he’d even been this close to Makoto that is was turning him on.

“You better take your clothes off.” Makoto mumbled, Haruka’s eyes flying open again.

“What?” He whispered.

“Yeah, you’ll catch a cold otherwise.” He told him, walking over to his cupboard and grabbing some spare clothes.

Slightly disappointed, he disposed of his wet clothes in a heap on the floor before eagerly taking the too large spares from Makoto’s outstretched arms.

Looking after Haruka had momentarily made him forget his fear until a loud crash of thunder shook the house, Makoto jumping in fear and grabbing onto the other boy, who had only managed to get one arm through his sleeve.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” Haruka soothed, while Makoto nodded into his neck.

Makoto gripped him tightly until the low rumbles began to stop and he was confident enough to stand alone. Haruka pulled his second arm through and gently lead him towards the bed.

“I think we should try to sleep.” Haruka decided.

“Do you want me to get you out the futon?” Makoto asked, sitting down on the bed that showed he really didn’t want to.

“No, it’s fine.”

Together they lay on Makoto’s bed, backs pressed firmly against each other as the mattress was far too small for two fully grown boys.

Makoto wanted to say something, to ease this tension that was filling the room but he couldn’t find the words. Haruka wanted to reach out and touch him after being deprived of their closeness for so long.

A flash of lightening had Makoto softly moaning to himself, his body curling up slightly for protection. Haruka turned over to see his back tensing under his fear.

For the second time that night he acted completely on impulse and pressed his hands flat against his back, gently caressing the muscles there before slipping his hands up under the others arms to wrap around his stomach. He shuffled closer until his forehead was pressed against his back, feeling content while the smell of Makoto consumed him.

The feeling was mutual – Makoto felt safe for the first time that evening with his friend’s arms snuggly around his waist.

They lay in silence for a while, just embracing the moment, knowing that tomorrow morning the whole charade would begin again and intimacy like this would have to be forgotten.

“I spoke to Nagisa today.” Makoto said as the storm began to rumble into the distance.

“Hm?” Haruka mumbled, face buried deep in-between the other’s shoulder blades.

“He thinks I’m making problems out of nothing.” He chuckled, Haruka shaking with him.

“I’m inclined to agree with him.” He grumbled.

Makoto turned over, forcing him to release the hold he had around him.

“But what about…” He started but he didn’t get to finish his sentence.

“No, stop.” Haruka said sternly, fed up of hearing the same excuses. “For once stop thinking about other people and do something for yourself.”

“I can’t.” He whispered.

“Why not? Because you’re scared of being selfish? It’s time for you to be selfish. Do what makes you truly happy, what your heart desires. Forget what I want. Forget what Gou wants. What do you want?” He asked, eyes searching his face for an honest answer.

“I… I want Haru.” He admitted, leaning forward to press his forehead against the other’s.

“I’ve always been yours.” Haruka replied, moving his face for a kiss only for Makoto to scoot back. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m scared.” He cried softly, eyes flashing with real fear. “If this doesn’t work out… I can’t lose you, Haru.”

Haruka gasped slightly at the confession. There it was, the real reason Makoto was holding back. All the assumptions he’d made about Gou, about what Makoto was feeling, and he’d missed his main insecurity.

They’d been together for as long as either one could remember, best friends who shared all their secrets, shared all their hopes and their dreams, knew everything about each other. They wouldn’t be able to live without the other.

Taking their relationship to a new level meant the potential they’d break up, that they’d grow tired of each other and go their separate ways, moving on and forgetting the other.

But Haruka feared losing him just as Makoto did. They needed each other. They loved each other. Together they would make this work, and they would never need to be apart again.

“I love you Makoto, I always will.” Haruka reassured, gripping the other’s cheeks and pulling him closer.

This time Makoto didn’t fight it instead let himself melt into the kiss, his arms looping around Haruka’s middle and pulling him flat against his chest. He slowly opened his mouth as he felt Haruka’s soft tongue running against his lip.

Their tongues caressed and danced, finally being reunited after so long of being forced apart. It as if their souls were meeting again in a way they’d yearned for but had been deprived of.

Haruka pushed the other boy until he was flat on his back, legs on either side of his thighs, his whole body supported by Makoto, holding him, hands exploring every area he could reach.

Pulling back slightly for air, Haruka tried to stifle back a yawn but failed, his mouth thrown wide open as he desperately breathed in.

“You need to sleep Haru.” Makoto smiled affectionately, rolling the boy until he was on his back.

“After.” He pouted, gripping onto his shirt to stop him from moving away, pulling him into another passionate kiss.

“Stop.” Makoto murmured against his lips with a soft laugh.

Haruka audibly whined when Makoto moved away slightly, still helplessly holding his shirt.

“We have tomorrow.” He said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “And the next day. And the next day. And the next. And the day after that.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to any patch of skin he could find with each sentence.

“We have the rest of our lives.” Haruka smiled up at him sleepily.

“Exactly. I love you Haru.” Makoto said, pulling him flat against his chest and holding him, Haruka quickly returning the hug.

“I love you too.”

Slowly his eyes began to drop, his heart beat began to regulate with Makoto’s and his breath as they fell asleep together into sweet dreams, like two bodies in perfect harmony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally happened! Lovers back on track! Hope you like it!
> 
> Also did anyone notice my To Kill A Mockingbird reference in there?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth :)

Haruka felt himself slowly waking up, stretching his arms out only to come into contact with the cold wall rather than the warm body of his best friend. Suddenly wide awake he sat up in bed, glancing around the empty bedroom.

The familiar rejection and pain filled his chest, his heart constricting tightly as he struggled to breathe. Makoto had left him again, cold and alone in the bedroom.

Haruka knew there had to be another explanation. Makoto had accepted him, they were finally together, he couldn’t have run away. Pushing himself out of bed, Haruka went in search of the other boy, refusing to be forgotten again.

What if it had all been a dream? Haruka refused to believe it, but the thoughts still ran through his head. What if he and Makoto hadn’t finally gotten together last night… What if it had only been his imagination?

As he wandered around the house, he smelt a distinct burning, his feet quickly dragging him towards the kitchen.

“Oh crap!” Makoto cursed, grabbing a frying pan off the top, smoke rising from it.

Makoto coughed slightly as he wafted the smoke away, nervously glancing towards the door to see that Haruka was there. A blush filled his cheeks as he realised he was being watched.

“Ah, Haru! You’re awake.” He greeted, awkwardly moving to block the steaming pan from sight.

“What are you doing?” Haruka asked bluntly.

“Nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” He commented, and Makoto sighed slightly.

“I was trying to surprise you with breakfast in bed but this is my fourth attempt and I just keep burning it.” He whined, looking mournfully at the charred remains of their breakfast.

“Stupid.” Haruka mumbled. “I’ll make it.”

Makoto averted his gaze sheepishly. “Ah, but I used up all the ingredients.”

“Well, we’ll just have to go hungry.” Haruka shrugged. Skipping breakfast hadn’t exactly been uncommon for him over the past few months.

“We can go to the shops later.” Makoto offered with a smile.

Haruka let out a small, “Tch,” at the idea. He had no intention of leaving the house today, instead intending to soak up all the time he could with Makoto and their newfound relationship.

Makoto’s eyes softened.

“Sorry Haru-chan.” He said, moving forwards and wrapping his arms around the smaller boy.

Instead of uttering his usual response, Haruka found that he was too distracted by Makoto’s gorgeous green eyes. They were, for once, not staring into his own but instead focused noticeably on his lips. As Makoto stared, Haruka let his lips part, a pink tongue slipping out to wet them, making them ever more appealing to the other boy.

Makoto tilted his head down, and Haruka rose up onto his toes, joining their lips together in a tender kiss. Their mouths moved together in unison, gently suckling on plump lower lips in silent question.

Makoto answered by sliding his tongue out and into Haruka’s mouth, almost melting as he felt the heat welcoming him. After a few deliberate caresses Haruka found himself being pushed backwards by his usually gentle friend. When the edge of the table jutted into Haruka’s back he pulled away with a gasp, only to be met by a smirking Makoto who quickly lifted him up and placed him on the table.

Once safely sat down Haruka latched onto Makoto’s neck, sucking and biting at the soft skin, finally claiming what was rightfully his. Makoto’s throat vibrated against Haruka’s lips as he moaned, his hands snaking around his waist and squeezing the firm flesh of his butt cheeks.

“You making up for last night?” Haruka whispered against his skin.

“You would have fallen asleep. Ah!” Makoto moaned as Haruka’s hips moved, rubbing their crotches together.

“I’m sure you would have found a way to keep me awake.” He teased, licking at the marks on his neck.

Makoto hummed in response before pulling Haruka away from his neck and hungrily kissing him, his tongue possessively staking every corner of his mouth. Their tongues danced as harsh breaths escaped, filling the silent room with their combined passion.

Breathlessly, Makoto pulled away, resting his forehead against Haruka’s and grinding their bodies together until they were both hard and desperate for more. Makoto quickly pulled off Haruka’s shirt, wetly kissing his defined chest.

Haruka in turn pulled Makoto’s own shirt off, forcing the other off his chest with a whine of protest. Once free from the shirt, Makoto placed his hand in the centre of Haruka’s stomach, firmly pushing until his back was flat on the table. He tugged lightly on Haruka’s shorts, who lifted his hips so they could be pulled off, leaving him completely bare and painfully hard.

“Haru.” Makoto whispered, taking his cock inside his mouth.

Haruka helplessly gripped at the brunette’s locks as he felt a tongue lapping around the slit before Makoto pulled off with a wet pop.

“I want to try something different.” Makoto said, his breath cooling the salvia on the tip of Haruka’s cock. Haruka moaned uncontrollably at the sensation.

“Okay.” He agreed breathlessly. He was so turned on right now he’d let Makoto do anything.

“I dreamt about doing this with you.” He admitted, cheeks blushing slightly. “If you feel uncomfortable just say stop.”

Haruka returned the blush with one of his own, he wasn’t the only one whose dreams had been haunted by the other, desires fuelled entirely by their need to be together once again, every moment of their lives filled with longing.

Makoto’s tongue darted out again, but this time it was much lower, lapping at Haruka’s balls while his hands gripped an ankle each and forced his knees bent, his feet balancing precariously on the edge of the table.

Slowly, Makoto dragged his tongue lower, sliding it down Haruka’s body until it gently stroked his hole, wetting the muscle before pulling back.

“Is this okay?” He asked, looking up at Haruka between his legs.

Haruka glanced down and saw the adoration and love reflecting back in those green eyes. The complete, utter want and lust had Haruka unable to deny the other boy.

“It’s fine.” He reassured with a small smile, one he saved for Makoto and Makoto only.

With more confidence than before Makoto moved in closer to him, tongue pushing firmly on the tight muscle and slipping inside the heat waiting for him. Haruka could barely describe the feeling. He had been sure he wouldn’t like the wet tongue probing around inside him but instead the slick movement of Makoto’s tongue, exploring his most intimate areas, set every nerve on fire.

Quickly the tongue vanished before being thrust back inside, slowly getting deeper as Makoto repeated the action and the muscle relaxed. Once loose, a finger slipped inside as well, stretching him further and stroking the bundle of nerves the tongue couldn’t quite reach.

“Makoto!” Haruka cried out brokenly as the pleasure bloomed through his entire being.

His hips began to buck uncontrollably as the nerves were repeatedly brushed by the finger thrusting deep inside him, the tongue still pulsating his hole with each lick. The simultaneous sensations were driving him wild, his cock was red and leaking against his stomach.

He was begging to be touched but at the same time he didn’t want to. He wanted to hold back and wait for Makoto, so they could cum together. But as he felt lips close around his hole and strongly suck while the tongue continued to plunge inside him he felt his resolve breaking.

Quickly, his own hand joined in, pumping his cock in time to Makoto’s rhythm as his name fell from his lip in chants.

Haruka’s stomach began to knot, the familiar clench of his toes as Makoto brought him unknown amounts of pleasure.

His hips shot forward with a cry as he came, hot and fast against his chest, Makoto moaning in return as he felt the walls constricting around his tongue and finger. He continued working Haruka until the last of the release before pulling back and pushing himself up tall again.

“Did you like that Haru?” He asked, pressing a soft kiss into his bent knee.

“It was amazing.” He panted, looking up at Makoto with half lidded eyes.

“I’m glad.” He smiled.

Haruka opened his arms forlornly, tiredly wanting Makoto close again, to kiss those lips that had him in the throes of ecstasy mere moments ago.

“Not yet Haru. We need to clean you up.” Makoto laughed, looking down at the mess on his chest.

Stubbornly, Haruka shook his head and wrapping his legs around Makoto’s waist, stopping him from escaping.

“You’re hard.” He commented, still a little breathless.

“No matter.” He smiled, eyes flickering shut, but Haruka wasn’t going to let him get away that easily.

Taking matters into his own hands he reached down between them, pushing Makoto’s shorts to the ground and taking his cock, guiding it towards his awaiting hole.

“Are you sure?” Makoto asked, gasping slightly as Haruka pressed his hips back to take the head inside.

“You need to cum too.” He told him.

Even though it was a passing phrase he meant it for their whole relationship. They would be equals, always together in pleasure and pain, supporting each other fully for the rest of their lives.

Nodding, Makoto pushed himself further inside, breathing deeply as he felt himself become fully sheathed by Haruka. Slowly he began to roll his hips, gently thrusting in and out despite the bruising grip on the other boy’s thighs.

Makoto wanted to go faster, needed to go faster, but his lover was so over-sensitive he didn’t want to push him too far. Haruka could feel everything, his spent hole caressing every bump, every vein on Makoto’s cock. He committed this intense sensation to his memory. Never before had he felt so close to Makoto, never had he felt as if they were becoming one.

Despite his speed, Makoto still managed to brush his prostate with each thrust, slowly arousing Haruka again with every gentle press. Haruka looked up and took in the sight in front of him, Makoto’s eyes tightly shut, whispers of his name falling from his lips with every roll. Haruka reached his hands up and gently cupped the other boys face, his eyes flying open, the tender love evident deep in them as Haruka gently stroked his face. This was finally all his, Makoto was his, no obstacles, no complications, their love could finally be.

“Makoto.” He whispered. “I need more.”

Haruka knew that was all he was waiting for, the reassurance he needed before taking it to the next level.

Makoto grabbed Haruka’s leg and pulled it flush with his chest, he moved faster, pushing himself deeper with the new angle he’d created. Moans and grunts filled the room, blocking out the sound of the world outside that was slowly coming to life.

Haruka’s whole body helplessly slid across the table, Makoto’s firm hold his only anchor, the only thing keeping him from losing control.

“You feel so good.” Makoto said, supporting each word with a quick thrust into his sweet spot.

“So do you.” Haruka replied, clenching his muscles around the cock deep inside him.

At the sensation Makoto screamed, body curling in on itself in pleasure. Amazed by the reaction Haruka repeated the squeeze, his lover uncontrollably convulsing above him.

Soon, Makoto’s thrusts became ill-timed and wild as the pleasure built inside him until he was teetering over the edge.

“I’m… I’m gonna…” Makoto was unable to finish his sentence before he burst, hips halting as his seed released deep inside Haruka with low grunt.

Haruka gasped at the feeling, the cum filling him up to the brim as Makoto’s cock continued pulsating. Without further stimulation Haruka called out again and came for a second time that morning, layering on top of the now dry semen on his chest.

With a smile, Makoto pulled out, Haruka’s walls squeezing as the cock slowly left him, leaving him feeling empty after the previous intimacy.

Makoto let his body drop to the floor, panting as he tried to catch his breath while Haruka did the same on the table, he would have laughed if he could find the energy. Gently Haruka pushed himself to stand, his legs wobbling hopelessly until he too crumpled to the ground, lying half on Makoto and half on the floor.

“I’ve missed this.” Makoto said, letting his eyes drop shut.

“I’ve missed everything about you.” Haruka admitted, watching with satisfaction at the blush spreading across Makoto’s naked body.

“I love you Haru.”

“I love you too.”

Weakly, Haruka pushed himself up, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss, sharing the love between them. Slowly the kiss deepened, nerves began to spark again, arousal returned before they’d even had the chance to catch their breaths.

…

The next morning Haruka and Makoto lay together in the small bathtub, resting and relaxing after the rather vigorous day they had yesterday. They were hormonal teenage boys after all.

But today wasn’t about that, it was less about the physical side to their relationship that they’d so sorely missed in their sudden and forced abstinence, but instead about just being together, soaking each other up fully before the harsh reality of the real world ruined their paradise.

The two of them were squashed in the bath, Makoto’s knees bent and out of the water while Haruka was nestled between them, resting on the boy’s chest while in return his arms wrapped his arms around his middle.

“When are you parents back?” Haruka asked as Makoto placed tender kisses to his shoulder, lapping at the water that dripped down from his hair.

“Not until this evening.” He replied.

“Good.” He muttered, glad their bubble wouldn’t burst too soon.

Letting his eyes flutter shut, Haruka leant deeper into the water, a hum of complete contentment escaping him. He wouldn’t mind spending the rest of his life like this, surrounded by Makoto and by water.

The room was filled with silence, their soft breaths the only sound, but words didn’t need to be said. They knew how they felt, they knew the love they shared, they weren’t the couple that needed reassurance every few minutes. There was an unspoken language between them that had and always would be there.

“What was that?” Makoto asked, sitting up slightly in the bath and forcing Haruka up as well.

“Probably just a pipe creaking.” He shrugged, pressing back, hoping to lower them both back into the water.

“It sounded like the front door.” He said, looking around frantically, as if he could tell from the bathroom if someone had broken in.

“You’re imagining things.” He scoffed.

“I guess so.” Makoto accepted, but he still wasn’t completely placated. Haruka could tell by the way he tightened his hold around his waist. What exactly he was expected to do naked in the bath for protection he wasn’t sure but if it made Makoto feel better he wouldn’t complain.

Suddenly, the bathroom door was thrown open, Makoto shrieking at the unexpected intrusion of his younger siblings.

“Onii-chan!” They cried in unison.

“Hello.” He stuttered in response, awkwardly shifting around in the bath.

“Haru-chan! What are you doing here?” Ren asked, grinning at the older boy.

“I came to keep Makoto company while you were gone.” He told them calmly, Makoto blushing behind him.

“No far! I wouldn’t have left if I knew Haru-chan was going to be here!” Ran whined dramatically.

“He wouldn’t be here if you’d stayed, he only came because Onii-chan was lonely.” Her twin brother explained.

“He would have!” She protested. “He would have wanted to play with me.”

“No he wouldn’t.” Ren scoffed.

“You would, wouldn’t you Haru-chan?” She asked, turning her big eyes on the boy.

“I guess so, yes.” He replied, never being able to say no to the wide Tachibana eyes.

“Ren! Ran! Did you find Makoto?” Makoto’s mother asked, walking into the bathroom as well. “Oh, hello you two.”

“Hello Mum.” Makoto mumbled, trying to slide as far under the water as humanly possible.

“Come on darlings, let’s leave the boys alone.” She said, ushering her youngest children out the room.

“But Mum, I wanted to play with Onii-chan and Haru-chan.” Ren complained.

“Me too!” His sister piped up.

“Maybe another time.” She laughed.

With further complaints the twins finally left the room, Makoto’s mother pausing slightly to look back at the two embarrassed boys in the bathtub.

“I’ll be making lunch soon if you want to come get some when you’re finished.” She smiled, as if nothing were out of the ordinary, and left the room.

“Oh god!” Makoto groaned, burying his face in his fingers. “That was humiliating.”

“They would have found out eventually.” Haruka shrugged, climbing out the bath and grabbi-ng a towel.

If he knew Makoto’s mum, and after sixteen years he was pretty sure he did, she would purposely make a mackerel based meal as he was over and he wasn’t planning on missing that, especially with yesterday’s lack of food with any substance.

“Yes, but there are better ways for them to have done so.” He said, getting out the water and pulling the plug.

“It doesn’t matter, all that matters is we don’t have to hide this anymore.” Haruka declared.

“Yeah, it’s out in the open. Finally.” He smiled, reaching out and grabbing the other boy’s hand.

…

The six of them sat down for some lunch, Makoto blushing and spluttering every time he remembered what had happened yesterday morning on this very table. But if he wanted to keep that fact a secret, he’d have to have to find a way to get his act together. He was being far too suspicious, Haruka decided.

“Onii-chan?” Ran asked through food.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full.” Her mother lightly scolded, the girl scowling slightly as she dutifully finished her food.

“Next time you and Haru-chan bath together can I play too?” The innocence in her question was quickly forgotten for her father’s outburst.

“The boys were in the bath together?” He asked, looking up from his newspaper.

“Uh-huh! Me and Ran found them when we got home.” Ren exclaimed excitedly.

“It’s ‘Ran and I’.” Makoto corrected, hoping for a change of conversation but his mother had other ideas.

“They’re dating.” She explained, leaning towards her husband so the younger children could be excluded from the conversation.

“They are? What happened to that girl? Gou was it?” He asked in confusion, clearly having missed out on a milestone in his son’s life.

“Oh that was ages ago, try and keep up.” She rolled her eyes playfully at him.

“Well my son’s exciting love life is far too fast paced for an old man like myself.” He sighed.

“It’s not that hard. First was Gou, but that didn’t work out, and now there’s Haru.” She explained, Makoto blushing furiously at his parents.

“But Haruka’s always been there.” His dad said.

“Ah, now that, I’m sure, is a conversation for another day.” She winked.

“Please stop.” Makoto begged, seconds away from bolting from the table.

“It’s fine Makoto.” Haruka reassured, placing a hand on his thigh to calm the boy down.

Makoto smiled awkwardly, but placed his hand on top of Haruka’s, squeezing it slightly.

“Boys, now that you’re dating I expect to see both hands above the table at all times.” Makoto’s father scolded, both boys quickly placing their hands next to their meals.

“Sorry.” Makoto mumbled, only to be drowned out by his father’s booming laugh.

“I was only winding you up.” He wheezed between chuckles. “You and your boyfriend can do what you like, well within reason. Let’s try to keep it above the belt.”

“Mum!” Makoto complained, hoping she would end his father’s teasing.

“Oh, just ignore him.” She told them, lightly hitting her husband who was still laughing. “If you boys want to pay footsie don’t let your father stop you.”

“Oh god.” Makoto groaned, once again burying his face in defeat.

Haruka brought his hand up to his lips and hid his smile as he watched his embarrassed boyfriend and parents interacting, providing him entertainment for the rest of the meal.

…

Haruka and Makoto lay in his bed, finally getting some peace and quiet from his family. The well-meaning comments and jibes had continued throughout the rest of their day, right until the moment Makoto announced they would be heading to bed. Which his father had promptly replied with ‘I guess I won’t have to drag the old futon out from the spare bedroom, eh boys?’ and a wink. And if that wasn’t enough to reduce Makoto to a puddle his mother had also called after them hoping they ‘have fun’.

Makoto figured he wouldn’t ever stop blushing, but he was glad that his parents had so readily accepted his relationship and sexuality. It was almost as if they had been expecting it all along. Still, they didn’t have to be so embarrassing about it.

“I’m sorry about my parents.” Makoto apologised into the darkness.

“It’s fine.” Haruka replied, opening his eyes to be staring deep into green eyes. “I think it bothered you more than me.”

“They were never like this with Gou, I don’t understand it.” He told him. In fact with Gou they’d always been on their best behaviour, always very polite and smiling to her face, but he was sure they’d bad mouthed the relationship when they were alone.

“Eh, must like me better.” Haruka smirked.

“Don’t go getting big-headed now.” He teased, squeezing the boy around his waist.

“We’re going to have to face Gou tomorrow.” He said, quickly dropping the cocky look.

“I know.” He sighed.

“It won’t be pretty. She might not be happy.” He nervously stated, worried he’d lose Makoto after that.

“I know, but we can handle that together.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to Haruka’s forehead. “I’m never leaving you again.”

Haruka smiled slightly at the statement, Makoto easily reading his fears as he’d always done and he always would. Lifting his head he captured Makoto’s lips, in what was meant to be a simple good night kiss but soon deepened and became something hot and heavy.

“Haru.” Makoto panted, pulling away. “My parents are in the next room.”

“Tch, tomorrow night we’re staying at mine.” He pouted.

“Of course.” Makoto smiled, despite his sulking boyfriend.

Turning away Haruka slowly shuffled back, curling his body inside Makoto’s larger frame, feeling completely safe and protected in the other boy’s hold. He only wished he could stay like this forever, he couldn’t imagine ever sleeping alone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last week’s Free! killed me so in order to deal with my grief I wrote smut on a table, I am clearly a lady fully in control of her emotions :p


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Zaabeth my little superstar!

Haruka smiled as he walked along the beach, the familiar route he’d taken day after day to school. Only today there were a few key differences. Today he held tightly to the hand of his boyfriend. Today there was a bento box securely in his bag that his boyfriend’s mother had made him. Today there was a chocolate bar in his pocket that his boyfriend’s younger siblings had snuck him just as he was walking out the door.

Haruka glanced over towards Makoto, who was happily chatting to fill the silence as he did every day. Not even waiting for his boyfriend to respond as he continued talking.

No matter how many times Haruka said the word, or even thought it, his heart would skip a beat.

“And so I felt so bad for this little black kitten that had turned up late and all the food was gone I had to open another can of mackerel. And the greedy little thing ate the whole can!” Makoto giggled, Haruka’s heart swelling as he listened to another tale of his boyfriend’s pure selflessness. “That’s why I nicknamed him Haru-nyan, he reminded me of you so much.”

Suddenly Haruka stopped, forcing Makoto to do the same while casting the boy a concerned look.

“Haru?” He asked, worried he’d offended him by naming the kitten after him.

Instead of answering Haruka rose up onto his toes and firmly pressed his lips against Makoto’s, humming in contentment when he felt two arms tightly wrap around his waist and hold him close.

“We’re going to be late if you keep doing this.” Makoto whispered between kisses.

“This is the last time, I swear.” Haruka promised, nipping gently at Makoto’s lip.

“You said that the last four times.” He laughed, releasing his hold on the boy.

Makoto took hold of Haruka’s hand and continued their walk, picking up his conversation just where he had left off, the only evidence of the intimate moment they had just shared was the matching pair of flushed cheeks.

…

As the pair neared school Haruka half expected his hand to be dropped, although he knew Makoto was comfortable with their relationship he didn’t think he wanted the whole world knowing and judging just yet.

But instead, Makoto tightened his grip, held his head high and waltzed past the school gates, as if holding Haruka was something he did every day. Which it was, but the whole student population had yet to realise this.

As expected, eyes were drawn to the pair, staring at the interlaced fingers with suspicion. Sure, they had always been extremely close but this was slightly beyond their normal realms.

Still, Makoto continued to ignore the stares, talking away to Haruka as if nothing were amiss. To anyone who didn’t know the boy, it would be easy to believe Makoto was completely unfazed, that this was easy for him. But to Haruka, who knew him inside out, the crimson tinge to his ears as they burnt up from the unwanted attention was as clear as day.

Whispers grew, spreading like wildfire as the couple made their way down the corridor. There had already been a number of rumours going around the school after Gou and Makoto’s breakup, all of which Haruka had chosen to ignore. But this was something else.

_Gou had left Makoto after she’d found he and Haruka in bed together._ Not too far from the truth Haruka supposed.

_Haruka had forced himself on Makoto just as Gou walked in and she’d assumed the worst and dumped Makoto. Now the boy was desperately trying to win her back._ Again not completely unbelievable but still lacking some key truths.

_Makoto and Gou were that couple who liked to get a third party involved with their sex life, the third party being Haruka. But after being ignored and cast aside a few too many nights in the bedroom Gou had called the whole thing off._ Utterly ridiculous.

It seemed this latest display of affection had added fuel to that dwindling fire and the confusing relationship of the threesome was once again being gossiped about.

“You’re embarrassed.” Haruka stated as they arrived at Makoto’s locker.

“Not by you.” Makoto was quick to defend, but Haruka already knew that wasn’t the reason for his shame. “Just, I’m not used to all the stares.”

“It will die down eventually.” He reassured with a careless shrug.

“I guess so.” He smiled. “Who cares what they think?”

Makoto reached up and gently brushed away the hair of Haruka’s fringe, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, resting there for a moment as his lips spread into a smile. Haruka felt the change in pressure as the grin took over the other boy’s face.

To those that saw, the tender moment seemed to disprove all the rumours about the pair which had depicted Haruka as some sort of rampant sex demon who had seduced and violated poor innocent Makoto.

Makoto pulled away and grabbed the necessary items for his next lesson, handing supplies to Haruka as he did so. It was the only way the other boy ever had what he needed in class. Haruka’s locker had been empty since the first day of school and as long as Makoto was there to look after him he didn’t doubt it would remain that way until he graduated.

Once the books were retrieved Makoto gripped Haruka’s hand again, leading him down the corridor and trying to ignore the whispers.

Haruka decided to take an opposite approach and tune into the hushed conversations around him, listening for the reaction to their new relationship. There was quite a bit of shock, the odd bit of judgement, a surprisingly high amount of adoration but the general consensus seemed to be that it was about time the pair had acted on their unspoken attraction to each other.

This was the case until the pair ran into a certain red-head less than a foot from their homeroom.

“Gou?” Makoto stuttered, shuddering to a halt in front of her.

“Hello.” Gou replied sharply.

“How are you?” He asked awkwardly, Haruka feeling his palm getting clammy against his own.

“Just peachy.” She quickly replied.

“Can we do anything for you?” Makoto continued his clumsy attempts at small talk.

“Actually, I really need to talk to Haruka.” She told him, said boy tilting his head to one side in question. “Alone.”

“Oh, right. Well…” Makoto started but was soon cut off.

“Okay.” Haruka spoke up.

Makoto spun to look at the other boy in shock. The shock abated some when a look of ‘I’ll be fine’ was shot back in his direction.

“I guess I’ll see you in class then, Haru.” Makoto hesitantly said.

“You will.” He agreed as the other boy reluctantly walked away.

“Come on.” Gou said once Haruka looked back at her. “We’re heading outside.”

…

Gou and Haruka walked until they were stood near the benches on the edges of the school grounds, far away from prying eyes and curious ears.

“Sometimes I wonder if you two respect me at all.” Gou finally spoke.

“I’m not sure I know what you mean.” Haruka said.

“You promised you’d wait.” She scolded, glaring at him slightly from under her fringe. “I still needed time.”

“Would you ever be ready to let Makoto go?” He asked bluntly, her attempts at making him feel guilty failing.

“I… Well… I don’t know… I might have…” She stuttered.

“You wouldn’t, trust me. I know what it’s like to be loved by him, what it’s like to watch him love someone else while you yearn for him. You may not like it but I am the only person who fully understands what you’re going through.” He said softly, taking a step towards her.

She stood there in shock, momentarily frozen as his words sunk in. All the jealousy, all the attempts at breaking the pair up, all the anger and hatred he’d once felt had transferred into her, quite potentially at double the intensity.

“Christ.” She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “We’re quite a pathetic pair aren’t we?”

“I guess.” Haruka replied, slightly unsure. Passionate yes, adoring maybe, possessive potentially, but he wasn’t so sure about pathetic.

“I just wish he could have loved me.” She admitted, dropping down onto a bench. “Even when we were together I knew I was nothing compared to you. He always loved you so much, but I tried so hard. I thought eventually I would come first but at the end of the day I was no competition for you.”

“It was never a fair fight.” He said, following suit and sitting beside her.

“You’re telling me.” She scoffed. “You know I’ll never be fully okay with your relationship?”

Haruka nodded.

“And a part of me will always love Makoto.” She continued.

Again Haruka nodded.

“And a part of Makoto will always love me too.”

Haruka nodded a final time, granted it would never be the way the girl loved him but Makoto would always care deeply for her, as he did for all his friends.

But Haruka knew that was even worse, it would be better if you could just hate Makoto, be glad that you weren’t the poor unfortunate soul he’d decided to date but that just wasn’t the way it was. He was impossible not to adore, he was simply perfect and he knew yearning for him was far worse than not knowing him at all.

“I just want him to be happy.” Gou almost whispered.

“I do too.” He agreed.

“And, god do I not want to say this but I know you make him happy, ridiculously so. In a way I can only dream of.” She admitted, laughing slightly bitterly towards the end of her statement.

“He makes me feel the same.” Haruka blushed slightly at his confession. Around Makoto he was comfortable being completely open, but around others he was far more used to being closed off.

With a small nod Gou stood, leaving Haruka behind as an indication of their conversation being over. Just before she was gone completely she glanced back over her shoulder to Haruka, her eyes slightly softer as the resentment slowly began to fade.

“Look after him for me.” Gou said.

“Of course I will.” He replied, the smallest hint of a smile on his lips before Gou turned and walked away.

…

Once Haruka arrived at his lesson he could feel Makoto practically radiating with the need to talk to him, his curiosity coming off him in waves. But he’d have to wait as the teacher had demanded attention and silence.

Haruka soon found himself drifting off, eyes subconsciously drawn to Makoto who was quite absorbed in the lesson, furiously making notes that he would no doubt offer to share with him when he discovered Haruka had not bothered to write any himself.

He enjoyed watching Makoto when he was at his most natural, granted he loved to see him in the throes of passion, he loved to watch as the other boy lavished attention on him but sometimes it was nice just to see him unguarded. When he didn’t realise eyes were on him, his eyebrows scrunched slightly as he processed the information, the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he squinted to read the writing – the boy still stubbornly refused to admit he needed glasses to read the board – his mouth mindlessly nibbling on his pen as he thought.

Without any pretence, without even trying, Makoto managed to be completely beautiful in every single way.

Sensing his gaze Makoto turned, catching blue eyes admiring him with a smile that was quickly returned before he continued his work, sending warmth seeping through Haruka’s entire body at just the small gesture.

Treating Makoto like his own personal TV show had provided Haruka with enough entertainment for the whole lesson to fly by, he only noticed it was over when the scraping sounds of chairs across the floor alerted him to others leaving.

“It’s time to go, Haru-chan.” Makoto said, smiling cheekily at the use of ‘chan’.

“I’m coming.” He nodded, letting the chan slide just this once before dropping his belongings into his bag.

As he walked towards the door he felt a warm hand slip into his, weaving fingers through his own with a tight squeeze. The crowds still watched as they walked down the corridor but it was definitely less intense than before, there was probably a new nugget of gossip to capture their attention, high school could be fickle like that.

“Are you alright?” Makoto asked, both boys knowing it was about the conversation he’d had with Gou.

“Fine.” Haruka nodded, they’d finally found common ground with each other, at the end of the day they both wanted the same thing and would do anything to make sure Makoto was happy.

“And Gou?” He stopped, having reached the point their school schedule forced them to separate.

“Also good. We’ve reached an understanding.” He said.

“That sounds awfully ominous.” Makoto bit his lip slightly.

“Don’t worry about it.” He grinned, barely settling Makoto’s worries.

Haruka could never tell Makoto the truth, if he knew Gou was still in love with him the guilt would be unbearable. It was best if this remained a secret between Haruka and Gou, and one day the girl would heal, she’d find love again with someone who would love her fully in return, who would never hurt her.

When Makoto realised he would be getting no more out of Haruka he admitted defeat.

“If you say so Haru.” Makoto sighed that Haruka only offered a definitive nod to.

Makoto leant forward and swiftly kissed Haruka’s lips with a whispered goodbye, it was only a brief touch but it was enough to leave both in a flush, love filling their bodies, keeping them warm until they would meet again.

Haruka walked to his next lesson with a shake of his head, he wasn’t sure when he and Makoto became one of those sickeningly in love couples but – and he would never admit this to another soul – he adored every minute of it.

…

Haruka had barely stepped out into the sun by the pool before Nagisa was screeching and jumping on him and Makoto.

“Is it true?” Nagisa cried. “Please tell me it’s true.”

“Is what true?” Makoto asked as Haruka managed to escape the blonde’s hold.

“That you and Haru-chan are lovers!” He shouted, Makoto blushing at his choice of words.

“Nagisa-kun, don’t ask such intimate questions.” Rei scolded, pulling his friend off their captain.

“It’s hardly intimate, I heard they have been making out all around school.” Nagisa rolled his eyes, Makoto almost reduced to puddle of embarrassment.

“We didn’t make out.” Makoto spluttered.

“Ah, but it is true that you’ve be flaunting your boyfriend.” Nagisa teased.

“Yes.” Haruka spoke up, hoping to end this madness so he could just get in the pool. “Makoto and I are together.”

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” Nagisa chanted in excitement.

Haruka tried to ignore his friends annoying personality in favour of pulling his jacket off and diving into the cool water. But he’d only managed to get his arms out of both his sleeves before Nagisa was screaming once again.

“Rei-chan! Look at Haru-chan’s chest!” He shouted, pointing a long finger in the boy’s direction.

It took a lot to fluster Haruka, but the twin gazes fixed firmly on his chest definitely would do it. He knew exactly what they would be looking at, the deep purple love bite on his chest, a few centimetres above his nipple. At the time it had been romantic, Makoto claiming he wanted to mark Haruka’s heart forever – the mark itself was a little far over to be near his heart but he’d let it slide for the sake of passion. Outside of the bedroom, sharing that intimate moment didn’t seem right, so the bite just looked like two horny teenagers who can’t control themselves rather than a pair in love.

“Mako-chan! You cheeky animal!” Nagisa giggled.

“Let’s just start practice shall we?” Makoto offered, awkwardly fiddling with his own jacket’s zipper, not wanting to reveal that Haruka had returned the favour with a matching bite.

“I agree.” Rei spoke up, trying to end his senpais’ embarrassment. “Come on Nagisa-kun, get in the pool.”

The blue haired boy dragged his friend towards the pool practically kicking and screaming, almost successfully getting him in the water until Makoto also took off his jacket, his own love bite out for everyone to see. With a squeal Nagisa broke free from his restraints, sending a confused Rei flailing backwards into the pool with a cry of his own.

“Mako-chan!” Nagisa giggled and ran up to the boy, wrapping his arms around his stomach. “I expected this type of behaviour from you but never Haru-chan.”

“What do you mean?” Makoto blushed, trying to break Nagisa’s hold but to no avail.

“Well I always imagined he’d just lie there and say ‘tch, do whatever you want’.” Nagisa said in what only could be described as a terrible Haruka impression. “Kind of like making love to a dead fish.”

“Excuse me?” Haruka bristled, slightly insulted.

“No offence Haru-chan.” He smiled innocently at him.

Haruka glanced up at Makoto, his face a mess with wanting to defend Haruka’s bedroom skills but being far too embarrassed to actually voice this opinion.

“Haru satisfies my needs perfectly.” He settled for saying instead, cheeks burning as the statement left his lips.

“Oh Mako-chan, you’re so romantic.” Nagisa gushed, almost swooning. “Rei-chan! How come you never compliment me like that?”

“What?!” Rei spluttered. “We’re not in that type of a relationship.”

“So?” He asked, finally releasing the taller boy and walking over to the pool, bending down to look Rei in the eye. “I still like to be complimented from time to time.”

“Well I will bear that in mind.” He awkwardly replied.

“I’m waiting.” Nagisa pouted.

“Oh, erm, well…” Rei helplessly looked towards Makoto who just shrugged while Haruka tried to suppress a grin as he watched the scene unfold. “Nagisa, you look very beautiful in the sunlight, it makes your hair almost look like a halo.”

“Rei-chan!” Nagisa cried, leaping off his place on the edge of the pool onto Rei, forcing both of them underwater as he embraced the other boy.

With a fond laugh Makoto walked towards the pool himself, grabbing hold of Haruka’s hand as he went and swiftly pulling him along behind him.

“We really need to stop letting Nagisa distract us so much.” Makoto said, Haruka nodding in agreement.

Never dropping their hold, the pair jumped into the pool, fingers tightly intertwined as the water surrounding them, their bond never breaking. Haruka finally allowed himself a smile as he blew bubbles up to the surface, his senses filled with both his homes.

…

Makoto and Haruka walked home in the sunset, hair dripping slightly from patches missed when drying off. Haruka felt love seeping through his soul as he remembered a very specific moment from practice. It had been brief, it had been small, but it had been a moment all the same.

As they’d sunk to the bottom of the pool Makoto had tugged on his hand, sending Haruka hurtling into a firm chest and soft lips. It was only a quick kiss but in that moment Haruka realised something extremely important.

No matter how much he loved water Makoto would always be his air, his one lifeline, something that he may not openly recognise daily but absolutely essential to his life. His entire world in one person.

“Goodbye Haru.” Makoto said, bringing Haruka’s focus back to the present.

Before he had a chance to question the departure lips were on his, softly pushing them apart with a determined tongue, reaching inside to caress the other. The taller boy then slowly pulled back, capturing lips in one last lingering kiss.

“Makoto.” Haruka scolded once they were separate, the other boy had promised they’d go to Haruka’s house tonight.

“I should really head home.” Makoto said sheepishly, but the glare never left Haruka’s face. “Alright, maybe just for a little bit.”

Haruka turned on his heels and headed up the steps to his house, deliberately hiding the triumphant smirk from his face.  He had no intention of letting Makoto go anytime soon, he’d be over for more than just a little bit.

How was he meant to survive with his air after all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update but I have been debating with myself for so long how I wanted to end this story. Whether I was just going to let the fluff play out or throw in some drama. I went with the fluff option.
> 
> But that does mean this is the second to last chapter. I’m gonna miss my little baby :( it’s been fun to write!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this took so long but I was massively putting it off, I didn’t know how to end it and do it justice. I’ve never finished a story before so I didn’t want to disappoint everyone!
> 
> I’ve probably left it so long that you’ve all lost interest anyway but here it is, my final chapter for He Is The Air

Haruka lazily lifted his hand out of his now tepid bath, watching as the water dripped off his fingers into the water below. A soft sigh escaped his lips as he felt his eyes flicker shut.

It had been two months since it had begun, two months since Haruka had recklessly ran to Makoto’s side in the pouring rain, two months since they’d finally voiced what had been holding them back. Two months since Haruka had finally got what he’d been dreaming about.

The sound of his backdoor opening broke him out his thoughts, smiling to himself as he imagined Makoto sighing when he didn’t find Haruka in the kitchen.

But he knew the sigh would be laced with affection, with love.

The bathroom door swung open and Haruka turned towards the movement. Makoto stood in the doorway, a frown on his face as he took note of his boyfriend still in the bath.

“Why am I not surprised?” Makoto asked, attempting to sound scolding but not quitemanaging to pull it off. Makoto's reprimands always fell short, and Haruka couldn't help but find it unbelievably endearing.

“I was waiting for you.” He replied cheekily.

“So spoilt, Haru-chan.” He sighed, walking closer to the tub and dropping down onto his knees.

“Drop the chan.” Haruka muttered against another pair of lips.

“Never.” Makoto whispered, closing the gap between them.

Haruka suckled on Makoto’s bottom lip as they kissed, basking in how perfectly their lips fit together, almost as if they were two pieces of a puzzle destined to find each other.

But just because kissing Makoto was heaven did not mean he’d forgotten his earlier comment. As punishment Haruka wrapped his arms around the others neck, water dripping from his skin onto the other's collar.

“Haru!” Makoto whined, pulling away and removing Haruka's arms from his now soggy clothes.

In response, Haruka pressed another quick peck to his lips, offering no apology.

With a sigh, Makoto stood up, holding his hand out for his boyfriend like he always did.

And, as always, Haruka tightly gripped his hand, lingering in his hold for a moment before he was pulled to his feet, not letting go until both his feet were firmly pressed on the floor.

“Have you eaten breakfast yet?” Makoto asked.

“Not yet.” Haruka admitted, taking a step closer to the other boy, rising up onto his toes so they were eye to eye.

“We’ll be late.” Makoto said, but Haruka silenced his worries with a kiss.

He knew Makoto had changed their morning routine, turning up ten minutes earlier than he used to for times like these. Times when Haruka was feeling particularly affectionate or times when Makoto had an overwhelming desire to be close to the one he loved.

So that was why Makoto trailed his tongue over his lower lip, deepening the kiss as Haruka pressed his body against his. Haruka felt an involuntary gasp escape him as he felt Makoto’s calloused fingers caressing his bare hips. No matter how often this happened Makoto’s touch always burned, his kiss always left him breathless and begging for more.

Makoto pressed into the kiss, forcing Haruka to take a step back, desperately searching for some sort of purchase. Almost as if he’d forgotten the limitations of being in the bathroom, instead of finding a wall his knees met with the edge of the tub, sending the pair tumbling back into the still full bath.

“Haru.” Makoto mumbled as Haruka peppered his now wet face with kisses.

“What?” He asked, moving his legs apart so Makoto could slide into the newly created space, their hips pressing together.

“My uniform is getting wet.” He complained, though hemade no attempts at climbing off the other boy.

“It’s not like you don’t have spares here.” Haruka shrugged.

Since the start of their relationship Makoto spent more week nights at his house, which involved a quick trip home at six in the morning to get ready just to come back and drag Haruka out the bath. After a few weeks of this spectacle Makoto’s mother had intervened and gave Haruka one of Makoto’s spare uniforms. She confided that Makoto was too embarrassed to leave his possessions around his house but she knew he wouldn’t mind.

And he certainly didn’t, it meant an extra half an hour in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness, wrapped up in Makoto’s arms. On good days he managed to convince the boy to bathe with him as well.

“One of these days I’m going to have to learn how to say no to you.” Makoto said as he felt Haruka’s wet hands slip under his shirt.

“Is today that day?” He asked, looking up at his boyfriend with wide, lusty eyes.

“Definitely not.” He growled, diving back in for another kiss.

Haruka wasted no time in plunging his tongue into the other's mouth, caressing his lips as a deep, needy moan slipped from Makoto’s throat. His clothes were getting heavy as the water seeped into every piece of the material but he found he didn’t care. He’d be out of them soon enough.

…

Half an hour later the pair were both dressed in clean, dry clothes and heading to school. Haruka was grumpily eating a slice of toast after having run out for time to cook, a point that he had fully blamed Makoto for.

“Come on! I said I was sorry.” Makoto laughed as the stubborn boy still refused to talk to him.

He slowly bit into his dry toast, making a big show for sympathy as the crumbs stuck to his lips.

“It’s not really my fault.” Makoto said.

Haruka shot him a look, disagreeing with the statement.

“You're really not going to say anything to me? I’ve already apologised.” Makoto whined as Haruka turned his head in the opposite direction, continuing his childish silent treatment.

“Fine.” Makoto shrugged, pretending he was unfazed.

Slowly Makoto brought Haruka’s hand, which he was tightly holding, up to his lips – just because he was currently sulking didn’t mean he would forego their routine of holding hands wherever they went.

Haruka berated the pink dusting on his cheeks when Makoto pressed a wet kiss to every one of his knuckles, humming in pleasure. But Makoto wasn’t satisfied with just a blush, he was going to crack Haruka.

Makoto let his tongue slip between his lips, gently lapping at the spaces between Haruka’s fingers, probing the tight gap. He trailed his tongue down the digit before taking the tip inside his mouth, teeth gently biting down on the soft pad. Haruka moaned as Makoto moved his jaw, rolling the fleshy skin between his teeth.

He separated his teeth and sucked the finger inside, Haruka freezing as he watched his middle finger disappearing into the warmth of Makoto’s mouth, his feet no longer able to function. Makoto pulled back and swirled his tongue around the tip before swallowing him down again.

Haruka knew exactly what he was doing and god it was working, his whole body trembling as he watched the other boy sensually sucking on his finger.

“Makoto.” He moaned as the aforementioned boy pulled off with a lewd, wet pop.

“I knew I’d get you to talk.” He whispered, breath cooling the moisture on his finger

“Idiot.” He rolled his eyes.

“Worked didn’t it?” He asked, kissing the tip of his finger.

“If you keep this up I’ll end up dragging you back home.” He deadpanned.

“Not today Haru.” Makoto laughed, dropping their hands back to waist height and continuing their journey. “We have joint practice, remember?”

“Yes.” He lied.

“Good.” Makoto smiled, seeing through the other boy easily. “Now finish your toast.”

Frustrated, Haruka tore the corner of his toast using his teeth, that was not only dry it had gone cold now as well.

…

Haruka stood in the changing rooms, listening to the sounds of various different swimmers seeping through. It was summer now so that meant all of Samezuka came to their humble pool. It was unusual for this many people to be using such a small space.

It had only been the four of them for so long, and only recently had they gone back up to five – it turned out the team weren’t so great without a manager. But Gou had needed her space and nobody was going to push her to return if she didn’t want to. She was ready now, she was not fully over her pain, not fully happy with where they’d ended up but she had accepted it and was trying to move on.

Joint practice also meant that Rin would be there, who had been far less tolerant of the relationship. His loyalty lay with his sister. But the more he saw Gou’s happiness peeping through the more he saw how in love his best friends truly were. He actually considered himself a fool for not noticing it before.

The last few members of Samezuka slipped out the changing room while Makoto frantically searched for his goggles. Haruka smirked triumphantly as he held them securely behind his back, he’d spent the whole day half hard and desperate for his boyfriend and now was his time to pounce.

“They were here a minute ago.” Makoto complained as Haruka sauntered over, unnoticed.

“You mean these?” He asked, dangling the goggles in front of his face.

“Yeah.” Makoto smiled. “Where did you find them?”

“I hid them.” Haruka stated.

“Why?” He frowned in confusion.

“To get you on your own.” He grinned, pressing his body against Makoto’s, their hearts beating in time through their skin.

“You have terrible timing.” Makoto mumbled, wrapping his arms around Haruka’s waist nonetheless.

“You don’t usually complain.” He shrugged, allowing his boyfriend to pull him up onto his toes, knowing exactly what was coming next.

Gently Makoto pressed their lips together, a long but chaste kiss– anyone could walk in after all –thoughneither felt the need to deepen it. Just being together, the purist of gestures communicated their love as easily as their more passionate times alone.

“I didn’t come all this way just to watch you two swap spit.” Rin’s voice called out, breaking the moment.

“Then leave.” Haruka quipped, leaning back into Makoto only for the other boy to lean away from him with a slight shake of his head – he’d never been big on public displays of affection.

“We should probably head out to the pool.” Makoto smiled diplomatically.

“Fine.” Haruka sighed, lowing his heels back onto the ground.

“When someone wants to get in the water more than you Haru, you know your brain's all scrambled.” Rin stated, throwing a towel and successfully covering the black haired boy’s face with it. “I guess love can do that to a person.”

Shaking his head slightly, Rin headed out the changing room with a soft smile present on his lips – ever the romantic.

“Come on Haru-chan.” Makoto smiled, pulling the towel off his boyfriend's head.

Haruka said nothing in return, instead opting for taking Makoto’s hand and walking out into the sun together.

When they stepped out nobody gave them a second glance, everyone clearly used to the couple by now. Rin continued talking to Ai about his improved times, Nagisa carried on chasing Rei around with sun cream – promising he wouldn’t miss any patches of skin – and Samezuka remained stretching.

The only person who acknowledged them was Gou, briefly looking away from Seijuro who was chatting animatedly. She gave the couple a quick smile and a nod before turning back to the redhead. It wasn’t much but they understood the deeper meaning behind her simple gesture.

…

Haruka lay in the middle of the pool, listening to the voices becoming more and more distant as the sun lowered in the sky. He was on his own, his younger team mates having gone home and Makoto waving Samezuka off like the perfect host.

“Time to go.” Makoto called, always giving Haruka extra alone time in the water.

Haruka pushed himself into a standing position, noticing that Makoto was still dressed in only his jammers. He gestured with his hand to get Makoto into the water with him but he was only met with a shake of the head.

“Out you get.” Makoto insisted, holding his hand out for him.

In protest, Haruka pushed back and lowered himself so that only his eyes were out of the water. Eyebrow raised in challenge.

“Not this time, I’m not coming in there.” Makoto crossed his arms, holding his ground.

At his display of stubbornness, Haruka dropped further, disappearing fully under the water.

Makoto watched from the side-lines, glaring at bubbles raising up to the surface, his mother was expecting him home tonight to babysit. There were only so many times she would buy the ‘practice overrun excuse’ when Haruka got a little frisky in the locker room.

Slowly the bubbles stopped coming, Makoto waiting for the other boy to appear in a gasp of air but he never did. He knew Haruka was stubborn but surely he wouldn’t risk passing out just to prove a point.

Not wanting to test the theory, Makoto dived into the water, kicking his strong legs until he reached Haruka’s lifeless body at the bottom.

Once he was close enough, Haruka sprang to life, wrapping his arms and legs around his boyfriend like a vice. Makoto almost gasped and swallowed the pool water at the action, but his lips were quickly sealed by another pair.

Moaning slightly, Makoto allowed the kiss, deciding it just wasn’t worth the fight. Sensing his defeat Haruka sucked Makoto’s bottom lip into his mouth, caressing it with his tongue and nibbling slightly.

This time Makoto did gasp, allowing water and Haruka to slip inside. The contrast of the cold water and warm tongue filled his senses, calming him while also setting is nerves on fire. Makoto teased back, tongue stroking Haruka’s as the pair floated back to the surface.

They pulled apart, breathlessly panting against the others wet skin, chests rising and falling rapidly.

“We need to go home.” Makoto protested, resting his back against the nearest pool wall he could find.

“We will soon.” Haruka whispered, kissing Makoto’s neck as his head lolled back against the side.

“Haru.” He whined, as the other boy detached his legs from around his waist.

With a quick grin, Haruka disappeared under the water again. Makoto sighed slightly, he was in no mood to be playing this game.

“Haruka, home now.” He scolded, despite knowing the other boy wouldn’t hear him.

He froze slightly as he felt fingers tugging on the band of his jammers.

“Haru! What are you doing?” He asked to the seemingly empty pool as his swimsuit was rolled down to his knees.

Haruka floated underwater, mouth practically watering at the sight of his half-dressed lover. He used his arms to tread water to keep him from floating up, meaning his hands were completely out of commission. But he still had one more weapon at his disposal.

“This is getting ri… Oh god.” Makoto sagged against the side as he felt himself being engulfed into a warm heat, contrasting the cool water nipping at his skin.

Haruka loved the feel of Makoto in his mouth, limp but steadily getting harder as he sucked on the head. Using the other boy’s thighs as his anchor he pulsed his head back and forth, groaning around the length that was getting deeper and deeper with each move.

He pulled back and licked the salty residue that had gathered at the tip before coming up for a breather. Haruka burst through the water to see Makoto red faced and eyes heavy with desire.

Barely able to get his breath back his was pulled against Makoto’s chest, lips smashing together in a desperate needy kiss. Their tongues sloppily danced as they gave themselves over to the pleasure.

Haruka pulled away and stared into Makoto’s lust laden eyes, silently questioning, silently wanting, silently needing.

“Okay.” Makoto agreed, they were going to be late home now anyway, might as well make it worthwhile.

Haruka spun the taller boy around, his arms creating a cage around him as his hands gripped the pools edge.

“What about you?” Makoto asked, arching his back to press against the others crotch, only to gasp when he felt the bulge between his cheeks.

“All from sucking your cock.” He complimented in a whisper, smiling as he saw the red tinge to Makoto’s ears.

Haruka pressed soft kisses against the other's neck as his fingers trailed down his spine to the curve of Makoto’s ass. He slipped between the checks, gently dancing around the hole. Using the water as a natural lubricant he pushed his finger inside, Makoto throwing his head back at the intrusion.

After weeks together it didn’t take much to relax, and the once tight muscle let itself be teased and moulded for the other's body.

Their lips joined again as another finger slipped inside Makoto, dancing, stretching. He whimpered against Haruka’s lips as the tip brushed against that sweet spot. His body juddering as the fingers teased the spot over and over.

“Nng… I need you.” Makoto begged, needing to be filled.

Haruka pulled his hand away, reaching down to slide down his overly tight swimsuit, his own cock springing out and hitting his stomach in the water.

“Are you ready?” Haruka asked, lining himself up with Makoto’s entrance.

“Please.” He pleaded.

Haruka pushed in, Makoto groaning at the feeling, at being filled up by his boyfriend. The pair froze for a minute, waiting for Makoto to adjust before they carried on. Haruka sucked on his skin, lapping at the water dripping from his hair as he left a row of marks on his shoulder.

“Ready.” Makoto spoke up, angling his hips up for a better feeing.

Haruka began shallowly thrusting, head of his cock brushing against Makoto’s nerves each time, the other boy screaming and squeezing at the sensation.

“You feel so good.” Haruka whispered, tongue trailing around the shell of the others ear. “So tight, so warm.”

Makoto flushed at the compliments. Despite how long they’d been together, when Haruka got vocal during their intimate moments he still got flustered.

Haruka snapped his hips back before pounding in quickly, Makoto crying out, eyes scrunching shut in pleasure.

“You like that? You like my cock inside you?” He asked, a hand coming around his chest and tweaking his nipple.

“Yes.” Makoto moaned, head falling forward to rest on the wall.

“Yes?” He growled, hips never stilling, the water rippling around them with the movement. “Tell me what you like.”

“Your cock.” The boy stuttered, through pleasure and embarrassment. “I love you filling me up.”

“What else?” Haruka prompting, dick twitching as lewd words fell from his boyfriend’s mouth.

“I love it when you touch me, tug at me in time with your thrusts.” He breathed, Haruka’s hand dropping down to fulfil his wish. “I love when you kiss and bite my skin. I love… Ah.”

Makoto lost his last sentence to a lusty moan, Haruka’s thumb rubbing the slit of his cock and leaving him incapable to proper speech.

“Do you know what I love?” Haruka asked against the other boy’s neck. “I love hearing you come undone.”

“Haru.” He moaned, cock shuddering in the other boy's hand, a sign he was close.

Haruka stroked up and down the length quickly, finger smearing the pre-come around the head.

“Come for me Makoto.” He demanded.

Haruka bite down on the back of the other’s neck as he began shuddering, knowing what the boy loved was a little bit of pain among all that pleasure. Makoto cried out as his hips flicked forward, his boyfriend milking his cock as he came hard into the water, semen floating and dissolving in the water surrounding their passion.

The walls around Haruka began to pulse, massaging the cock inside as he quickened his pace, his cock throbbing and desperate for release. Makoto looked over his shoulder, desperately seeking out Haruka’s lips as they rocked in the water.

Their kisses were messy, quick brushings of lips between pants of breaths as Haruka bucked wildly, getting closer and closer to his relief. He soon began to lose control, body working without his mind instructing, fully driven by lust.

With one final thrust he came, coating Makoto’s insides with his nectars, claiming the boy as his own once again.

Haruka licked at Makoto’s neck as they both came down from their highs, cleaning away the blood he’d managed to draw. It was metallic tasting but hedidn’t care, it was Makoto’s essence and he loved everything the boy had to give.

He pulled away as he felt the taller boy turn around in his arms, tired eyes smiling at him, love shining between them.

The stood in silence, breathing deeply as they pressed their foreheads against each other’s.

They’d fought hard to get here, to be together. They had fought hard for what they had wanted and it had all been worth it. A world where they weren’t together wasn’t a world worth living in. They couldn’t be without the other, couldn’t survive without the other. Their entire world was one person, their everything.

“I love you Makoto.” Haruka whispered, a soft and rarely seen smile on his lips.

“I love you too Haru.” Makoto replied with an affectionate smile of his own, bringing his lover in for another kiss.

They were each other’s air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is, all done.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read this story I did not expect it to be this popular! Thank you to everyone who supported me and left lovely reviews, you're all amazing! Thank you to Zaabeth for helping me as my wonderful beta!
> 
> Thank you :)


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